Worst day of the year. I realised my finances are in an ever tighter position than I thought. Too many extra unforeseen expenses. And then also too many delays on one client's project deliverables, they are getting very impatient. Just trying to field it, salvage what I can and make the best use of time. But it's hard. Also in the back of my head I am wrecked when I think of the time wasted on P, F, Psubs... whole days wasted this year on that. Where would I be if I hadn't? Nothing I can do about the past, just gotta make better choices in the moment and try to manage this thing. With lots of prayer. As bad as things are, I can always make it worse by relapsing. I'm committed to making the change, it would be total foolishness to proceed with the same behaviour.