A New Perspective

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by Shady, May 18, 2020.

  1. Shady

    Shady Active Member

    Now this has gone out of control.
    I've been binging the past few days.
    This is not working...
  2. BoughtWithBlood

    BoughtWithBlood Active Member

    Hope you’ll find your way back to being in control soon. You’ve been there before and you can get there again. Getting back on the horse is very hard after a relapse. Especially when it wasn’t Just one quick pmo, but one or more binges. This, however, does not mean it’s impossible. You’re strong, you can get there again!
    Shady likes this.
  3. Shady

    Shady Active Member

    You're right. I've been there before.

    Last night I did it again and as I sat there hating myself, I thought fatigue, exhaustion and anxiety have been creeping back since my first binge. I have to stop doing that to myself. It's difficult to stop but it's still not going to end until I end it. I have to step up.
    So I thought, New month New beginning.
    So the first of July...
    Now I'm telling myself from the near future especially my future self from September the first... "you are 60 days free of PMO"

    Onward and upward.
    BoughtWithBlood and Rudolf Geyse like this.
  4. Shady

    Shady Active Member

    Keeping my devices outside my room at night really helped.
    I've been clean for two days.
    I can't rely on willpower alone right now. In a few days I can, but not right now.
    I just need to get past the first week.
    Living likes this.
  5. Shady

    Shady Active Member

    Day 4
    Dopamine withdrawal is creeping in. I feel like shit, but I'm allowing it in with open arms like an old friend.
    It means I'm on the right track. It all feels familiar.
    Kurkuror and Gil79 like this.
  6. Joost

    Joost New Member

    No man can rely on willpower alone. Willpower seems to be one of the big macho myths nowadays.
    You can will all you want, but if God puts a block roadblock its your will against His.
    Im pretty sure willpower got you in this mess, how is it going to get you out?
    Shady likes this.
  7. Living

    Living Well-Known Member

    Awesome! It can be 'little' tweaks like this that can make quite a difference:)
    Shady likes this.
  8. Shady

    Shady Active Member

    Thanks @Joost & @Living. You're both right.

    Is it darker today? It certainly feels that way and it keeps getting darker as my body loses more and more dopamine.

    The last few days, I made new friends and I've been spending time with them. This gave me a satisfactory feeling and I haven't felt like PMOing the past few days.
    The question now is, what will I do when they get busy or I get busy and we can't see each other. Will I fall back into the habit of PMOing
    BoughtWithBlood and Gil79 like this.

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