A Better Tomorrow

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by NewStart19, Aug 12, 2019.

  1. NewStart19

    NewStart19 Well-Known Member

    Violating my IAD cutoff time just to post this and let those who read this topic know I made it through today relapse-free.

    Take care
    positivef, Shady, Living and 4 others like this.
  2. Living

    Living Well-Known Member

    Awesome! I think doing things like these can really help us. I've come across several articles on Greater Good that discusses the science behind this. It's an interesting thing:)
    NewStart19 likes this.
  3. NewStart19

    NewStart19 Well-Known Member

    Yikes. Relapsed with a sizeable binge (still better than my old normal, but definitely long compared to my more recent relapses). Overall, I think I'm mentally ok, but physically I feel pretty crappy. My brain is currently a numb slush.

    It seems that @Living and @Thelongwayhome27 may have put the board behind them. I hope that if that's what's best for them, they keep doing it. I took a break for a few weeks, for different reasons I'd say but perhaps there are some points of commonality. Anyway, wishing them the best. Glad to see @-Luke- and @nuclpow still posting. Also nice to see some of the more recent posters (and returning older posters) as well as brand new members participating on the forums. I never spoke with @trapped7, but his seemingly final post made me feel nice when reading it. Wishing him the best too. There's something heartwarming reading about people who are getting better in their own ways and flying the coop so to speak. Gotta see what @Gil79 is up too. And @Pete McVries has probably become a figurative celestial being who has become one with sexual mastery and reached sexual nirvana haha. Sorry for the rambling. I took 30 mg of my roomates' diazepam (valium), which I hardly ever take, and my cognitive and emotional faculties are feeling skewed, but not necessarily in a bad sense. I just want to fall asleep earlier than normal so I can hopefully better deal with the demands of tomorrow.

    Man, the process of recovery has been a drawn-out, arduous affair. But I've gotten a lot better about looking at the long-term and getting better at slowly learning and optimizing my more recent efforts to gradually become comparatively better than my old baseline. For long-term, severe porn addicts, this is something indispensably important. It's like a war of attrition for those repeatedly fighting the cycle of relapse and remission, but it can be won. The beckoning of despair and hopelessness is a sham that prevents us from doing our all (however limited that may or may not be) to create more and more of a wedge between our addiction and the people we want to become. It's true there are people who are addicts for life. But I don't have to be. None of us has to be. We gotta keep learning and develop more resolve. I'm gonna love the time that I can tell the people of this community that I did it: I made the impossible possible. And I might just inspire someone else to step up their game and really get the ball rolling to get this destructive habit out of their lives.

    I think it's still nice to have the forums in my life, but I am not sure how I want to use them from here on. But I think I am okay with not having any definite plan or schedule. To be honest, it was nice just knowing I had a place to go to post-relapse, to share with others who have struggled or still struggle with this problem. I'm pretty zombified right now, and the tasks I didn't get done today are going to be heaped upon what I have to do tomorrow. But at least I posted, and it feels worth it.

    Maybe from now on, I'll try to post miscellaneous thoughts, experiences, hopes, observations, etc. It's interesting how each time I come back to the forums, I want to reengage in posting but the approach keeps changing. Maybe it parallels the slow evolution of my recovery and its related efforts. But my mind is too incoherent for further reflection at the moment. We all deserve some type of love and compassion to further progress down the path of sobriety. Be smart and never give up hope in spite of the setbacks and difficulties. I sure won't, and I hope that inspires at least one other person to successfully overcome this detrimental habit.

    My mind is pretty out of it at this point, and I think I am struggling to say something profound. Unfortunately I took 10 more mg of valium, so things are going to get even more incoherent. I think we all deserve higher degrees of happiness, which is ultimately pretty subjective when it comes to the individual, but one surefire way to boost this, or more specifically well-being, is to make consistent strides in dealing with this addiction or any addiction. The road to doing so will differ for all of us, but there are tailor-made, ever-changing solutions out there that do work, and they often demand considerable compromises in other areas of our lives. It's up to us to find them.

    I beseech you all to never give up. There's a way out, in spite of all the failures, setbacks, rationales, emotions, etc. Deliverance is in the cards. We just have to keep consistently observing, analyzing and optimizing to make our efforts repeatedly manifest and progressively change the subjective character of our experience. You deserve better, as do those that care about you, want to you be well, and even those you meet with out in the public sphere who could benefit from the positive experience that you can add to their lives.

    Work hard, live well, and improve the quality of your conscious experience. We all deserve it. Both a better tomorrow and a better future.

    Take care
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2020
  4. -Luke-

    -Luke- Well-Known Member

    Hey @NewStart19. I was pleased to see your name in the New posts list. Great post! I also feel that I need a break from the forum from time to time. Seems like this time most of us took a break (or are still taking one) at the same time.
    Pete McVries and NewStart19 like this.
  5. NewStart19

    NewStart19 Well-Known Member


    Thanks for stopping by! The road to recovery is always morphing, developing new peaks, valleys and contours. I think taking a break from, coming back to, and perhaps ultimately leaving the forums is part of that. But I'm happy you're still around, and I am glad you read my rambling post haha! I just looked it over right now, and there were plenty of grammatical typos and errors that I needed to fix. I'm not too familiar with benzodiazepenes, but taking 40mg of valium was a lot of for me. Definitely helped me sleep early and avoid the immediate fallout of the binge, but boy did I sleep in, and man did I not go over what I wrote. Oh well, I hit the ground running today and am doing what I need to get caught up. Hopefully, I'm able to balance things out.

    Wishing you all the best Luke. Hope you are still benefiting from the RN workshop you mentioned in your topic, that you're loving you new hobbies, and most importantly, congratulations on finding the resolve to do what you want to do with your life. It's a big decision, but starting you own business must be terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. Best of luck!
    Gil79 likes this.
  6. catchingup

    catchingup Active Member

    hi @NewStart19 beautiful post yesterday!!!

    "I'm gonna love the time that I can tell the people of this community that I did it: I made the impossible possible." ♥

    That is my fantasy lol. I dedicated my life to porn and I was not happy or free. My porn owned me, I didn't have a life. I was enslaved. That's no way to live. :cool:
    NewStart19 likes this.
  7. NewStart19

    NewStart19 Well-Known Member


    Thanks for coming in and posting in my topic.

    Not sure how long you've been grappling with this addiction, but I've been doing it for countless years, still haven't given up and am still making progress in my own way.

    Remember, fantasy is an escape from reality. No need for your recovery to live in the realm of the imagined. I hope your struggle from here on is short and easy, but it might be long and difficult. Either way, please don't ever forget that there's a way out. Learn what advice from other members works for you by testing it out in your life, maybe read some books, watch informative videos, insert new activities (and rules) into your life, be consistent with what works and leave behind (or maybe sometimes even revisit at later stages) what didn't work. Living the life we want to live is in the cards, but that requires us to let go of the comforting embrace of fantasy and fully take in the joys, and pains, of reality.

    Wishing you the best.

    Take care
    Pete McVries and catchingup like this.
  8. catchingup

    catchingup Active Member

    @NewStart19 I love all of your words, you write in a very comforting way! thank you!
    Pete McVries and NewStart19 like this.
  9. NewStart19

    NewStart19 Well-Known Member


    You're welcome. Best of luck with your journey!


    To anyone who's interested, I recently learned of a way to customize the layout of both the homepage of YouTube and the page for a video you are currently watching. For those of you who are concerned about being potentially triggered by arousing content displayed on the homepage or the up next/related videos shown on the right of a video you are currently watching, there is a fantastic extension available called Stylish which can completely remove potentially triggering content. If you are comfortable adding extensions to your browser, I highly recommend it. Not just for decreasing your chances of being triggered online but also to avoid being sucked into the black hole of Youtube time-wasting or procrastination. To my knowledge, it can only be used on Chrome and Firefox, but it may also be available for other browsers.

    To start, download the appropriate extension for your browser (Chrome and Firefox). Then, go to this link and scroll down to the section titled Option 3 (or use Ctrl F on Windows or Command (⌘) F on Mac and type in Option 3) and follow the steps as written.

    Once done, you will notice in the upper right corner of your browser an icon representing the extension. On Firefox, it’ll look like this (the extension is circled in red):

    Annotation 2020-08-12 175237.png

    By clicking the extension, a box will drop down. If you don’t have any style installed (i.e. no custom page layouts for the page(s) you’re visiting), it’ll look something like this:

    Annotation 2020-08-10 212245.png

    If you followed the steps for Option 3 that I mentioned earlier, and you are on YouTube’s homepage, your custom layout will make it look like this:

    Annotation 2020-08-10 212002.png

    Pretty sparse right? But it still gives you the essentials: you can search for videos with the bar on the left and can login (or access your channel if you’re logged in) by clicking on the button to the right of the screen.

    If you click on the Stylish extension now, a box should drop down that looks like this:

    Annotation 2020-08-10 212315.png

    If for whatever reason, you want to return the homepage to its default layout, just click the blue bar (circled in red) to disable your custom one. You can always re-enable it if you want (by clicking it again) to restore your custom layout.

    What about pages where you watch the videos themselves? Once again, assuming you followed the steps laid out in Option 3, they’ll look something like this:

    Annotation 2020-08-10 212142.png

    With this layout, all up next/related videos and comments will not be displayed. Incredible, right?

    Like with the homepage, if you do want to re-enable the normal layout, just click the extension in the upper right corner and toggle active off

    Annotation 2020-08-10 212336.png

    And that's it. Hope someone finds this useful. It’s great for both people who are and aren’t addicted to porn.

    Take care everyone. Best of luck with your recovery journeys!
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2020
    positivef and -Luke- like this.
  10. NewStart19

    NewStart19 Well-Known Member

    I think in some shape or form, my inability to stay clean stems (at least in part) from an inability to truly accept the discomfort of recovery. True, a purely white-knuckle approach will most likely lead to failure, but I think I have also been running away from the fact that sobriety means not just once or twice, but on many occasions and for indefinite durations I will have to suffer through some type of awful discomfort. I'm in the thick of it right now, and the last two days have been clear examples of the suffering that comes with this journey. It's tough. It'll continue to be tough. But true commitment is when you stick to something even during the worst of times. Acute urges and withdrawals are going to be part of the picture for a few weeks. I am learning to live with that.
    positivef and Pete McVries like this.
  11. Pete McVries

    Pete McVries Well-Known Member

    It's truly a process of maturation. Taking responsibilites for the problems and tasks in our lives. We may not be at fault for having them but we are responsible for finding solutions for them. Otherwise we remain victims.

    Stay strong!
    NewStart19 likes this.
  12. NewStart19

    NewStart19 Well-Known Member

    @Pete McVries

    Thanks for stopping by and posting. I was feeling some pretty terrible urges and withdrawals when I saw your post, but reading it took a bit of the edge off. Every little thing helps. I'm grateful you're still around to help out some of the stragglers.

    But I'm definitely tired of being a victim. All the same old lies, rationalizations and excuses, and for what? To drink from the same stream of poison and get sick all over again? I've been in the same hell of relapse and remission for over a decade. Enough is enough.
    Pete McVries likes this.
  13. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    I think commitment is a good thing, but in the context of not acting out I find it an empty term. When we decide to be committed to not act out, we're in a completely different dimension then when we're in the emotional turmoil where we think we really need it. At that moment we need the escape or we need it to replace something else. What does the commitment mean at such moment? It is just an empty term in my opinion. I think that we should be committed to do (instead of not do something) the things that bring us closer to our goals. Quitting porn is so difficult for so many reasons that we should not go 'all-in' on just quitting porn. We have to keep living our lives as well, and when we work on ourselves, we can see that slowly the need to watch porn will decrease. Am I just saying this because I am weak, and still addicted after being on this board for so long? Maybe. But I am also feeling way better than 10 years ago. I also liked to read what @-Luke- wrote the other day. Despite acting out here and there, he was able to keep up with his physical excercises and meditations. Change is always slow, but time goes fast, and when you do a little bit of improvement every day, before you know it, you look back and see that you're in a way better place than where you were before. Keep going, you're doing a really good job here!
    positivef and NewStart19 like this.
  14. NewStart19

    NewStart19 Well-Known Member


    Hey, it's those who have been addicted for a long time and either recovered, gotten a lot better, or haven't give up that resonate more with me. I've been battling with this problem for years and years. Those that beat it their first time or after a few relapses, while admirable, just don't know what it's like to be beaten down by the addiction time and time again. I'm not saying they don't have useful advice. I myself have learned some great things from individuals like that. But I'm grateful that people who have struggled more like I have are willing to give me their advice as well.

    One thing with me (and this may not be clear from this topic alone) is that breaking say the one month mark is an exceedingly rare occurrence. What this means is that the cycle of relapse and remission at its worst, with all the heightened urges and withdrawals, has been my normal state of existence for what seems like an eternity (also take into account that I am a Binge addict, with a capital B). I agree with you that tackling our lives in other important arenas and making consistent progress is important. But commitment to not acting out--as you phrased it--is something that is really important to me as well. It's not the whole story to be sure, but I need to reach escape velocity to get out of the seemingly nonstop limbo of acute withdrawals. And I think I will.

    As always, thanks for stopping by and giving me some much needed encouragement. I've been taking this really seriously so far: no porn, substitutes, masturbation, orgasm, ogling, intentional arousal searches, or intentional fantasy (well, more honestly close to 0 on this one: I have probably intentionally fantasized somewhere around a combined total of 20 seconds since my last relapse, but I find keeping this number as low as possible really helps).

    Take care
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  15. NewStart19

    NewStart19 Well-Known Member

    Still hanging in there. I have no expectations for what will happen in the future. I just keep trying to do what I can to deal with the present moment. This has been very helpful so far. If I had to attribute this to anything, I'd say that my daily mindfulness practice (with a rare loving-kindness or concentration exercise thrown in) has played the biggest role. As @Gil79 said, being committed to carrying out actions that lead us closer to our goals is important on the path of recovery. I'm glad this is one of the habits that I've introduced into my life and that I've been able to keep on doing it. Not just for recovery, but for everything life throws my way.

    Things are still difficult, although I have been given a bit of reprieve after about five back-to-back days of miserable urges and withdrawals...well for the most part. I came into contact with my first sexual stimuli a few hours ago. No grey-area searches or anything like that. I have slowly been going through an atlas I was given at the end of last year--almost done finishing off Africa, and then there's just Australia and Oceania left--and while I was checking out some additional information online about a nation I covered, I came across a photo on a blog of some of its female citizens with no clothing on their upper bodies. Admittedly, my eyes did linger on the image for about two seconds or so once I became aware of what I was looking at. For the next hour after things were difficult, but I tried my best to keep my mind off of it and, while it still flashes in my mind from time to time, I think I'm holding up alright.

    Recently, I've been feeling a lot like The Most Sexually Frustrated Man in the World, but less and less like The Most Deluded Man in the World. Hopefully someday I'll be nothing like either of them.
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2020
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  16. NewStart19

    NewStart19 Well-Known Member

    Wow, yesterday was pretty terrible.

    The picture that I mentioned seeing in my last post actually faded from memory around the time I posted, so I am not sure if it had a role to play or not, but the rest of yesterday (after posting) was pretty brutal. The feeling of wanting to give in, to wanting to relapse, was so strong. It felt like I was near the precipice. But, as I think @-Luke- once phrased it, I was able to continually "urge surf" (had to quote him because I don't want to be called a plagiarist haha), keeping myself one step ahead of the shadow-like tendrils attempting to pull me back down to the bottom of the abyss. So I managed. No peeking, no touching, no masturbating. I would say that my total time fantasizing however increased from my previously mentioned 20 seconds to somewhere around 5 minutes. I am not that concerned, as the number is still pretty low, and I was able to snap myself out of the last three minutes of the five (which were one fixed period, not spread out) because I recognized that something as small as this could have a butterfly effect so to speak somewhere later on down the line in recovery. That, plus I know that the only two nocturnal emissions I've had since high school both came from fantasizing heavily before going to bed during longer streaks, and both times I felt the chaser effect. So best not to play with fire.

    And the ephemerality of experience manifested itself upon waking up after a strategic nap. Nothing lasts forever. I don't feel overconfident, viewing yesterday's struggle as something definitively resolved. I have no expectations about what will come next, be it today, a week from today, or a month. But the calms between the storms do come.
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  17. catchingup

    catchingup Active Member

    "the calms between the storms do come."

    Yes they do. They always do. And then there is peace and a deep appreciation for yourself and for life and for not having given in. Perhaps this is growth or self-discipline or self-esteem.
    NewStart19 likes this.
  18. NewStart19

    NewStart19 Well-Known Member


    Congratulations on overcoming your challenge! It definitely can push you to the brink, but this state doesn't persist ad infinitum. In my porn recovery plan that I wrote up (took me multiple months to condense it to where it's at), I have a section that lists some points I should keep in mind and not forget. One of them is simply: "Nothing lasts forever." Both the bad and the good. I try to do my best not to forget this on a daily basis.


    Well the last day was overall fine. Nothing too terrible on the urges/withdrawals front, and I was grateful for that. I didn't take it for granted. I stayed smart though as one frequent source of relapse for me is pushing myself too hard early on in recovery without paying attention to the internal signals telling me that I need to take it easy for an indefinite period of time. So I didn't play with fire, and worked on some of my tasks without overextending. In the past, during times like these, I'd think something like, "Finally some reprieve from the onslaught! Now to make up for lost time and get as many tasks done before it returns." Every time I have regretted this course of action. I am not trying to run away from life or upping my game to tackle more and more challenges, but I need to be realistic about my past experiences and recognize that there is a convalescent period where I need to focus on putting less pressure on myself and be more aware about how far I can reasonably push things. It definitely is still too early on to make any judgments, but I can say that I feel like I am finally integrating enough lessons learned in the past to ensure the success of my recovery.

    Sleep is another issue that probably isn't all due to my porn use but definitely is impacted by it (and abstaining from it). It's been extremely erratic, and normally I would start catastrophizing about it and the implications it has on the rest of my life (e.g. I'll always have sleep problems for the rest of my life, or This is bad! I'm more prone to relapse when I am sleep-deprived, etc.), but instead I give the sleep-deprived periods of my life extra caution but try not to focus on them that much. It's already difficult just being in that state, so why add on to it by thinking all these unnecessary and unhelpful thoughts? It's made more difficult by the fact that I have recently quit caffeine entirely, and yet I keep marching on. There's a way through it all. I think I am finally starting to get glimpses of that feeling with this addiction. It isn't overconfidence. But I'm rambling. I'm moving forward with no expectations, and I look forward to whatever improvements come my way.

    I'm a little embarrassed to admit it, but I am getting a little teary-eyed at the moment. It isn't coming from a feeling of sadness. I wonder, is this what experiencing glimmers of hope feels like? Still too early to say. I have to keep up with this experiment to better see what the results will be. One month, two months, three months, and then beyond it all. Another lesson I've learned: trust the process, and give it the time it needs.

    Take care everyone. Earnestly wishing you all the best.
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  19. catchingup

    catchingup Active Member

    @NewStart19 congrats on another day of victory! Looks like your blueprint for porn recovery is paying off! Wishing you happiness and low urges!
    NewStart19 likes this.
  20. NewStart19

    NewStart19 Well-Known Member


    Thanks for the repeated encouragement. Wishing you the same! I dig the positive vibe of your thread and am happy that you are sharing your journey with all of us.


    Yesterday was ok for the most part...until the end of the day. Was in a downright nasty mood. I'd say it was a combination of strong hopelessness and anger. I try to avoid viewing these feelings as withdrawals, because I am still unable to parse which part of them is withdrawals and which part of them is me + unresolved/untackled life issues. I should have a better idea in a few weeks. Anyway, feeling like that definitely makes one want to wash it all away with hours of stroking it non-stop to more and more pornographic content. Thankfully that didn't happen, and no peeking occurred. Wasn't easy though. My intentional fantasy has gone up from the 5 minutes I mentioned two posts ago to about 7 minutes. Most of it was on the more explicit side, and about 1m30s was across one block. But for some reason, on this particular journey I am able to nip them in the bud early on and leave them there, perhaps because it's another one of those lessons I have learned: sexual (and romantic, because it always ultimately leads me to sexual thoughts) fantasy is not as innocuous as it seems; it's the bellows to the furnace of urges that melts away my resolve to not turn to pornography when things get tough.

    One of the downsides I mentioned earlier in this topic about using these forums has surfaced once again: I am obsessively checking them multiple times throughout the day. The problem with this, simple though it may be, is that it doesn't make me feel good. It also is making me think more about recovery than I should. When it's bad, it's bad, and I have no choice but to deal with it. But when things are ok or, much more rarely, good, I really don't need to be excessively reminded that I am going through the worst period of recovery. I still want to use the forums, but I want to be more mindful of my usage and limit it to once or twice a day. I guess the appeal is partly that I can connect with or just read about others who are dealing with the struggle in their own way. But I don't want to get completely lost in the journeys of others because I'm not them and they're not me. No matter how much I want to be reassured, no matter how much I want to be done with this, I will each and every day have to--from a first-person, subjective, experiential standpoint--deal with this on my own. Support, encouragement, and feelings of connection are great, but they don't change the fact that I will, through urges and withdrawals and the other difficulties in my life, have to bear my suffering in its entirety if I want to make it through. Perhaps this is some of the maturation that @Pete McVries mentioned. There's a part of me that's so weak, so frail, that dealing with something that any non-addict could handle, as well as those further on down the road of recovery than I am, is a challenge that requires herculean effort on my part. But addictions, being addictions, do have the benefit of getting better with abstention. Your dendrites lose their super-spininess; ΔFosB depletes; CREB depletes; your dopamine receptor count increases; your stress system becomes less easily triggered. And putting addictions aside, bad habits have the benefits of feeling less and less automatic and more and more foreign as they are continually avoided: your brain finds other routes to send its signals down when exposed to certain stimuli, and someday they become the normal route of commerce so to speak. Subjectively, it isn't easy, but objectively, things change with time. The strangehold lessens. It isn't the full story, but it's a significant part of it (i.e. yes addition over deletion, but deletion also matters). Another lesson learned: look at other addictions that I have completely eliminated (some are at the two year mark) where I have gotten to the point where I don't even have the rare urge any more and my mind doesn't even gravitate toward them during a time of emotional/mental crisis; they help inform me when my addicted mind tries to reach for any reason to get me to relapse. Are there a lot of problems in my life? You bet. Is going back down this rabbit hole going to help in any way, shape, or form? Nope. It only make things that much worse. It's done so every single time. This is something I have a colossal data set for.

    Once again I find myself rambling. But hey, maybe that's part of the reason why I post in this topic. Musing over my experiences of recovery and relapse.

    One last thing. Occasionally, when I am going through a tough time with recovery, I call to mind--from a very general viewpoint--all the people struggling with this addiction, PIED, PIPE, etc., on these boards, and more specifically those who I have interacted with more regularly. While I do think it's a bit strange, seeing as I don't know any members personally (and I don't pretend to), it's one of the many techniques I can pull out of my recovery toolkit that helps from time to time. Remember @Pete McVries, the member who's somewhere around 1y8m clean? He mentioned once that he was stuck in a cycle of relapsing every 5-7 days for a while, and then he just pulled himself together one day and never looked back. That could be me someday. How about @nuclpow? He started his topic 8 years ago--experiencing various struggles along the way--but is now almost a year without porn. That's a protracted struggle, kind of like my own. Don't forget @-Luke-. He made it to around 400 days porn free--at which point he still was experiencing some PIED-- but then fell back into the orbit of his addiction; yet he still hasn't given up. And he's working on starting his own business. What an inspiration. And what's that about @Gil79? He still has his setbacks, but he's slowly been getting better and says he's feeling way better than 10 years ago, and that's on top of having multiple real-world responsibilities, like taking care of and managing a family with multiple children. He keeps the goal of recovery in his mind without letting go of it. Things might be tough for me, but I don't have a spouse or children that depend on me for support. Who am I to think that I have things so tough? And don't forget about @Thelongwayhome27. He's gone off the radar for his own reasons, but either he's handling recovery in his own way (something I should be doing), or he might re-engage the forums someday and get some motivation from seeing how I demonstrated that recovery is possible, even for heavily addicted people like me for whom hopelessness is the norm. And so on and so forth.

    We all came here for different reasons, but most are here because they became aware that their porn use has noticeably decreased the quality of their lives. Some dealt with it quickly on their first or first couple of attempts (Gabe Deem, Noah Church), others struggled for some time but were able to get a handle on their addictions, while others did it for much longer but ultimately succeeded. On the other side you have those who are dealing with their first few relapses after buckling down and telling themselves that they were done, those that find themselves slipping up time and time again and who are being reciprocally teased and then battered by hope and despair, and those who feel lost in a seemingly eternal limbo of relapse and remission. On top of all that, there are members who have the addiction pretty much under control but are still experiencing sexual dysfunctions to some degree (PIED, no libido, PIPE, etc.), yet in spite of that keep marching on, encouraged by the accounts of posters like Axiomatic.

    The point? Never forget to keep your head up, even during the worst of times. We all have our own idiosyncrasies, be it with our addictions, recovery process, or--from a more birds-eye view--with the subjective character of our experience, but somewhere out there you can find idiosyncratic solutions to your problems. Your experience is not that of others, just as theirs is not yours. But they handled recovery in their own way. So can I. And so can you.

    Take care
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2020
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