A lost boy's journey through dark woods towards real manhood and integrity

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by titan_transcendence, Jul 22, 2016.

  1. forlorn

    forlorn Member

    Sorry to sound like I'm being harsh but that is not a good streak. You need to hold yourself to a higher standard.

    Here's a really good insight about commitment from the Recovery Nation workshop:

    The single greatest predictor of success — be it in business, relationships, or in addiction recovery — is found in the sincerity of the commitment to succeed. Carve this in stone, tack it to your forehead, staple it to a chicken — should you fail to permanently recover from your addiction, it will be due to your inability to fully commit to recovery. That's not to say that you are without sincere guilt or sorrow, or that a part of you doesn't want to change. That's natural, and one of the first obstacles to overcome. But the fact remains that you will never recover from addiction — ever — without the desire to eliminate it permanently from your life.

    See what the author has to say about assessing your motivation to change. It's quite intensive but it is an amazing resource so I would recommend you read it.

  2. So, you didn't (after reading your edit) and started the next day. That's amazing. You are amazing.

    "Try to make this still a good day," is something I have been working so hard on doing. When I PMO, it destroys me for the day. The shame of it. If I wasn't looking at P for so long, I would have got x,y, and z done. I would have made new friends or not been so lonely. All of my problems are not a result of PMO. They're issues because I'm an imperfect human. Yes, I fucked up the other day, but what am I doing right now? This is what I'm trying to work on. It's really hard.

    I'm not lecturing, just sharing that I can relate. This last month has been so hard for me because regardless of how much I might tell myself to focus on now and what I can do instead of past fuck ups or future fears, I still hear those thoughts. I have to counter the negative stuff. If you trim a plant before you water it every time, growth might not be all that visible. It can seem overwhelming, but do your best to handle what you need to after reading this message or whatever is below, this message. Take care of the little moments. Please be kind to yourself @titan_transcendence. I'm thinking of you.
    titan_transcendence likes this.
  3. titan_transcendence

    titan_transcendence Well-Known Member

    4th Day since last PMO

    Been 3 days clean now. It has been easy, because have been busy and quite social. Now the weekend looms before me and I have to take extra measures to push through it unscathed.

    This is very good advice, and I will plan my own list for sure!

    A New Man: this sounds like a good plan! I try to make schedule for the coming weekend and make it as habit to do so.

    Forlorn: You are right. Its not a good streak to have only few days and then relapse, because then one is stuck in the never-ending cycle of slight recovery-relapse. We must push harder to achieve distance to addiction and make the clean life the normality for us, without even thinking acting out every time something will put us down. I will read that link you shared with me, thanks for that!

    MissingSelfCompassion: Being kind to myself. That seems the hardest thing to do. Yet its something that needs to be learnt, important beyond measure. The negative thoughts are part of like second nature for some of us. We must learn not to mind about them. Let them blabber all they want, but not heed them. By focusing on now, and doing right things. Relapsing will not make us as a bad person. It just saps our energy and then our mood will plunge and those negative thoughts will gather strength. Therefore its important to avoid the tantalizing escape that addiction tries to entice us into..its a trap which will make only feel us worse than before.
  4. NewHorizon

    NewHorizon Member

    I dont wish to disrupt the thread but I need to do my best for this quote to remain burned into our psyche. This is what life is about.

    We often question ourselves "Am I cut to do this?" or "Do successful people are born that way?".

    Surely, there are certain character traits that facilitate certain endeavors. Ultimately though, anyone can achieve what they set to achieve.

    Through hard work, most things if not all are for the taking.
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2019 at 7:29 PM

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