A Better Tomorrow

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by NewStart19, Aug 12, 2019.

  1. NewStart19

    NewStart19 Well-Known Member

    Day 3 is coming to a close. No slips or relapses.
    -Luke- likes this.
  2. NewStart19

    NewStart19 Well-Known Member

    Relapsed last night. It was a binge. Mostly porn with some fantasy. This is a more common pattern with me these days and it's an improvement. I realize almost every time that I will just drag the session on and on and am able to successfully transition to MO with fantasy. Yes it is harder to ejaculate and stay fully erect with fantasy, but at least it ends the session sooner then if I continued to look at porn.

    Gotta say I feel good with being transparent. I want this to be the case every time I relapse. Still wish it didn't happen though.

    Take care
  3. Shady

    Shady Active Member

    Sorry to hear.
    Keep going
    Thelongwayhome27 and NewStart19 like this.
  4. NewStart19

    NewStart19 Well-Known Member


    Thanks. Hopefully I get things together enough where I start getting some significant time away, much like you have been doing. Wishing you continued success.
    Shady likes this.
  5. Thelongwayhome27

    Thelongwayhome27 Well-Known Member

    That's a good point I think. Better to finish it quick then to drag on with an edge. The lesser evil.

    I think this is a good decision.

    Keep your head up ! We're all in this together (cheesy, but so damn true).
    NewStart19 likes this.
  6. Shady

    Shady Active Member

    @NewStart19 You're still thinking about numbers.
    Don't think how long you've been PMO clean
    Just focus on staying strong.
    NewStart19 likes this.
  7. TrueSelf

    TrueSelf Active Member

    @NewStart19 Sorry to hear about the slip. Nice work on the transparency with reported it immediately.

    I wanted to offer something that has helped me a bit when thinking about urges (likely very obvious - but wanted to share nonetheless). The idea is related to weight loose/gain but I feel it applies to most changes that people want to make. When people try to change their body type they will face discomfort. People's bodies want to stay the same. If people want to loose weight they will experience hunger. If they try to gain weight they will feel periods of being too full. Likewise with PMO. Our bodies do not want to give up that dopamine high from PMO. Expect to face some discomfort but also know that this is a sign that you are changing.
    NewStart19 likes this.
  8. NewStart19

    NewStart19 Well-Known Member

    Day 3 - Start

    Been clean since my last post.

    Take care
  9. NewStart19

    NewStart19 Well-Known Member

    Another one of those waking up in the middle of the night relapses. It's strange to me because these really haven't plagued me for a while, and I haven't been fantasizing before going to bed (or in general for that matter). This time was a bit worse than the last, because I forgot to turn off my IADs last evening, which is something that I could've done but didn't. Oh well. The result? 45m of porn; started around 1:15 AM and finished around 2:00 AM. Went back to bed after.

    Now I am dealing with the post relapse slump that is always there to greet me the next day. I'll just have to keep my head up.

    Take care
  10. Living

    Living Well-Known Member

    Do you think there is a moment between waking up and going all out where you are clear enough to steer away? If so, perhaps the ambient sleepcasts on Headspace might be something to deal with these instances. They are really relaxing and can bring you right back to sleep. It means you have to keep your phone by your bedside though, which I can imagine is not preferable.
    NewStart19 likes this.
  11. NewStart19

    NewStart19 Well-Known Member


    Thanks for the recommendation. I need to go check them out.


    Day 2 - Start

    Let's do it
    Living likes this.
  12. NewStart19

    NewStart19 Well-Known Member

    Day 3- Start

    I slept in somewhat today. Hopefully I can still get enough done.
  13. NewStart19

    NewStart19 Well-Known Member

    Relapsed again. I'm keeping cool though. Duration: 50m (30m porn, 20m fantasy).

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