A Fun Journal

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by trapped7, Jan 18, 2013.

  1. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    Second that!

    LOL :D Nice to have you and your humor back here!
     
  2. trapped7

    trapped7 "what you resist persists"

    Thanks man.

    Nutrition 4/10
    Exercise 3/10
    Mindfulness 5/10
    Proactiveness 6/10
    Authenticity 7/10
    Addictive behaviour 3/10
    Avoidant behaviour 7/10
    Improving skills 1/10
    Moving towards better health 5/10
     
    Gil79 likes this.
  3. trapped7

    trapped7 "what you resist persists"

    The way I see it, something like at least 90% percent of what we all are doing everyday is completely nuts.
    More so even we are not careful. At least as far as I'm concerned.

    examples:
    - working 40 hours in a job that doesn't match our talents
    - spending hours in the internet everyday, looking at a screen.
    - looking at our smartphones on the train, or anywhere else, while there is other people next to us we could interact with
    - eating tons of sugar and junk food which is guaranteed to make us unhealthy
    - drinking lots of alcohol, the legal drug, to try and forget our problems for a moment
    - drinking lots of caffeine, which prevents the natural calming compounds in the body to take effect
    - watching hours of tv series instead of socialising with others
    - dating on the internet or the phone, instead of talking to people
    - watchin P instead of connecting with someone
    - not exercising and sleeping and then thinking some medicine will fix our problem

    I could go on and on. Seems like our western society is wired for much of this.
    Most of these behaviours seem perfectly normal and are well accepted by the majority. Seems most don't even consider the insanity that's so obvious if you think about it.

    If you want to do otherwise, even though the system is too a large extent stacked against you, takes quite a lot of courage and effort.

    Nutrition 7/10
    Exercise 8/10
    Mindfulness 6/10
    Proactiveness 7/10
    Authenticity 8/10
    Addictive Behaviour 2/10
    Avoidant Behaviour 5/10
    Improving skills 1/10
    Moving towards better health 7/10
     
    Gil79 likes this.
  4. trapped7

    trapped7 "what you resist persists"

    Nutrition 7/10
    Exercise 8/10
    Mindfulness 6/10
    Proactiveness 7/10
    Authenticity 8/10
    Addictive Behaviour 2/10
    Avoidant Behaviour 5/10
    Improving Skills 7/10
    Moving towards better health 7/10
     
    Gil79 and Bezoechow like this.
  5. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    Half a year ago you were really deprived of sleep and energy. How is that now?
     
  6. trapped7

    trapped7 "what you resist persists"

    Gil, I was acutally more than just deprive of sleep and energy. I had symptoms so bad I wasn't sure how to continue.
    That part is better now.

    As for sleeping, I can at least sleep a few hours. I still have some symptoms and not that much energy, but at least I can manage do get through the day alright.
    Working on getting more energy and hopefully better sleep by living a more healthy life style now.

    Nutrition 7/10
    Exercise 5/10
    Mindfulness 4/10
    Proactiveness 4/10
    Authenticity 6/10
    Addictive Behaviour 3/10
    Avoidant Behaviour 7/10
    Improving Skills 4/10
    Taking steps to move towards better health 5/10
     
  7. trapped7

    trapped7 "what you resist persists"

    Nutrition 8/10
    Exercise 5/10
    Mindfulness 5/10
    Proactiveness 6/10
    Authenticity 7/10
    Addictive Behaviour 2/10
    Avoidant Behaviour 6/10
    Improving Skills 4/10
    Taking steps towards better health 7/10
     
  8. trapped7

    trapped7 "what you resist persists"

    Got a cold which is part of the reason some stats went down.
    Some however are unaffected by this, and I would like to improve in those areas.
    Being mindful throughout the day is certainly not easy.
    Neither are others of these, but all the more important.

    Nutrition 4/10
    Exercise 4/10
    Mindfulness 6/10
    Proactiveness 4/10
    Authenticity 8/10
    Addictive Behaviour 3/10
    Avoidant Behaviour 5/10
    Improving Skills 4/10
    Taking Steps Towards better health 5/10
     
    Gil79 likes this.
  9. trapped7

    trapped7 "what you resist persists"

    Nutrition 4/10
    Exercise 3/10
    Mindfulness 3/10
    Proactiveness 4/10
    Authenticity 6/10
    Addictive Behaviour 8/10
    Avoidant Behaviour 7/10
    Improving skills 5/10
    Taking steps towards better health 2/10
     
  10. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    I see that you're struggling a bit more the last 2 days. On the other hand, maybe there are also some other aspects of your life that are going better but which are not on the list? It is important to look at ourselves through positive glasses.

    Can you explain what you mean with authenticity?

    Keep on going!
     
  11. trapped7

    trapped7 "what you resist persists"

    After a few days of going down the curve I'm doing better again.

    Nutrition 4/10
    Exercise 10/10
    Mindfulness 5/10
    Proactiveness 7/10
    Authenticity 8/10
    Addictive Behaviour 2/10
    Avoidant Behaviour 4/10
    Improving skills 7/10
    Taking steps towards better health 7/10


    Gil, Maybe there are some other aspects. For now I'd like to keep that list not too long. I have to say this one of the more helpful techniques I've come across in quite a while.
    Certainly helps me to identify what I can do better during the day. Also, it's not that easy to improve all of these at the same time. Some of it is synergistic, but other things require time, so setting some priorities is necessary.

    Authenticity - not pretending to feel different than I do and social interactions. It's a good question, and I'm sure there' a much deeper level where I'm maybe not as authentic as I'd like to be.
    However I consider this one of my strengths for sure.
     
  12. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    Interesting. Will digest this a bit before falling asleep. Kind of in same line as my approval awareness: when I am not affected by the opinion of others, I am can be authentic... ?
     
  13. trapped7

    trapped7 "what you resist persists"

    Nutrition 3/10
    Exercise 0/10
    Mindfulness 3/10
    Proactiveness 2/10
    Authenticity 6/10
    Addictive Behaviour 10/10
    Avoidant Behaviour 10/10
    Improving skills 2/10
    Taking steps towards better health 1/10


    After a few days of no acting out I ignored all the reasons why I am doing this and quickly fell to the depths of acting out.
    The result; no energy, no interest, no motivation.

    First step, stay away from it and take mini steps in the right direction.
     
  14. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    Indeed mini steps. Get those numbers up!
     
  15. trapped7

    trapped7 "what you resist persists"

    Is it possible to find a way forward?

    I am facing many challenges, and I don't know exactly how to move forward.
    And sometimes I ask myself why I should even try.

    Yet I came back here, because I need to change something.

    On the positive side, I came out one the other end of my terrifying symptoms which I had to endure for over a year and my health is better.
    It's not great, and I feel I can improve if I can balance my neurochemistry again - but boy it's for sure better.

    They call it Day 0.
    I'll give it s ahot.
     
    Gil79 likes this.
  16. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    Great to hear your health is better. Any idea what was the cause?
     
  17. trapped7

    trapped7 "what you resist persists"

    Acted out again, several times in a row even though I had every intention to do otherwise.

    But the intention is not enough, is it. Sometimes I doubt if I'll ever be able to recover from this well enough.
    I have been able to go for days, weeks and a much longer streak twice but I keep ending up where I start it seems.

    It requires a profound change in lifestyle to improve.
    One thing I have been good at over the past couple of months was exercise, both aerobic and resistance training.

    But what is ultimately much more important in recovery is what not to do. The addiction isn't about PMO.

    It's about overdoing instant reward inducing activities. The reward pathways in our brain has screwed up by our insane culture.
    It would be natural having to put in a lot effort in order to get the reward pathways activated.

    In the culture surrounding us however, almost everything is about instant gratification. internet browsing for content, fast food and junk food, High-Speed PMO with endless content and novelty, video games, blitz chess (for me).
    Why then, says the brain, should even try to engage in anything that requires effort? The reward is already there - and more than the brain can handle.

    This is I believe the core of the issue.

    Unplugging is hard, especially if you have a lot of freedom, like me.

    To be continued.

    Gil, I am quite sure that a number of supplements caused a severe imbalance in the body. I'd never have thought supplements would be able to do this so it was very hard to pinpoint down. On the upside I can appreciate the absence of these symptoms in a way most people can't imagine.
     
  18. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    I think that it really essential to find something you can really go for. A project of some kind. Something that bleaches your addiction and makes it super tiny and insignificant, even if you act out. I don't believe that much in rebooting anymore. Any day without porn is a day that you're not an addict. Keep on doing the things that make you tick, or otherwise find them. I hope that now you found out what caused your more recent health problems, you have the energy to adapt to such mindset.
     
  19. trapped7

    trapped7 "what you resist persists"

    Day 3

    It's important to take control of our minds these days and to focus on the present moment.

    Marcus Aurelius says:
    “You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”

    Gil,
    Thanks I am trying to find what that is right now.
     
    Gil79 likes this.
  20. trapped7

    trapped7 "what you resist persists"

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