A New Perspective

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by Shady, May 18, 2020.

  1. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    Willpower will eventually deplete, so it's indeed a good idea to find something to do. Cooking to ease the hunger?
    Shady likes this.
  2. Shady

    Shady Well-Known Member

  3. Shady

    Shady Well-Known Member

    Day 25:
    So I broke my record. I thought I'd be happy, but I feel just like I did the last few days.
    I feel like shit.
    I feel tired, I have insomnia, nothing makes me happy anymore and I'm depressed.

    Remind me again why I'm doing this?
    Will it ever get any better?

    I'm in uncharted territory here, at least for me.
    BoughtWithBlood likes this.
  4. Doper

    Doper Well-Known Member

    Thelongwayhome27 likes this.
  5. -Luke-

    -Luke- Well-Known Member

    Yes, it will get better. Nobody can say how long it will take, that's different for everybody, but there's always hope.

    Take it day by day now. You got through another day, that's great. Tomorrow will be a new day. When it gets hard and painful I always found it helpful not to look further than the current day.

    Maybe try some breathing exercises and relaxation techniques. They won't make the withdrawal symptoms go away, but they can make it a little easier.
  6. Shady

    Shady Well-Known Member

    @Doper @-Luke- thanks for the helpful replies.
    You know having others around me who've been through what I've been through really helps.
    I'm really grateful for you guys being here.
    There are some things that RL friends and family can't help you with.
    So again thank you.

    We're all in this together.
  7. Shady

    Shady Well-Known Member

    Day 27
    Still not feeling good and no sleep.
    Haven't gone for a run/jog in a few days which is making me feel worse.
    I feel I've had a really strong appetite the past two weeks and I'm gaining weight. I hate this. It took me years to reach my ideal weight.

    On the plus side the urges, I have to say, are more controllable now.
    I'm mean they're still there all the time but they have become weaker somehow.
  8. Clovis6

    Clovis6 Well-Known Member

    Hi Shady,

    Although you’re not feeling good at the moment, remember that the reason you feel that way is because your mind/body is starting to go through some major changes on the road to feeling a whole lot better in the future. So all the bad stuff can be regarded as a positive sign that you are changing. That’s how I try and look at it, hope it helps.

    Hang in there!
    Living, Shady and -Luke- like this.
  9. -Luke-

    -Luke- Well-Known Member

    I second that. Often it gets worse before it gets better. We need to see that as a sign of healing.

    Shady likes this.
  10. Shady

    Shady Well-Known Member

    I guess you're right.
    The darkest hour is just before the dawn.
  11. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    It doesn't even have to be running, any kind of exercise helps. Walking for an hour+ is one of my favourite alternative exercise methods. Are you still considering a bike?
  12. Shady

    Shady Well-Known Member

    Today I had some strong urges because I feel bad about my weight gain after it took me three years to lose it. But then I still feel hungry all the time.
    Quarantine makes me want to eat more and before quarantine I was out all the time and moving around all the time which helped me get rid of any extra calories, but now I have to stay at home most of the time.

    @Living yeah but I'm tired all the time now.

    @Eternity yeah sometimes I do walking. It depends.
    Yes I'm still considering a bike and I have been for years but I can't afford it right now. I hope I can soon.
    I have a friend who keeps asking me when I'm buying a bike because he has one and wants some company and I'd like that, but I can't right now.
  13. Shady

    Shady Well-Known Member

    You're right. I agree. It's so easy making excuse and yes running gives me more energy both physically and mentally.
    Living likes this.
  14. Shady

    Shady Well-Known Member

    Last night was so difficult. Urges were so strong and it was so itchy.
    I had to keep my phone and laptop outside my room to avoid relapsing because willpower was not so reliable then.
    I'm glad the night passed without any relapses but I fear for what's coming.
    30 days. Is that how it feels...
  15. Shady

    Shady Well-Known Member

    Just lost my uncle to Coronavirus.
    I feel so sad and angry right now.
    It's not the first time I had someone close pass away but I've always had porn as an escape. Right now it's unbearable.
    I barely escaped relapse more than once today. It's just so difficult.
  16. Thelongwayhome27

    Thelongwayhome27 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry for your loss Shady. Try your best to hang on, a PMO relapse will only make you feel worst. Maybe try some other distractions if you need comforting such as cooking yourself (even some comfort food) something good or going for a long walk or watching a movie that makes you feel well. Sometimes going for a "softer" vice can help when really necessary. Such as comfort food or video games or whatever. I hope you feel better soon.
    Shady and -Luke- like this.
  17. -Luke-

    -Luke- Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry to hear about your uncle, Shady. That's a tough moment.

    Try to give your grive some room without numbing it with porn. Maybe leave the house and go for a walk.
    Shady likes this.
  18. BoughtWithBlood

    BoughtWithBlood Well-Known Member

    So sorry for your loss man. I can totally understand it’s really really hard not to go on a binge now, to forget about the pain. As said by @Thelongwayhome27 , it won’t help you. It will just numb you for a bit until it wears off. Then you’ll be faced with the same difficult emotions, accompanied by guild and shame. It’s best to embrace your emotions right now and go through them. I know this is easier said than done. Stay strong Shady!
    Shady and Thelongwayhome27 like this.
  19. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    I'm sorry to hear that. P may seem comforting, and may be for the moment, but is it worth it? This will be a true test, but you can do it.
    Shady likes this.
  20. Shady

    Shady Well-Known Member

    @Thelongwayhome27 @-Luke- @BoughtWithBlood @Eternity Thanks guys.

    Well I went to run some errands, worked out, went for a run then came back home and had a cold shower.
    I also ate a lot and it did get me distracted a bit.
    I think I'm out of the woods for now.
    -Luke- and BoughtWithBlood like this.

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