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Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by multibeast, May 29, 2012.

  1. multibeast

    multibeast Guest

  2. Forgive Me

    Forgive Me tmrw belongs to people who prepare for it today!

    Re: Keeping me honest...

    Hey multibeast.

    keep up the hard work.

    I'm gonna read your journal later as i am at work but wanted you to know that we are all here to support you.
     
  3. xman

    xman New Member

    Re: Keeping me honest...

    Don't worry dude. Were all in it with you. Rebooting may be one of the most challenging things you'll ever do, but the rewards will be worth it.

    If you read around the journals you'll see that many people here have sexual and masculine inadequacy issues, and low self-worth. Alongside rebooting, self-worth is something that alot of dudes here are working on - so you're not alone.
     
  4. Forgive Me

    Forgive Me tmrw belongs to people who prepare for it today!

    Re: Keeping me honest...

    Bro be patient.

    You will read that a lot of other people here have made other changes to their lives and not just PMO. I think this is crucial. Trying adding exercise and healthy diet to your daily routine. ED is to do with blood flow to the penis whether this be due to physical issues or psychological. If your physically unfit then this will naturally effect the strength of your erections. Vitamin D is also now being discovered as a crucial vitamin. I would suggest sunlight exposure as opposed to supplementing this if possible and take Vitamin D3 and not D2 if you have to take tablets.

    Good luck dude and dont give in. Your future is bright i am sure.
     
  5. LTC

    LTC OURS IS THE FURY

    Re: Normal, for once... DAY 18

    Hey Multibeast,

    I've tried to write the response a number of times, but couldn't find one that didn't make me come off as a jackass, so I'm sorry if I come across as one. I would suggest trying the full PMO reboot, instead of having sex with an ex-pornstar (not that I'm sure I'd be able to abstain in that situation). I haven't seen an addiction specialist, but I've listened to podcasts on love and sex addiction and I've read up on the subject of addiction recovery, and one of the first rules of a recovering addict is no new relationships for at least a year. Our chemical imbalances and neural pathways are so fucked that our main goal has to be to get them as close to zero (or neutral) as possible. I'm 22 days into my first (and hopefully only) PMO reboot and it's torture, but I know that if I do PMO or hire a prostitute or try to get laid and deal with the old porn induced ED then I will spiral back into depression and addiction. So I guess the advice I'm trying to give is to give up sex/porn/masturbation for the reboot process, give your dopamine receptors time to heal, let your nerve sensitivity come back, and then when you feel back to neutral try to initiate sex and see how it goes. Again, maybe I'm projecting and I'm sorry if I come off as pedantic or a jackass in any way, it's not my intention.

    I am intensely curious about what your sex therapist had to say about PMO addiction. I've been thinking a lot about getting into therapy, and I'd like to know if you think it's helped. Was it a licensed sex therapist, or a traditional therapist that covered addiction? Our stories are pretty similar, and reading yours brought up a lot of the painful memories/emotions that people in our situation have to deal with. Just know that you're not alone in the struggle, and I for one am very supportive of your journey and hope that we can be of help.
     
  6. Forgive Me

    Forgive Me tmrw belongs to people who prepare for it today!

    Re: Normal, for once... DAY 24 (Feedback Please!)

    personally bro i would not reset.

    You had sex with a real women and not with your computer, thats the most important thing.
     
  7. xman

    xman New Member

    Re: Normal, for once... DAY 24 (Feedback Please!)

    What the dude above said.
     
  8. Forgive Me

    Forgive Me tmrw belongs to people who prepare for it today!

    Re: Normal, for once... DAY 36 (FEEDBACK PLEASE!! Big need of reassurance!!!!!!)

    Hey Multi Beast,

    Make sure you see this to the end. I would also suggest finding another room mate as you will always have temptation sitting in the room next door. If i had a pornstar for a girlfriend i would not be able to take it. The reboot can be a long process but you have to see it through to the end to reap the benefits. I have been going for almost 2 years now i think and still not fully recovered because i keep falling into bad habits.

    Regards to girl on top totaly agree its harder to keep erection with girl on top. But yes i have recovered from this and can sometimes now keep full erection with wife on top.
     
  9. xman

    xman New Member

    Re: Normal, for once... DAY 37 (FEEDBACK PLEASE!! Big need of reassurance!!!!!!)

    My advice... remove yourself from the house or room when her friend comes round, or she is talking about sex. She or they might get pissed, but your needs and desires are important - and you don't have to gain others approval at the expense of your dignity.

    For them to come round and say 'they can't find any decent guys to have sex with' whilst you are in earshot is pretty callous - they are either doing it deliberately, or they are unnecessarily insensitive IMO.

    BTW if you haven't read the book; no more mr nice guy, by Robert Glover (a forum favourite) then I highly suggest you do so.
     
  10. superduper

    superduper break the chains of porn

    Re: Normal, for once... DAY 37 (FEEDBACK PLEASE!! Big need of reassurance!!!!!!)

    Yeah, I agree...
    Honestly dude, these girls are doing it on purpose to play a game on you.

    I hate to say it, but I'm 95% sure that's what is going on. See, I used to believe that women were gullible and didn't know the emotional effects their actions have on people. I believed this because my mother was and is, an emotionally manipulative bully, but who would always act innocent or naive about the damage she would inflict on mine and my dads self-esteem.

    Then I read The Female Brain, and I discovered how women, on average, are much more highly tuned to the emotional state of others around them, that this skill was highly needed for them to evolve, and that most of what women do is based on this awareness of emotions. I realized that for years, my mother had behaved in a way to move my emotions in a direction she wanted, to control and direct my behavior. She always 'knew' what she was doing on a subconscious level.

    These girls know EXACTLY what emotion they are making you feel. There is no naivete here. They know exactly how their actions could be affecting your emotions. This is not an accident. They are not unaware. They know what you are feeling, and they know that you think they aren't doing it on purpose.
    Seriously dude. Get the hell away from them, or call them out on that BS.

    Other than that, sounds like you are doing good man, keep it up, I'm sure you'll get your mojo back. 37 days is a lot, but you know this will probably take 90 to see serious results. I'm day 31, still numb and low libido.

    Also I do get mildly depressed/jealous when others talk about their sex lives. I let myself feel the jealousy. I know as soon as I start getting laid often, I won't feel jealous anymore. Its natural. Once you get things going in your life you won't care how successful other people are anymore. Maybe you'll even be happy to hear others stories, and maybe help others get laid too.
     
  11. Re: Normal, for once... DAY 38 (FEEDBACK PLEASE!! Big need of reassurance!!!!!!)

    Dude, first of all congratulations on all the days you've lasted. Not everyone has that much will power.
    Now, concerning your intention of having sex with pornstars after 90 days of reboot sounds like a bad one in my opinion. It would destroy all the effort you would have made by that moment. Fucking pornstars isn't reality, since they are not like real women and are only interested in meaningless pleasure. Besides, they are easy girls, unlike real women, who are tougher to get and real, thus giving you a boost in confidence.
    Go for a solid relationship instead and if that eventually leads to sex, then I'm sure it would be much better than with a pornstar. Remember that appearance plays a minor role in sex.
    Good luck!
     
  12. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    Re: Normal, for once... DAY 38 (FEEDBACK PLEASE!! Big need of reassurance!!!!!!)

    You're doing a great job man, just that I also think it's a bad idea to have sex with pornstars after you hit 90 days, I think getting a real girlfriend (or at least dating real women) would be a much better approach. It's hard enough to gain confidence, but taking that approach will better your confidence, especially after you ditch the pornstars.
     
  13. xman

    xman New Member

    Re: Normal, for once... DAY 38 (FEEDBACK PLEASE!! Big need of reassurance!!!!!!)

    The only question I have is why specifically pornstars?

    Your desire for exclusively having sex with pornstars is probably tied into PMO. Before attempting to reboot I had a heavy desire for transsexual women, now that desire is gradually fading. Not saying I wouldn't if the opportunity came along, but it's not something I want to specifically seek out, unlike before.

    Like Eddie Murphy said; if you're starving and someone throws you a cracker, it's gonna be the best cracker you've ever had. No wonder it was that good after a 4 year dry spell, and MOing to a porn standard of beauty.
     
  14. Zorman

    Zorman New Member

    Re: Normal, for once... DAY 38 (FEEDBACK PLEASE!! Big need of reassurance!!!!!!)

    multibeast, I was also diagnosed with extremely low vitamin D levels and the doc prescribed me 20000 IU vitamin D3 tablets which I have been taking once a day for about 3 weeks now. I can tell you that I feel MASSIVELY better. I cant begin to describe the difference it has made to me. But has it made any difference to my ED? I don't know. I haven't done PMO or had sex over the past 3 weeks so I have no way of knowing. I don't care though because I am starting to feel really quite happy :D I felt really sad and down all the time but now my mood is a constant 5 or 6 and today I think maybe a 7 for the first time! I defiantly don't feel my best, but all the terrible depressive thoughts are gone.

    I think that you need to defiantly start taking a vitamin D3 supplement and no wasting your time with stupid amounts like 1000 IU tablets either. Taking the RDA of a vitamin when you are deficient in it is useless because the RDA is the minimum amount that your body needs each day and so your body will just use up this tiny RDA amount each time you take it and you will never increase your levels. In the case of vitamin D it is almost impossible to overdose on it so your doc will have no qualms about giving you some 20000 or even 50000 IU bad boys. If you are low then he was negligent not to give you some anyway!!! Buy some 5000 IU capsules and start taking 4 of them each day. Take them all at the same time with a meal that contains fat and also with a magnesium supplement. The fat will help with absorption and the magnesium is consumed by your body as it uses up the D3, so if you start taking lots of D3 then you can start getting symptoms of magnesium deficiency if you're not careful.
     
  15. superduper

    superduper break the chains of porn

    Re: Normal, for once... DAY 40 (FEEDBACK PLEASE!! Big need of reassurance!!!!!!)

    Hey man, I think I'm the same kind of guy to be honest. I'm still a virgin though, so I can't say for sure.
    But I do believe, I need some sort of emotional rapport with a person to really feel attracted.

    I too fantasized about the playboy lifestyle at times, and I do think there is some sort of compromise that is possible. It is possible to have lots of short, but very intimate relationships. There can be passion in a short amount of time. And I think lots of women would be into that. Lots of romance stories are like that. A really strong seduction can be like that.

    I'm pretty sure I'm in the same boat, where I couldn't really enjoy boning someone that I felt nothing for.

    I don't think it's something to be ashamed of. If you're having sex without emotions, then really you're just using a vagina to masturbate, right? Nothing very fulfilling about that, even on an ego-level.
     
  16. RecoverED

    RecoverED Guest

    Re: Normal, for once... DAY 41 (FEEDBACK PLEASE!! Big need of reassurance!!!!!!)

    sounds tough but like you said, baby steps.

    Stay strong man.
     
  17. Dragus

    Dragus New Member

    Re: Normal, for once... DAY 42 (FEEDBACK PLEASE!! Big need of reassurance!!!!!!)

    You, Sir, are a good storyteller. Very interesting journey indeed.
    You actually strike me as a confident person. If I were to bump into you in real life, I even have a feeling that I'd think you're that guy that I am jealous over in the club.
    So, you know yourself that all these issues are just in your head.

    I also struggles with ED. Never been in a relationship in my life, 26 and still a virgin, but had encounters with a few masseuses.
    Stayed limp for all 4 times that I got massage (probably because of the porn and the type of porn I've been exposed to).
    Got really angry at myself the first time it happened, but eventually I couldn't care less.
    All I care about was the fact I've had these experiences and had fun (I gave oral on two encounters).
    I think those of us who live in the head need to learn to live for the present moment. I know I struggle myself with doing so, but it doesn't mean that we should stop trying.
    I've had the opportunity to live with a few Brazilian guys in the past few years. Much of their way of living is about letting go and being able to enjoy gratitude as they come (perhaps a bit too much) and I know I have a lot to learn from them on that front.
    One guy in particular, speaks of threesomes with 2 girls as though everyone is doing it.
    He told me that there were periods of a few months where he completely lost his mojo, complete ED and he had no clue why. Did it stop him from chasing women? Nope. He told me that penetration is just one side of sex.

    In any case, damn, how I wish I could be at 42 days of No P (up to 3 days myself). Keep up the good work man!
     

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