A new beginning

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by colimpool, Sep 10, 2013.

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  1. BadOnion

    BadOnion New Member

    I'm a socialist living in the USA. Talk about not fitting in.
     
  2. Bob Jenkins

    Bob Jenkins New Member

    Sorry about the knee, CP. Something's telling you to slow down maybe wheter you want to or not.

    Please keep us in the loop about the ciggie battle. I have no advice to offer. Never had the desire since my father was a smoke and I saw what it did to him. Not pretty.

    Anyway, my posivibes are with you as you head in to the new week.
     
  3. chicken

    chicken Guest

    Nice to see you strong in your battle CP.
     
  4. a short guy

    a short guy Well-Known Member

    Ditto to all this, plus I would add Ice for the knee, has worked miracles for me.
     
  5. colimpool

    colimpool Active Member

    good morning friends.
    thanks so much again, you chaps really are stars that shine brightly. we are in this together and we shall indeed overcome.
    many of my days on this forum have been filled with quitting porn. now i sit here without weed in my system, the last cigarette i will ever buy in a box awaiting its turn to turn into smoke and disappear. leaving whatever they leave in my lungs. the latest addictions to leave me feel the strongest to give up, weird? currently in rank...

    1)cigarettes
    2)weed
    3)pmo

    strange, huh, these games that play inside our heads? a momentous time ahead but i am looking forward to denying myself these crutches that have played their part in my life. that cloud my head. the thought of being dull and boring cloud me, but to be free, free at last (sorry to quote the great man) is pushing me onwards to explore just what i can be.

    i am proud of being part of this forum and the honesty of all members. you help in ways you will never know. the struggles are all worth it. having spent the majority of the last year porn free and had limited success i can't help but think to be free of all addictions will be anything other than positive. we will see!

    i'll read some more journals, comment as i can and smoke my last cigarette. onwards towards the sun.


    ps knee on the mend. the healing of the body is a wonderful thing.
     
  6. Caoimhín

    Caoimhín Winter's coming...

    You are making the right decision. This is MOMENTUS! A real turning point in your life. Well-done!
     
  7. Gracie

    Gracie Member

    Cp just dropping in your journal. You are doing so well. I can only say this all gets better with time.

    Yesterday I told my husband I was so glad he changed. He told me he became what he knew he was all along and had lost sight of. And is becoming who he always wanted to be.

    Precious words.
     
  8. colimpool

    colimpool Active Member

    thanks Gracie and Caoimhín

    did ok today, had 3 roll ups tonight, out for a friends birthday but managed to go through the day without smoking, which was great.
    back on the straight path tomorrow. pro has a back seat, not even thinking about it! so some benefits. 2 weeks tomorrow, which is great. much to do and accomplish.

    feeling full of food. and feeling better to not have smoked all day.

    good night all.
     
  9. Bob Jenkins

    Bob Jenkins New Member

    An ambitious agenda, CP, and my hat's off to ya. You can do it. Please don't fail to give us at least a daily update regarding those 3 areas.

    I keep thinking I should like pot but I don't. And it always too easily leads to you know what. maybe when i resume a sex life with my wife i'll use it as an enhancement. Until then it's one less habit to manage.
     
  10. colimpool

    colimpool Active Member

    reading around the forum a thought crossed my mind. that these days without porn lead me to better health too. for much of my adult life i have suffered from a bad back, i can't remember the last time i had prolonged back ache. i feel stronger both mentally and physically. the longer i progress on this path, the better i feel. sometimes in this new journey we forget how far we have travelled, the self-centred personality, the woe-is-me attitude is leaving me. i feel good about myself. not cocky. i am not a good guy, far from it. but without the porn and subsequent negative attitude it brings i am feeling a bit more appreciative of who i am and where i am going.

    all in all there is much to commend this journey and frankly nothing to be gained in going back.

    i am in for the long haul. there is no other way. the sun is shining both in my heart and out there through the door.
     
  11. Zed.

    Zed. Steady as she goes...

    Great to read your positive outlook CP. I couldn't agree more.

    There is no other way, full stop.

    Hope you're going well with the cigarettes too - am thinking of you and wishing you well for that in particular. You can leave them behind and find an even brighter experience of the world without them, they bring nothing but ill health, death and negativity.

    Nice to have some sun, inside and out!
     
  12. fcjl8

    fcjl8 The only path for me

    colimpool, 2 weeks strong! This is good brother.
     
  13. colimpool

    colimpool Active Member

    Z

    cigs not going well but i will get there, weed and porn now left my system and never to return...

    fcjl8

    it feels great to be racking up the days again. feeling positive and alive and ready to see myself in a different light.

    2 weeks down the rest of my life to go.
     
  14. Mart71

    Mart71 Guest

    Congrats on getting two weeks - on to the next 14 days, then 14 weeks, then 14 months. Easy. >_<
     
  15. nofapado

    nofapado Guest

    CP the cigs are a tough one. It will probably take awhile to stop because it is a physical addiction to the nicotine. are you using gum or the patch?
     
  16. colimpool

    colimpool Active Member

    trying without any aid, to my mind (at the moment) i feel i will swap one addiction for another AND, still be addicted to nicotine... will keep you posted!
     
  17. a short guy

    a short guy Well-Known Member

    Couple thoughts,

    Learn as much as you can about the detrimental effects of cigarette addiction just like we're doing with P.

    Since nicotine triggers the parasympathetic nervous system calming and relaxing us, why not learn to trigger the parasympathetic nervous system and relax yourself on your own, at will. I do progressive relaxation, deep abdominal and yogic breathing techniques (pranayama), autogenics, meditation. Controlling the breath is the key to controlling the nerves and emotions. Learning to do this on your own at anytime without the help of smoking might be of benefit.
     
  18. colimpool

    colimpool Active Member

    thanks for your post asg

    am smoking less. is my journal going off message? seems smoking is taking over! to my mind these addictions are all linked. and they are all about our brains making little deals with us. i failed at the smoking so then my brain says, well maybe as you are smoking now you can smoke a little weed... and then.... i think we all know.

    thankfully this quit smoking battle is taking up a lot of time and has pushed the porn battle to the back of my mind, i just don't really think about it and when i do it is very fleeting and goes quickly.

    on a good note am presently waiting for loads of documents to arrive from our solicitor and then after ploughing through them exchange and completion of our new house should be within a week or two. it has been a stressful time, i had forgotten just how stressful it can be but the worst will be over in a day or two and we will know what we are getting into. i am looking forward to having a new project to take up my time, i enjoy diy and there is much to do, loads in fact, should keep me out of mischief for some time.

    without porn in my life i feel much happier. it is a good foundation to help with my other addictions and i know deep down the resolve is there and they can be beaten. finally. coming back here at the start of the year was difficult both in having to admit my slip and setting the counter back to ZERO, but is has give me hope that i can be free. the first few days after pmo'ing are the worst, the thought that well its only couple of days lost in counter world BUT the truth is you have to start somewhere and if you keep failing after a few days you will never get to the point where you realise how good life is without the digital devil on your back.

    wallowing is no good. you need resolve. you need to deny yourself. you need to be porn free more than you even realise. ramble on plays on the radio. indeed. on and on.


    fight it with all your might.
     
  19. mcbc_rewired

    mcbc_rewired Active Member

    Good to hear the positive feelings Colimpool.

    I guess like with P you have really got to want to give up the cigs. Not sure that is often the case, at least not for me.

    And am sure you have had Alan Carr's book pressed on you a billion times, so am risking your ire recommending it, but it worked for me and many others. In fact I hazard a guess that the secret sauce he describes to giving up smoking is the same for Porn:

    1. What we see as the cause of us doing P or smoking is in fact caused by P or smoking (i.e. the things we use these drugs to be a salve for like tension, anxiety, etc etc are largely caused by or at least greatly exacerbated by these so-called salves).

    2. Most attempts to give up P or smoking fail because we don't really, REALLY want to give up. We STILL see smoking or P (or candy or gambling etc) as something desirable but to be resisted. We haven't changed our minds on smoking or P, just tried to will ourselves off it. Carr on smoking and YBOP on P show us that these things are grotesque and extremely damaging, wrong, etc both because of the reasons in 1. and also for countless other reasons.

    3. The physical addiction to either P or smoking is very short lived. A few days or weeks. The rest is purely desire.

    4. Ergo, we white knuckle for a few days etc to get passed physical need, and then wreck the desire in our minds by a forensic examination of 1. and other reasons why its so bad for us and hence not desirable at all, and we can then be released from the trap.

    I.e. we have to kill the idea that P or smoking is desirable, delicious. We can't succeed until that.

    I think this is my problem with P anyway. Yes I have triggers like my shitty abused childhood etc. but I just would not use P if I really stop seeing it as exciting, calming, delicious (which in moments I still surely do). I would choose another way to respond to those triggering feelings - something more constructive. When I gave up the cigs, I replaced it with walking etc.

    Not sure but actually thinking about this makes me wonder whether its worth me re-reading Carr and substituting the word Porn every time it says smoking!

    Just a conjecture but I don't think smoking is off topic at all; part of the same pattern and the substance is interchangeable.
     
  20. chicken

    chicken Guest

    Congratulations on 2 weeks CP. Onward.
     
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