Day 9 First time thought about acting out this morning. Had quite good MW. Its understandable, because full sexual energy takes about 10 days to return. Now Im near it. Should I lose it in vain- of course not! Now its the time for resilience and determination. To think about it: every single acting out will cost you ten days of your life. To seriously weaken that life-force, masculine energy that is our birth-right. By losing it we will be lesser men, meek addicts with lots of self-hate and shame, with diminished self-confidence and awareness. The cost is way too high to fall into that pit of despair, to that vicious circle of self-abuse, remorse and slow recuperation until felling flat in the face again.. Not today! I will go to gym after eating some breakfast. Then, I will plan my day as it comes. I will read and reread the list I made yesterday to stay strong. Because now Im in battlefield and the enemy probes first time my defences. Wish me strength! I wish it too, all of you men struggling with this life- debilitating, soul-crushing addiction.