A group of 8 men [GROUP]

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by cadcard, Aug 23, 2012.

  1. cadcard

    cadcard Guest

    I'm looking to forum a support group here at this forum. What I envision is forming a small group of men that are serious about their recovery from this addiction; a group that supports all members. Since I'm 52, I see a group in the 40-60 yo age range to probably work the best since we would be of the same generation or there abouts.

    Solid recovery works when people support one another in close groups. I don't think I would want to pal around with a group of guys in actual physical presence due to the disgusting nature of the disease, but a virtual support group would be different.

    Guidelines and 'man rules' for the group would be established and needed to be adherred to. At least once a day attendance would be required when possible.

    I don't know if this is a novel concept on this forum, but it seems that it would be great aid in recovery. Post a message and PM me if you believ this is for you.
     
  2. cadcard

    cadcard Guest

    Re: A group of 8 men

    Bump. Don't be shy.
     
  3. ironworld

    ironworld New Member

    Re: A group of 8 men

    When I saw the thread title I have to say I was a little worried to click it! Lol.

    Anyway, isn't this forum exactly that? A support group for people of all ages with this addiction (it's not a disease).
     
  4. cadcard

    cadcard Guest

    Re: A group of 8 men

    I would say yes and no. Does anyone really know who ironworld really is? Does anyone know your triggers, your struggles etc?

    I see a group of 8 men that really get to know one another, learning about each other and keeping in close touch, as something more than just passive comments by whom ever. Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking this forum in any way, I;m very grateful for this forum, it just may be a novel way for holding a man accountable to a group of other men. As time goes by, I hope men would post comments to my threads, but if I were to fall off the wagon, I doubt anyone would really care. If I had a closer group of 'friends', I think I might be a lot more disciplined and much more apt to staying the course.
     
  5. ironworld

    ironworld New Member

    Re: A group of 8 men

    I see what you mean. Perhaps like an email group where everyone checks in once a week? It could be useful for those who are struggling with relapses and need extra support.
     
  6. JDoe

    JDoe No amount of pixels is ever gonna love you back...

    Re: A group of 8 men

    Count me in sir! I'm 41.

    I do see what ironworld was saying with "isn't this forum exactly that? A support group for people of all ages with this addiction (it's not a disease)." I immediately had the same thought. But I also see the value in a group of men holding each other accountable and checking in with one another daily. This affliction of our is a daily fight, so it totally makes sense to me.

    My only condition is that wherever we 'meet' on this forum - we don't go hide in some sort of digital enclave; i.e. the discussions must be open for anoyone else to view. I have gained many insights by reading the accounts of other men on this forum, and feel a strong need to give back. As long as our 'meetings' remain in the public space of this forum, I'm in.

    Great idea, by the way... and kudos for having the balls to put it out there. The least I can do is be the first man to step up to the plate with you! ;)
     
  7. cadcard

    cadcard Guest

    Re: A group of 8 men

    Right on. It's a concept of AA or any of the other addiction recovery groups. People that are serious about the recovery of their addiction stand a much better chance of success if they hang with a group of recovering people. This allows the group to really get to know you; the help and support is that much deeper vs. just hanging around on the fringe, passively coming and going.
     
  8. cadcard

    cadcard Guest

    Re: A group of 8 men

    JDOE,
    I don't propose a secret discussion of any type amoungst the group. I see it as an open thread discussion for all to view, but a closed discussion for just the men of the group. It could prove to be a path finding type project in that it may motivate other men to start their own groups.

    So if ironworld and you are in, I have another guy that's in his mid to late forties that is interested as well. We'd already have 4 guys.

    Let's talk about this more. Hopefully a few more guys will be interested.
     
  9. JDoe

    JDoe No amount of pixels is ever gonna love you back...

    Re: A group of 8 men

    Thanks for the clarification mate. I am in then! My intention is to get on this site daily anyway to write in my jornal (unless I happen to be someplace with no access...which is highly unlikely in this day and age!)

    Looking forward to the journey with you men!
     
  10. cadcard

    cadcard Guest

    Re: A group of 8 men

    Welcome aboard JDOE. I look forward to strong recovery with your help and I hope my help will prove beneficial to you as well.

    When we have found enough men to start the group we will need to establish 'man rules' for the group. I would propose man rule #1 being - TOTAL HONESTY.
     
  11. cadcard

    cadcard Guest

    Re: A group of 8 men

    Any one else in? Please read the entire thread before accepting. Thanks.
     
  12. JDoe

    JDoe No amount of pixels is ever gonna love you back...

    Re: A group of 8 men

    Fully agree on rule #1. Honored to walk with you on this journey.
    Proposal for rule #2: "No giving advice unless a man asks for it. If he doesn't ask for advice, assume by default that he just wants to be heard."
     
  13. herecticx

    herecticx New Member

    Re: A group of 8 men

    Count me in.
     
  14. JDoe

    JDoe No amount of pixels is ever gonna love you back...

    Re: A group of 8 men

    Right on herectix!
    Only 3 slots left (?)...guys better hurry.
    Limited time offer.
    Some restrictions may apply... :p
     
  15. Mystery

    Mystery New Member

    Re: A group of 8 men

    Ahahaha... The "scarcity" persuasion technique.

    You got me. I am 43 years old and in.

    I like the idea of 8 guys in a similar age range. The smaller group helps us to get to know each other better and the age range hints that we may have similar life experiences that lead up to, and are currently facing while, rebooting.

    As word spreads, I forsee this entire forum getting vastly larger, which may make it useful to allow us to have smaller groups for many reasons. Other forums also make subgroups when they get larger. In our case, age range subgroups may help as the forum grows.
     
  16. herecticx

    herecticx New Member

    Re: A group of 8 men

    im a little excited, we'll be exclusive :p

    888 bitchez! 8)
     
  17. cadcard

    cadcard Guest

    Re: A group of 8 men

    This sounds good to me. What say the other group of 8 men members?

    Are there anyother suggestions for man rules? I propose there must be a 100% agreement to any changes to the man rules, after they are established. No one should be uncomfortable with a change. This may be a bit premature, but how does this sound?
     
  18. cadcard

    cadcard Guest

    Re: A group of 8 men

    So far, the group is:

    JDOE
    herwcticx
    Mystery
    cadcard
    one possible participant that's on vacation, but I'm not sure if he absolutely wants in
    ironworld, are you in?
     
  19. JDoe

    JDoe No amount of pixels is ever gonna love you back...

    Re: A group of 8 men

    Absolutely agreed!
    Perhaps a rule about commitment to 'showing up.' I understand every man may have a different schedule/ability to attend (daily, every other day, weekly...) and I have no problem with that. My request would be that whatever commitment a man makes about attendance, he stick to it. If something comes up (this is life; stuff comes up!) and he can't check in - he lets the rest of the group know what is going on.

    Another propsed rule: We are here to support each other. That is the foundation of everything else. This is not a forum for laying our judgments on anyone but ourselves. Every man should feel safe to speak his mind, and this should be done in an atmosphere of mutual respect. If a man slips or relapses, we don't hold a verbal 'blanket party.' ;) We help him get back on his feet, if he chooses that as his way forward. If he does not, that is his choice. He is free to make it, and it will be respected.

    What say ye?
     
  20. Mystery

    Mystery New Member

    Re: A group of 8 men

    Sounds good JDoe.

    At least weekly "showing up." Although I hope to participate more often.

    I also really like supporting each other without judgment.

    Another proposed rule: These rules are subject to change based on the wants, needs, and desired of the group.
     

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