A new beginning

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by staythecourse, Oct 15, 2017.

  1. Haller_79

    Haller_79 Member

    It's not a date. She has clearly friendzoned you (at best). So you if you are after anything more you are completely wasting your time.
     
  2. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    and Im fine with it. Because we havent even met. And the pressure is off. Im throwing all strategies and analysis out the door, because they have resulted in me being exactly where I am now-alone. Chances are this wont work and I'm "friendzoned", but Im just not too worried anymore.
     
    gavney likes this.
  3. gavney

    gavney Active Member

    Good stuff man. Glad to hear you're putting yourself out there anyway, no harm having a new female friend as long as your expectations aren't too high. Who knows, she may even have a friend for you!
     
  4. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    no clue what will happen. The only reason I think it may work is because we havent met yet. So who knows.
     
  5. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    well, an update. I did the online dating thing. It had been so long and I finally dived in. All the apps and a site. I did a ton of it. Total disaster. Games. A pron and fantasy addicts "crack." Not a good idea. Did not work well. Was disastrous for me. And it is for most. For some reason I thought there might be a shot and was really not giving myself the best shot to meet girls. Im not missing anything.

    Went to church with a girl Im friends with. We were thinking of going to Asia together. Unfortunately, she is annoying and I could never go on a trip with her. And 99% of girls I dont want to hang out with. I just do find them annoying and needy.

    So all the advice of having a girl to hangout with, having one to help me with my problem, getting in the game, online dating..well, its all been terrible advice. The fact is Im alone. Im sad sitting in my apt every night alone, even if I do socialize alot..for example..I'll meet my running club at 6:30 we go for a run..laugh and socialiaze, we get dinner..but there is still that sitting and watching tv from 8:30-11 that I find so lonely..and thats a good 6 days a week. So I just dont know.
     
  6. Deleted User

    Deleted User Guest

    Don't give up so easily. I know plenty of guys who went on 50+ dates. Sometimes it's just fate/luck. Other times you really have to try if you don't want to be lonely. There are billions of people in this world, so there's definitely someone for you...believe me. Everyone can find someone they like and are attracted to. But if you know in advance there's no hope, you will never find someone. It's persistence, creativity and trying new things and keeping in mind that life is not fair and you have to work hard sometimes to get to where you want to be...
     
  7. cjm

    cjm Well-Known Member

    Have you considered being gay? That could work well for ya! :)
     
    Thebeg likes this.
  8. Thebeg

    Thebeg Well-Known Member

    You can't blame the advice. It has worked for other guys. It seems your mindset sabotages your efforts. In most of your posts I read a self-defeating attitude, thinking the girl will reject you, even before an interaction started. Those thoughts are toxic and will ruin every interaction with a woman. Then afterwards you're very judgmental about yourself. This cycle keeps repeating.

    Can you blame a woman for not wanting to be around a guy that constantly reminds himself he's a failure? It seems you tried the online dating thing more to prove to us how terrible it is, than actually making an effort to have it work and hook up with a girl. Whatever you chose to use as your approach, a positive outlook is essential.

    I also see you change your attitude about women almost daily. One day all women under 30 years are a strict no-go, the next it's about some young barista in her early 20s. There is no wrong here, but you seem in this constant state of flux between judging yourself, or giving in to your primal urges. Why is that, and do you think it's possible to fully accept yourself, which includes those primal urges as well?
     
    gavney likes this.
  9. Haller_79

    Haller_79 Member

    Your self pity has just gone next level bro. I can totally understand if other people's advice does not work for you. But then it's up to you to do things your way, and if it all goes to shit, you need to accept it, learn from it and try something else.
     
    Living and Thebeg like this.
  10. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    funny.
     
  11. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    thanks dude just gonna try to live right and let it happen. At some point I gotta get comfortable being alone. A girl wont fix everything.
     
  12. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    yup you're totally right..and this is an online profile, so its not like people know me that well. But I will say online dating is like "crack" and extremely messed up and messes with the mind and I know a lot of people who agree.
     
  13. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    online dating is like crack, at least where I live. totally nuts. I have a lot of friends who agree. And Im negative here, agreed. very frustrated scared and sad. but dont present in person. the young barista was about one thing-sex.
     
  14. cjm

    cjm Well-Known Member

    well if you will make such silly statements, you cant blame a guy for teasing you, all in good spirit though STC :)
     
  15. Living

    Living Well-Known Member

    Just curious: what are you thinking about this when you read this back?
     
  16. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    its fine dude, there are days I effing wish I was. seems easier. I think you gotta go through some pain to get to the other end. I really wanna laugh at this crap in ten years with a wife and a few kids.
     
  17. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    truth? I think of a girl saying..99% of guys I dont want to hang out with because I find them needy and annoying.

    damn, thats genius!
     
    Londoner likes this.
  18. Deleted User

    Deleted User Guest

    That gay comment really silenced you. Hope you are doing okay.
     
  19. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    Ive been acting out and when Im not sober dont really bother posting here.
     
  20. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    Ive been acting out. Same story. Lots of masturbation. Isolation in my bedroom. Eat more poorly and not as social or good an employee. Just dont want to deal much with life, the same story. I started off going slowly with girls on the dating apps, but just turned it into sexting and then faking being another person. The gasmes from girls really annoy the eff out of me. The cancellations and not responding to texts and million instances are just so ridiculous.

    I did have one very attractive Japanese woman who was very very into me. But shes 47. She looked way younger though. I just treated her like crap and eventually dumped her though. I just let my anger out on her from all the other girls who pissed me off. She gave me her heart so I could crush it. Not good..eye for an eye the whole world goes blind. This instance probably happens 1000x a day..when I should have never gone out with her or at least dropped her lightly. (I said a bunch of really nasty things to dump her as well as set her up with my "imaginary" friend.)

    Im still really hurt that the girl the tennis client set me up with didnt work out. Someone here said it was "served up on a silver platter." Thats the first girl I was really excited about in years. I really cant think of a girl I thought seriously about in the last five years. I did date a girl in January 2015 for one month, but I was 35 and she was 23 and I knew it would never work. So yeah..this girl, is the first on 5+ years. (The things you guys see me post here about barista girls and the such, I dont have a true long term interest in.)

    Who knows. When Im acting out my life spirals downward. I cant control my masturbation or sexting, or dating apps. More power to the people who are able to handle them maturely. I know the only way for me is to be sober..no porn, masturbation or orgasm. That opens my life up to possibilities and the true me. The dilemma of course is my chaos..crawling out of my skin with loneliness, sexual tension, fear of being alone my entire life, the fear that Im not doing enough to find my significant other. And you guys see it here through my whining. I go practically insane. So I know I need to be sober, but cant seem ti handle it.
     

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