A New Beginning

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by -Luke-, Jan 17, 2019.

  1. Pete McVries

    Pete McVries Active Member

    Stand by me, The Long Walk, It, The Green Mile are a few that come to mind. I haven't read many books written by him but coincidentally, all of the ones I've read were about friendship or companionship one way or the other.
     
  2. -Luke-

    -Luke- Active Member

    Rowing course again yesterday. It's a lot of fun but the technique is way more difficult than one might think. A lot of things to watch out for at the same time. But like I said: A lot of fun. I'll stay with it after the beginners course is over. Normally when I train in the evening I have difficulties falling asleep but last night I slept quite good. Today I'm strangely horny. Not that it's strange to be horny but I'm not really used to it after years of flatlining / fake porn libido / relapsing.

    Not much to report regarding the dating website. I'm not that active. The reason I signed up there was my shyness around women in real life and I thought it would be easier to meet someone online where you meet after you already talked a little bit. But recently I'm feeling more confident around women in real life. More confident around other people in general. Maybe it's because it's getting warmer and I'm just happier but it's a change.
     
  3. -Luke-

    -Luke- Active Member

    Yesterday I found my old MP3-Player. I thought it was broken because there was some electronic trouble a while ago that prevented me from listening to music and podcasts. I bought a new one that was cheap afterwards. I don't listen to music or podcasts on my phone because I try to use my phone as seldom as possible. I get sucked in to easily when I use it for a long time. I also prefer real paper books over E-Book readers, my laptop or a tablet. When I use electronic devices for my reading I always feel distracted and and jittery. But I digress, that's not what I wanted to talk about. On that old MP3-Player I found the episodes of the old YBR radio show. Maybe some of you guys remember it. It was a project from fugu, Apeman and Jeff. None of them is active anymore in this forum. I hope they stopped posting here because they are all right and were able to leave porn behind. I was a regular listener in 2014 from the first episode. That podcast gave me so much hope and motivation back then. Yesterday a listened to the first two episodes again. I felt some melancholy and even grief at first because those times are over and I'm still here battling this addiction. But I also felt good listening to it because the feeling of motivation came back like back in the old days. I think I'll listen to the other episodes as well. Unfortunately they stopped after 14 or 15 or so. But it was good to hear those voices again and I hope the guys live a good and happy life now.

    Today before noon I was walking around in the forest for 3 hours. That always gives me a nice relaxed feeling. Should do that more often. Tomorrow there's rowing training again and I'm looking forward to it. Hope all of you have a good day!

    Edit:
    Hah, I just realized that this is page 10 in my journal. My old one in 2014 had only 3.
     
  4. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    Rowing sounds fun and social enough for one's needs. And you can't help but wonder what had happened had we not lost track in the "early years." Well, it doesn't change the reality that we're still here, fighting. However, I do think that if we can invoke the feelings that we had in the beginning, we're on the right track.

    Where can these episodes be found?
     
  5. -Luke-

    -Luke- Active Member

    @Eternity
    Here's the shows old thread. I hope the link works. Noah Church uploaded the episodes on youtube a while ago and they still seem to work.
     
    Eternity and Professor Chaos like this.
  6. -Luke-

    -Luke- Active Member

    Yesterday I was rowing again in the evening and for the first time it was taxing on the body. Fell asleep late last night and had a wet dream at around 4 AM. Wasn’t able to fall back asleep afterwards and expected a hard day. But until now (1:45 PM Central European Time) it didn’t really affect me. Have normal energy level and no brain fog. Maybe wet dreams don’t affect me that much anymore. In the past I always felt like after a relapse for one or at most two days. Not at all today. In general I feel quite good the last ~ two weeks.
     

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