I did actually quite well today. It was full and busy day, with good social interaction with one friend, and going to gym, one arrangement and so on. The day was totally clean, without any P or self-soothing in wrong ways. Thanks Gil and MissingSelfCompassion for rooting me. Gil, you wrote wisely. Its not easy to see the slow gradual change of doing better. Its very easy to be impatient and want things to be better right away. You also wrote earlier about finding the Purpose. Thats very essential to one's mental health. MissingSelfCompassion, your words struck some right cord in me. You are right, why to put aside these obvious benefits Im now experiencing: silencing the defeating voice in my head and slowly feeling more energetic, not feeling dead-tired anymore every day? You are absolutely right, let the other things wait for tomorrow, for future. Everything in its due time. Maybe its time for me to learn to have little trust towards life, that things will sort out. My worrying about them will not change it any better, at all.