A new beginning

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by staythecourse, Oct 15, 2017.

  1. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    Another day no PMO. Its nice to be staying sober in June..I think this is the first time ever? I mentioned before if I can stay sober through October (my busy season), then I have a real shot to stay sober for life. Summer is by far the toughest for me and I must stay on this path. Im starting to learn the value of training my mind..that everything happens between my ears. I have fear about $, my business, my future..I've built this big tennis business on public courts and it may be all shut down. The private courts I teach on could easily say "no more, we are tired of all the cars, people", etc. Its very flimsy and risky. I also have my competitors..the country clubs, indoor clubs, parks and rec programs. Other independent pros. The fact that its so physical..sure I could teach 15hrs a week for life, but not 30-40 (which I feel I need for a good income).

    Its really incredible what I've built..basically a "club" on public and private courts. I feel every year the time is nearer for it all to end. What really needs to happen is a transition to a club..to an official facility with more stability. From there I can promote and advertise more (I cant currently promote my business which is on public courts..it would be like a drug dealer promoting himself!) I can also hire pros. I tried to make it happen a couple years ago by getting the process of a bubble over public courts going, but it was shot down. It really seems the town where I've built my name is the place to do it..I've been here a good ten years now and have seen kids grow up. I've worked with hundreds and hundreds of families. My edited/updated weekly email list is more than 470 families. It would just make sense for the transition to the next level, club ownership, which isn't happening. Its frustrating, but I sense there may be a greater plan in the works.

    Stay the course..
    TheScriabin likes this.
  2. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    Another day no PMO. Continuing this journey. I showed up to the public courts with one court open..I went and hopped on it and 5 minutes later another pro came and had to redirect his client elsewhere. I've gotten lucky so many times I wonder how much more it will happen. MY mantra this year is.."just keep going." Send the next promotional email..send the next text trying to sell a lesson..tell the next person we are looking for more clients and to meet more people. Just keep going with it all. I'm reading this book about child's brothels in Cambodia and pure agony and defeat and the woman just keeps going. Little girls escaping this horrific life. Its possible. People endure much worse. I can handle the hot weather, or someone's pissy attitude or a court issue. We just keep going. I never know if I will survive another year, but so far I have and its not that bad.

    Stay the course..
  3. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    Another day no PMO. Yesterday was rough. A lady came back to the courts hours after the adult clinic..confronted me face to face to say the pro did not feed the ball well enough to her..and that she didnt like the level of the other ladies on the court. The levels were totally fine. This is the fourth year the pro has been working with me. But to be fair, another lady did complain about him. If he runs his court well enough they wont mention levels, its the pro. Regardless, I thought their court was completely fine and I was shocked. But her driving back to the public courts as I had two parents watch and their two kids and she confronted me nastily, it was a scene. Unbelievable. And I had to just keep on going. Tennis isn't pretty. Its so sad..I think about how Im helping others some days..kids smiling giving people a workout..getting people away from the stresses of life..and then this whole other nasty side. They dont even know the stress of getting the courts..recruiting players..recruiting pros..,and these pyschobitches go off on a $35 clinic. Patience baby..there aint no such thing as an easy dollar..love it when someone says "You play tennis for a living?" Ha, I havent played in 15 years, I just manage psychobitches.

    Stay the course..
  4. gavney

    gavney Active Member

    Sounds like that lady was just a rotten apple, don't let her spoil your mood! I sell goods online and those types of customers are very rare, but the ones who are like that can ruin your day. Thankfully I rarely deal with them face to face!
    Sounds like you have a really nice business going there. However, it also sounds like you're a bit concerned that it's all going to fall flat at some stage. Unless you've gotten into financial difficulty and have massive debts, I don't see why you should be worried from what you've described.
    I've felt that about my small business as well. I rely on a handful of products that I import and sell mainly on Amazon, Ebay etc.. I've been doing it for 5 years. My best selling product, anyone could copy no problem and it used to worry me. Someone eventually did, but they did a crappier version of it, and it doesn't have a high a ranking/ reviews as mine so I'm still doing ok.
    It's good that you're aware of the potential for things to take a dip but you sound like someone who will find a way to keep things going, so I hope you're not worrying too much.
  5. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    Thanks, appreciate the positive sentiment. Yes, 80%of people are ok, and 20% try to wreck you. Overall I enjoy working with people and providing a nice service. This has worked for years and I haven't been shut down yet. If I do, there is always a way. I feel these experiences are preparing us for the future. They lead us in different directions or prepare us for bigger things. I may have my own club one day and you may have something bigger too. I also cant be teaching tennis40 hrs a week in the heat for another 10 years..its brutal in my 30's def not in my 40's. There is a lot to look forward to in life. For me I just work on the next email promo, the next lesson, the next interaction. And try to enjoy it all..
  6. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    Another day no PMO. Volunteered in church yesterday. Its no joke..7:30am-1:30pm. Luckily its only once every three weeks. I am tired all day, so I figure I'll decline volunteering every couple months so its not too bad. I slowly meet people through volunteering...have little conversations...one guy I've talked to my possible trip to SouthEast Asia about..another guy I learned is sober and he told me about his job..another girl, who I have no interest in, told me where she lives. This is how true friendships are made. I kind of wish I had an entertaining space in my apartment, because then I could invite 5-6 people over for a potluck dinner. Or book club, or movie or whatever. Maybe in the future.

    Another week of tennis begins. For now my focus is on getting through June. Its a bit of a crazy time..people are stressed school is getting out..I have my morning ladies clinics and kids after school clinics..and Im trying to get some July kids tennis going. Right now summer tennis setup is weak and I really need to build it. Not sure what I can do, but believe it or not, july and august, summer peak season, is usually kind of weak for me. Another opportunity to build something and make more money. Spring and fall have kids after school clinics and ladies clinics in the morning. Summer all the kids go away to camp so I get hit there. The ladies clinics are not as consistent either. Winter I fill after school clinics and ladies morning clinics at higher rates and only book 15-18hrs a week. In an ideal world the spring and fall would stay the same, I would run a big summer program somewhere..jsut July and August..or maybe all day kids camps for 6 weeks and then I would own an indoor tennis club in the winter. I think this could all happen and I could make 500k a year. Crazy right? I might just be on that path. The only reason I think I'm not? My biggest dream is to help the less fortunate around the world..to be a world humanitarian. To leave the world by making a difference and rescuing the less fortunate around the world. So more will be revealed I guess..

    Stay the course..
  7. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    Another day no PMO. I was looking at an old conversation I had with a girl on facebook years ago. Its all such a joke. How I was constantly chasing girls and hiding behind a computer screen. I dont want that life anymore. Just reading it all makes me kind of sick. I'm glad to be living life again. Im happy to be staying sober during the crazy time of summer.

    I continue to move forward with tennis lessons. Its just a matter of shooting texts out to see if someone wants a lesson, sending my mass emails, annoyingly trying to put groups together, even when they don't respond to emails, and just keep going. Its very tough putting these groups together and trying to make it all happen. Some people are very nice and agreeable and at other times people are brutal. Thins are crazy through June, but I know I only have about 18 more days of chaos left. When July hits all the kids go away so that dies out, then you have 4th of July week. I'll probably even be a little bored in July..thats ok, a little golf, gym, running and escape from the tennis court.

    Stay the course..
  8. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    Another day no PMO. Body is feeling pretty beat from all the tennis and its still early in the season. The mind takes a hit too from the complaints. Funny how I live for the winters now (Nov1-MAy 1), as its my slow season. Kind of weird though, if I love teaching tennis but live for when I don't do it. Although Nov1-May1 is rough because I only work 15-20hrs a week, get bored, feel like Im unemployed and then get depressed. Hmm, the challenges of work and life. Must continue to search for things Im passionate about, pursue interests, pursue love.

    Its been a lonnnng time since I had a woman in my life. January 2015 was the last time I dated a girl I really liked and it took me a couple years to get over her. Last April I dated a crazy girl, but was never that into her and it was really just a fun hookup scenario. I am OK for now, but I do look forward to opening myself up to possible dating experiences..at 90 days of sobriety (June 30th), and if I am to get to 6 months of sobriety..possible healthy dating like online. For now I am on a strict no dates, no colleting of phone #s, no nothing. Its probably good as work is crazy anyways..just wish all this stress on my mind and body would dissipate.

    Stay the course..
  9. gavney

    gavney Active Member

    That's not that long in my book. It had been 10 years since the last girl I properly dated! I also know lots of friends who've gone many years without really dating anyone.
    I like your idea of a no dates period. It will make dating much more enjoyable when you're ready.
    I decided to do that for a few months last year, mainly due to my job being my main focus, and it was a good idea for me, as I was really just half-arsed about any dates I went on at that time.
  10. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    well three years ago it we dated for less than a month..and I was with a married woman for a few months in 2013. So the last girl I truly dated was junior yr of college..so its been 16 yrs since I've had a gf..once I start dating I'll be tired of it..bad dates are a bitch
  11. ClimbXR

    ClimbXR Active Member

    Oh man, dates are truly a bitch... especially if they are blind/online.

    I went on a few dates last year and it was terrible... the girls in my city are so materialistic. I remember spending over $100 on drinks and crappy appetizers at some bar with one girl (my fault). I'm never doing online dating again. I've decided to just go to events and get #s and make connections in the flesh with people I have instant chemistry. It may seem like more work but I'm realizing the online game is not as fun. I also want to limit my time on the phone and computer.

    Can't wait to here your progress after 90 days!
  12. Fry2

    Fry2 Well-Known Member

    How much did you invest in cryptocurrencies and why?
  13. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    200k..well it just grew and grew and grew investing over time..research..this is all so easy for people to criticize in retrospect and we still dont know what will happen. On the flip side, some people have made incredible investments and people hail them. Regardless, I am down a lot of money..its painful and puts a huge pit in my stomach and just really screws you up in the head..if I compare it to the number of tennis lessons Ive had to teach in the sweltering heat or what not, its ugly. I can't. I cant think about it.
  14. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    Another day no PMO. I keep reminding myself, and remembering, sobriety is #1 in my life. Im surrounded by guys who can't get a couple weeks of sobriety, and Im staying sober through my busy season. I spoke to my sponsor a couple days ago, he just got back from abroad, and I caught up with him. I told him that a woman I teach tennis to wants to set me up with her personal trainer who she says is very positive and Eurasian. I told him I was doing no dates and no #s for 3 months..(and in my head Im kind of excited to meet here, which would be only a couple weeks away.) Well, his response was he thinks I should wait 6 months for dates..ugh, he took the wind out of my sails. But he seems to know more than me. I will have to think about it..compromise at 4.5 months? LOL

    I checked my #s last night and noticed my business is not doing too poorly. They are somewhat on par as last year. I feel as though Im working a bit less hard, so I can't complain. If I were to go down 10% this year it would be fine. I know I will survive another couple years. Thats all I can look out. The only way I could go out of business totally is injury or getting completely shut down. Its amazing how much I worry about this and think about money. I think society puts to much pressure on us about career, materialism, status and future. All is well, all is well, all is well.

    Finally, meeting with a community director guy from my church today. He reached out to me. I'll see how it goes. Share our stories with each other and go from there.

    Stay the course..
  15. gavney

    gavney Active Member

    That's alot of money, sorry to hear that.
    However, you're not the first person to make a bad investment and you won't be the last. I'd say nearly everyone makes these sort of financial mistakes in life. I've certainly made a few myself, particularly in terms of business costs.
    If it had gone the other way, you'd probably be cursing how much time you're spending on tennis lessons when you could just be making investments! So, don't beat yourself up anyway, it could have gone the other way, you just don't know.

    My brother has been a investment banker for the last 20 years. He was totally behind bitcoin and was advising everyone in our family to invest. Fortunately, those who did, got out at a good time, so they made a bit. I didn't invest myself as it seemed too good to be true, and also I didn't really have the spare cash to invest!

    Congrats on the continued reboot!
  16. Thebeg

    Thebeg Well-Known Member

    Crypto will be alright. For years there are short peaks with a subsequent crash leading to a new plateau. It may take a couple more years but a new rally will probably happen at some point in time.
  17. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    Another day no PMO. Got a long day on the courts..Im a little nervous as I've gotten dizzy and the body is getting beat up, but I also am grateful for hours/work/money. My goal is to work really hard through June and give it all I got. July is not looking great right now, so I most likely won't be on the court as much. I have about two more weeks to give it this last big push before things slow down a bit. I need the slow down and the heat is coming anyways.

    Yesterday I met with a community director from my church and he was really cool. He drifted for a few years in his 20's working for a few months..then going back home..going to another country, working, then back home. He finally met his now wife who was full of faith and they fell in love. He moved to my city about a year ago. It gave me hope as this guy has drifted like myself to an extent, found the woman of his dreams who he has two kids with now, and has faith. I want to continue to build my faith and hope the woman comes along too.

    I guess I am getting a bit more comfortable being alone..I've lived alone for two years now. Its still tough. I still wish I had a girl and time is flying by..but as my faith grows I just believe this is where I'm meant to be. I also believe I treated so many women poorly and sinned in so many ways, that I need time alone to think about what I've done and find myself..before going to the next woman, who I need to treat right. That is most important.

    Stay the course..
  18. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    Another day no PMO. Yesterday was a good day on the courts..I worked hard, but the weather was perfect and I had a series of good lessons. It made me realize that I do enjoy teaching tennis for the most part. I have a couple lessons each week that I actually look forward to teaching. I get excited to teach them because I know the student is looking forward to it. Its the best feeling in the world to know the student is looking forward to the lesson, to seeing me. Many groups are rough and there are some real jerks, but its all about those good lessons..I imagine its like that in teaching anything, bt it inspires me. There is a seven year old girl who looks forward to her lesson each week, dresses up for it and her mom is so grateful her daughter has found something she enjoys..it made me think, what if every lesson was like this? How can I reproduce this experience for every lesson of the week in whatever I end up doing? What do people look forward to? I enjoy working with people and bringing joy to their lives and this is pretty close. The horrible complaints and rough kids that mock me, and nasty ladies groups are not what I want, so its not easy. And Im sweating it out getting sick in the heat on public hardcourts and business has been declining for two years, which scares me..but I know I am not far from finding my calling/solution/success. I can't be far from it all. Must keep going.

    Yesterday was a weird day. Good first half. Went to the gym and then grocery shopping. This very sexy girl was shopping and I noticed her in the store. Then I noticed her a couple more times, and she even came up behind me in the self checkout lane. Eventually she went to another lane and I left the store..but slowly walked to my car..slowly put my groceries away waiting for the "opportunity" to talk to her. I even had my first line setup.."so, did you get ice cream?" Its a good time of year for that and fun topic. I decided to get in my car and drive off..chasing girls has done me no good and I think its the right move. Of course, as soon as I did I see her walking off. Its a tough thing..go up to girls in public, flirt get #s etc..or put it all down. Life seems to be passing by quickly and I tell myself "no regrets",but then I also know that old way of life never worked. I am sticking to the no dates, no #s for 90 days..and it may end up being 6 months on the advise of my sponsor..ugh. The journey continues.

    Stay the course..
  19. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    Another day no PMO. The heat is here, but it has not affected me too much as of yet, with sexual energy. I've been waking up with morning wood, but have not had many issues. Its my last week of intense work, with the kids clinics ending as school ends. Im looking forward to things cooling down a bit with that chaos, but a little worried about dead afternoons. Hopefully I'll fill afternoons with some kids lessons, and leave a couple free each week to hit the gym or play golf. Its not that bad of a life.

    Fathers day was ok. He was disappointed I didnt get him a card or have a gift ready, and he had a point. I must sound like a jerk but with a big family its so hard to be on top of all the birthdays and then add the holidays and I feel overwhelmed a bit. My dad and I have decent energy, but he's always gonna be in a bit of a bad mood, pessimistic and drinking, and I don't fight it all anymore.

    Funny, I got a friend request from this girl I was trying to pickup a little more than a year ago. Its when I was acting out. Shes married with a kid, but pretty hot and we had decent chemistry. I knew her from the past. Its probably nothing, but it took my darndest to not accept the request. I had a relationship with a married woman years ago and it was horrible..probably the worst thing I've done morally. I cannot ever forget the pain. Im proud of myself for not accepting that request.

    Stay the course..
  20. Hello Penis My Old Friend

    Hello Penis My Old Friend Well-Known Member

    Well done!
    Well done!

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