a chubby chaser's journey through and beyond fetish related ED

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by amixon6, May 13, 2012.

  1. amixon6

    amixon6 New Member

    for my history, see this link
    http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=664.0

    it's been four days since i've looked at porn/ fetish images/videos or masturbated.
    last time i viewed porn and masturbated was may 9, 2012. the longest i've gone so far without relapsing is about 1 month, which afterwards i had a full relapse.

    so how do i feel you ask?
    well, i had some particularly hard morning wood this morning, which definitly isn't the norm when i was masturbating and viewing porn daily or every other day.
    my mood, GREAT! which is usually how i feel when i skip a day of masturbation and porn, but it feels like it builds up when i go multiple days without it. my kundalini yoga practice and its many physo-emotio-mental benifits have probably also been helping in this arena.

    my only problems so far have been having to block out sexual images and fantasies of fat girls that pop into my head. i have tried to place a mental 'under reconstruction' sign in front of my sexual organs in my imagination that i show myself every time an erotic thought enters my head, reminding me that i am in the process of 'remodeling' my bodies response system to better serve my need to be a healthy happy human being, and that the area need not be disturbed during this time so that the 'reconstruction' can take place as efficiently as possible. this has been effective thus far in getting these fantasy images to leave my head.

    i'm enthusiastic about my journey ahead, and look forward to enjoying the many pleasures of personal restraint as opposed to the shallow pleasures of indulgence that drain my mind and leaves negative after-effects, such as tiredness, dullness and a feeling of being hollow that i often get after masturbating, especially to porn.



    my goal is 3 months at least, and perhaps further if i haven't achieved satisfactory results in the time i have alloted myself.

    my goal is to once again have spontaneous firm erections, or at least erections stimulated by actual women i am seeing or touching as opposed to porn induced or self induced erections. with the higher goal being having a healthy and meaningful, mental-emotional-spiritual-and sexual relationship with a woman...somthing i have never had the pleasure to have.
     
  2. amixon6

    amixon6 New Member

    i have masturbated for the past 3 days and looked at porn today. FAIL! start over.
     
  3. Laurynas

    Laurynas 300 Days+ Experienced.

    Why do you want this? (If you do).
     
  4. amixon6

    amixon6 New Member

    i don't want this. waking up with hard morning wood made me want to masturbate really bad and i gave in. and i geuss made up excuses like 'well you fucked up, might as well have fun before you restart your reboot" which eventually led to looking at sum fat porn...i need more strength, i know. this is not acceptable to myself or my goals.
     
  5. Laurynas

    Laurynas 300 Days+ Experienced.

    Why do you want to quit this addiction? It seems normal to whatsoever 90 percent of the planet?
     
  6. amixon6

    amixon6 New Member

    because my penis doesn't respond the way it is naturally intended anymore to actual women in real life. my penis doesn't get hard spontaneously or when laying in bed naked with an amzingly beautiful woman anymore, nor does it get as hard as it used to. and because i'd like to conserve my sexual energy as to be transmuted as power into other activities when i am not sexually active.
     
  7. Laurynas

    Laurynas 300 Days+ Experienced.

    Now when you have an urge to PMO read your post again, you'll know why do you want to do this, it helps. ;)
     
  8. amixon6

    amixon6 New Member

    :) thankyou
     

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