A lost boy's journey through dark woods towards real manhood and integrity

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by titan_transcendence, Jul 22, 2016.

  1. titan_transcendence

    titan_transcendence Well-Known Member

    4th Day since last PMO

    Been 3 days clean now. It has been easy, because have been busy and quite social. Now the weekend looms before me and I have to take extra measures to push through it unscathed.

    This is very good advice, and I will plan my own list for sure!

    A New Man: this sounds like a good plan! I try to make schedule for the coming weekend and make it as habit to do so.

    Forlorn: You are right. Its not a good streak to have only few days and then relapse, because then one is stuck in the never-ending cycle of slight recovery-relapse. We must push harder to achieve distance to addiction and make the clean life the normality for us, without even thinking acting out every time something will put us down. I will read that link you shared with me, thanks for that!

    MissingSelfCompassion: Being kind to myself. That seems the hardest thing to do. Yet its something that needs to be learnt, important beyond measure. The negative thoughts are part of like second nature for some of us. We must learn not to mind about them. Let them blabber all they want, but not heed them. By focusing on now, and doing right things. Relapsing will not make us as a bad person. It just saps our energy and then our mood will plunge and those negative thoughts will gather strength. Therefore its important to avoid the tantalizing escape that addiction tries to entice us into..its a trap which will make only feel us worse than before.
  2. NewHorizon

    NewHorizon Member

    I dont wish to disrupt the thread but I need to do my best for this quote to remain burned into our psyche. This is what life is about.

    We often question ourselves "Am I cut to do this?" or "Do successful people are born that way?".

    Surely, there are certain character traits that facilitate certain endeavors. Ultimately though, anyone can achieve what they set to achieve.

    Through hard work, most things if not all are for the taking.
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2019
    titan_transcendence likes this.
  3. titan_transcendence

    titan_transcendence Well-Known Member

    Got huge hangover today, and that made me relapse, once again. At least I got 10 clean days before that this time. I did not PMO, only watched P and edged, so I did not deplete my energy so badly this time.

    I have been quite busy, feeling like really living my life now. I met a woman in dating site, single mother close to my age. Her child is close to be a teenager. Seen her few times now. She seems very nice, quite cute and attracted to me. :) Im not sure, what will come of this, but try to take things slowly and with ease. I hope to finally have sex at some time, but have not hurried that either. This woman could be good even for a relationship if things go down so smoothly than now. But many times the problems will emerge after some time have passed, so I will take one day at time.
    MissingSelfCompassion and Gil79 like this.
  4. forlorn

    forlorn Well-Known Member

    Quite a pattern emerging here. Could it be time for a different approach? Hangovers are classic relapse territory, our brains and bodies are at their weakest and are screaming out for a dopamine hit. Something that's working well for me at the moment is to set boundaries on how much I allow myself to drink. I'll stick to a max of 3-4 drinks at any one time, that means I still get to have fun but never put myself into a situation where I feel like hell the next day. Is this something you could consider?
    titan_transcendence likes this.
  5. titan_transcendence

    titan_transcendence Well-Known Member

    After my relapse I have been stuck in the pattern of more relapses and being in state of forgetfulness about the benefits of abstaining at all. Now I will recommit myself to struggle. I hope to finally achieve the state of awareness that I would not stray from the path for such a long time anymore.. :(
  6. titan_transcendence

    titan_transcendence Well-Known Member

    Relapsed again today. I have been self-sabotaging myself lately because of the fear of real intimacy. Have been meeting quite regularly with a woman who has been nothing but very kind and loving towards myself. It seems that subconsciously I do not believe myself to be worth of her attention. Also, I have been avoiding sex, settling to some snuggling and kissing. Some part of me understands nothing but familiar misery and is sure that nothing good will ever last.
    But I will try to change this behavior now. Why not give this possible relationship a change it deserves. Theres nothing to lose and so much to gain.
    MissingSelfCompassion likes this.
  7. Mad Dog

    Mad Dog Well-Known Member

    TT--- you certainly deserve. If you fail or you feel you fail it will be no different than what you have now. Go for it !
    titan_transcendence likes this.
  8. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    Seems like something really nice is developing here for you. Just take it easy. After being without a partner for such time, you also have to get used to it again. Enjoy it, don't overthink it, take enough time for yourself.
  9. MissingSelfCompassion

    MissingSelfCompassion Active Member

    @titan_transcendence Intimacy is a tough one for me, personally. My affair has really made things awkward with my partner, but I also wonder if this journey of ending PMO addiction is playing a part. I've realized that I must quit and I am ashamed that I used P. So now I'm punishing myself by not letting myself have sex?

    I hope all is well with you.

Share This Page