Hello All, I'm at a crossroads: separated from wife because of POM use, and having several false starts to activate and hold onto the "reboot process". I have hesitated to start a journal or participate in a site like this, but the bottom line for me is I must--for my own sanity and hope. Been married 23 years, and through several unfortunate experiences, discovered porn about two years into marriage. I didn't actually discover it--just decided to take up a magazine and see what was in there. Since that time, it has been a steady and ever quickening downhill ride to destruction. I've crossed most boundaries I never thought I would in life, have broken the heart of my wife, and now suffer from ED, DE, and a profound fear that my wife will never welcome me back to the bedroom, even if I can curb the problems. I have several reasons why I want to gain freedom from this problem. But I can say at this point, the biggest is I want to know if I can live happily without having to constantly have some type of sexual release. When I go for any length of time without, I feel anxiety grow inside, depression starts to set in, and I become a very irritable asshole to just about everyone. I don't like myself much when I am like that. I don't blame people for not wanting to be around me; hell man, I can't stand to be around myself. Anyway, tomorrow is day one for me. I need to have a place where I can write, and this is just about as good as any other. All of you out there, please send me HONEST messages about this trip being worth it. I need to know, or at least believe, that this pathway will be worth it. I admit I am frightened about this,...but also more frightened that I am broken inside and can't recover. I'm terrified about loosing my marriage over an addiction like this. I have a lot to loose. So, I am going to venture.