A new beginning

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by colimpool, Sep 10, 2013.

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  1. colimpool

    colimpool Active Member

    Hello All,

    i have missed you all and your inspiration.

    Decided to start a new thread as i want to feel that although my last attempts are still part of my overcoming this addiction, i need to feel renewed.

    Why did my last attempt go wrong? To be honest i don't know. like smoking, which i also need to quit, there are no positives in continuing my habits. only negatives. but their pull seems so great. the pull that fucks up your life. it doesn't make sense.

    Anyway. it feels great to be back with you. i hope to attain the heights of several helpful posters. I thought by now i would be out of this fog. I guess something which has been a part of most of your life takes a while to be rid of.
  2. ravachol

    ravachol Onwards and upwards...

    It does take time...but it can be done. Good luck, we're all here cheering you on.
  3. Zed.

    Zed. Steady as she goes...

    Hey colimpool, I'm just back on here myself mate after having left feeling like I'd cracked it for the most part and then falling back in to the old ways.

    Well done for getting back into the work, I agree it is good to be back. Every time back at it is another step onwards...

    Good luck!
  4. mcbc_rewired

    mcbc_rewired Active Member

    Hi colimpool

    Good to see you back. Was wondering about you.

    Yep it's a struggle but it gets easier. I've been at this quitting busienss for 10 years now. But I remain convinced this forum makes it much much easier to quit.

    Best wishes
  5. Apuleius

    Apuleius Guest

    Welcome back, coolimpool ~!

    Let's recover !
  6. bright_eyes

    bright_eyes Master of My Own Mind?

    Welcome back, CP. For some of us, being here--instead of there--is the victory.
  7. colimpool

    colimpool Active Member

    thank you all for your warm words, i hope to learn and listen and help any way i can. it's great to be back and as night falls, free of porn for a whole day. that means an awful lot to me.

    thank you
  8. sonofJack

    sonofJack I deserve self-respect

    One day down, one to go.

    All the way to new heights yourself Colimpool.

  9. LTE

    LTE Master Of My Domain

    Welcome home. We're here to help.
  10. FacebookVirus

    FacebookVirus New Member

    Glad you're giving it a second chance.

    I'm on my second major push and - I'll go ahead and jinx it, as we used to say when I was a kid - I'm finding it easy so far. Probably won't be a jinx after all; I think the first time around it's easy to make it more difficult for yourself. I'm refusing to do that this time and I'm seeing the difference.

    Keep going.
  11. Bob Jenkins

    Bob Jenkins New Member

    I'm right there with you.
  12. imout

    imout Active Member

    Man, Col, look how many fine men have replied instantly, If that isnt support... You can do this, many here have taken ages to get a full grip on it. With some, including me, it took a frustrating period of relapsing forever until th e penny dropped. OMega is the inspiration to all of those.
    Th ekey is to stay on the forum and use us for accountability. We support without judging, that is the deal here. So do lean on the forum.
  13. colimpool

    colimpool Active Member

    indeed imout i am a fortunate man.
    thank you all for your words of encouragement. of course i will lean on you all, as you are welcome to my shoulders.
  14. SteveA

    SteveA New Member

    Hello colimpool, stay here, it can only get better...
  15. colimpool

    colimpool Active Member

    wiil do SteveA :)

    2 full days, it feels good to say that. been here before, but without the previous relapses which hopefully will boost my chances of quitting once and for all. there are strong flashes of taking a peak but really what would be the point. In the past i have, when relapsing, thought i could just have a look M and not mention it here. nobody will know. but really whats the point. its the dishonesty and hiding away nature of P which sickens me. along with the thought that many of the actors in these P flicks have no other choice in their lives but to make money by being exploited in the most degrading way.

    again i have had these thoughts before and returned to the misery of p, so am careful, very careful to think i've in any way cracked this shit. ive gone 20+ P free days on a few occasions and remember all too well the disappointment of giving in. having to come back here and confess all. even with all the words of encouragement, i felt like a failure and i guess at those points i did fail.

    i am making my way through your threads, catching up and acquainting myself with newbies. this will take time.

    i really haven't forgotten how wonderful i felt when i found this new home and thought i was out of the woods. in realty i am at the start of a new journey. a journey without the baggage of falseness i have been carrying for far too long.
  16. imout

    imout Active Member

    This fight wont be over in a hurry. But that isnt as depressing as it sounds, because there is ongoing progress and while staying in the process of self discovery and healing we develope our personalities more than your average punter out there ever does. And the actual struggle of course recedes a lot.

    Im glad ive entered this path, even though it isnt easy for me right now. I feel im on a good trajectory.

    Great you are back, and do use us for accountability. no cheating
  17. colimpool

    colimpool Active Member

    thank you buddy, the not telling is daft really. what's the point. if we can't be honest on here we may as well pack in. i have never met a bunch of people willing to spend their time helping others with advice and encouragement. i just wish i could spend more time reading, understanding and helping too...

    i'm taking it slowly.
  18. SteveA

    SteveA New Member

    Reading here, helping others, encourage them, I think its a fine source for dopamine.... try it, slow but steady !
  19. colimpool

    colimpool Active Member

    thanks Steve, will do :)
  20. colimpool

    colimpool Active Member

    Stupid as it sounds, 3 full days without P feels like a real achievement, thanks to you all for your kind words AND your journals, have really enjoyed reading them. rather than think i have failed in the past i am thinking the relapses help me now in realizing there is no point at all in going back to PMO. it is all about the moment. it is brief. the disappointment compounds the feelings of negativity about myself. let's not be too tough with ourselves, we are on the road to recovery, however long it takes.

    wish you all a happy friday
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