A new approach

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Pornfree Wanderer, Feb 7, 2019.

  1. Pornfree Wanderer

    Pornfree Wanderer New Member

    Hello all, I'm a 42 year old who has been addicted to porn since the age of 15-16 (sometime around there), starting with magazines and VHS tapes, graduating to the Internet, and eventually using escorts, phone sex lines, chat rooms and the like. I've been trying to quit for some time and have no trouble going a few days without porn, but have realised that willpower alone won't do it for me (I'm extremely weak willed).

    I'm now devising a system I can use that will make staying away from porn the "default option", with a morning routine that includes making my bed (more important than most realise), daily exercise, meditation and the latest addition, writing out my goals for the day. That sounds like a lot but it really doesn't take very long at all to do, and I believe will set me up for a good day. Exercise and eating a good diet are integral parts of any recovery, but I've been doing those for years anyway.

    What I really need to add to my recovery are consistency and accountability, hence the process of starting this journal here. For what it's worth, I was clean today, but failed dismally yesterday. Well, failure is in the eye of the beholder. Yesterday was a relapse, followed by an anger-fueled destruction of a porn collection. Was that really a failure? I prefer to view it as just a temporary set back from which I was able to grow. I have identified that yesterday's relapse was the result of wasting time chasing up a Facebook profile of someone I really should have moved on from by now. It was a silly error on my part, but it's a chance for me to learn from it.

    I got up this morning and wrote out some goals for 2019, along with my goals for today, then I went to Yoga.

    As early nights are now part of my new routine, I'll end this post here for now. I'll conclude with listing three things I'm grateful for:

    1. Having a good job with people I enjoy seeing each day.
    2. Having access to good quality food which allows me to take care of myself.
    3. My capacity for learning and growth. These things will enable me to continue to develop as a human being.
    Boxer17 likes this.
  2. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Hey, PW, welcome! At 42 years old you are well placed to rid yourself of this foul addiction. You have so much great living ahead of you. I wish I'd found this place at your age, but no matter, today is always a great day to be clean. :)

    Your system sounds good. I belief deeply in taking care of the little things, things like making our bed daily and attending to the minutiae around us.

    My only advice is be as active here as you can. Use the community to turn your life around.
    Boxer17 likes this.
  3. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Welcome PW! This is a great group of guys in which to gain insight and share with what's going on.

    What a good perspective. One step back and two forward is progress

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