for my history, see this link http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=664.0 it's been four days since i've looked at porn/ fetish images/videos or masturbated. last time i viewed porn and masturbated was may 9, 2012. the longest i've gone so far without relapsing is about 1 month, which afterwards i had a full relapse. so how do i feel you ask? well, i had some particularly hard morning wood this morning, which definitly isn't the norm when i was masturbating and viewing porn daily or every other day. my mood, GREAT! which is usually how i feel when i skip a day of masturbation and porn, but it feels like it builds up when i go multiple days without it. my kundalini yoga practice and its many physo-emotio-mental benifits have probably also been helping in this arena. my only problems so far have been having to block out sexual images and fantasies of fat girls that pop into my head. i have tried to place a mental 'under reconstruction' sign in front of my sexual organs in my imagination that i show myself every time an erotic thought enters my head, reminding me that i am in the process of 'remodeling' my bodies response system to better serve my need to be a healthy happy human being, and that the area need not be disturbed during this time so that the 'reconstruction' can take place as efficiently as possible. this has been effective thus far in getting these fantasy images to leave my head. i'm enthusiastic about my journey ahead, and look forward to enjoying the many pleasures of personal restraint as opposed to the shallow pleasures of indulgence that drain my mind and leaves negative after-effects, such as tiredness, dullness and a feeling of being hollow that i often get after masturbating, especially to porn. my goal is 3 months at least, and perhaps further if i haven't achieved satisfactory results in the time i have alloted myself. my goal is to once again have spontaneous firm erections, or at least erections stimulated by actual women i am seeing or touching as opposed to porn induced or self induced erections. with the higher goal being having a healthy and meaningful, mental-emotional-spiritual-and sexual relationship with a woman...somthing i have never had the pleasure to have.