You can do this. Tell yourself that. Tell yourself how you're going to do this and you will make it happen. This will be a big win for you
You got this. Anytime you’re getting antsy or about to fail - take a deep breath, think before you do. Keep busy. If you want a side project do something cleaning/organizing that she would not expect and surprise her when she’s back. Anything besides Porn.
This song has been so helpful for me, hope any metalheads on the group enjoy this. This whole album is helpful for the battle against porn. Obviously P for many of us is wrapped up in the escape from anxiety. I have had a pile of tasks I have been unable to clear. Composure is key. Breathe. Get off the ropes. I checked some boxing coach videos and the best way to fight off the ropes is to keep composure, set it up, wait for the right moment and then flip your opponent around onto the ropes. Reversal. Then go to work on your opponent. For these tasks I am planning, marrying my to-do list to the blocks in my weekly schedule so I have radical clarity on how to proceed, and then executing and delegating. I can do this. Breathe. Get off the ropes. Anyway here is the song:
I think I'm experiencing the famous "flatline" to an extent. Never had this before in all my struggles with P. The downside is I'm not feeling any urge to get with my wife physically. Other than that the streak is going well at the moment.
Peaks and valleys- im sure when you come out of the valley you and your wife will be pleasantly surprised. 21 today I believe - you can do it.
Some peeking yesterday but I wouldn't say it was a relapse. Need to tighten up, especially before sleeping otherwise I'm going to end up right back there.
Reading before bed has been helping me. Though I need to be careful to not stray to erotic lit. Been going back to good old books no kindle or tablet.
I think there is wisdom in that @Caz, I also hear analogue books are far better for bringing your brain down to sleeping level than digital. Gah! Peeked again yesterday. It's like lighting the fuse and then dousing it before it gets to the dynamite - fuse is shorter the next time. It's too dangerous. Not going to do it again when there are far better things to focus on! Good productive work and better legitimate enjoyment.
That's a very accurate way of describing peeking. It starts the wrong synapses to fire, which keeps the wrong wiring in place. Snuff out the fuse. I know you can do this!
When I'm getting it right, these are the lessons I have learned in this season: Composure is king. The goal is to react without panic when stress piles up. Adapt, plan, delegate, get help, tackle it. Engage - don't escape, to P or distraction which only makes it worse. It's composure + wisdom. A fighter can remain composed but still get his head chopped off. Keep composed and apply skill, learn as you go. Breathe - get off the ropes.
Good stuff, Rudolf. Composure and the skills to go with it. Not being blown around by the winds of chance and circumstances.
Yeah man! 22 days! Beat my previous streak of 20 days. I'm so stoked. This has been a real battle. I realised I fell into some really bad patterns with the abstain-binge-repeat cycle over the last year or so. It's still really hard going but no relapse! Very glad today. Victorious moment.
To your previous point @mailboxsam I did some metascript journalling yesterday evening before doing some work, and instead of the usual temptation to escape to smut I had an automatic and good trajectory of work - legitimate downtime - sleep. You can't keep writing out the reasons why you know P is unhelpful and the better path you want to follow, over and over, without having your thoughts, patterns and routines gradually change to align with what you're constantly writing.
Recording a relapse at 28 days. I'm happy to restart the counter and go again. My streaks are looking better overall. definitely want a completely clean month in October. That will be awesome!!!
That was a good run. I know how difficult it is to transition into the second month. A clean October sounds good, followed by the last 2 months of the year!
Was urging last night but instead of fapping I tired myself out with other legitimate entertainment. All the self-talk about how I don't want to go there anymore, plus having some blockers in place, was enough for me to stay the course. I'm so glad cos it means I've now made it into October, fully committed to having a clean month.
