9 Years off Porn! :) 3 Mistakes I made. READ IF DISCOURAGED!

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by JayKay, Feb 3, 2017.

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  1. JayKay

    JayKay Member

    Hi,

    My name is J.K. I'm 32 years old.

    First off- unlike many on YBR, I don't have anything to hide. I am showing my face and telling my true life story.

    This is the "Success Stories" section, so I'm going to do my best to make it an actual STORY.

    I'll try to keep this brief- but it probably won't be because I am super OCD and whenever I write, I like my stuff to be detailed...you'll see what I mean. I apologize in advance.

    Two years ago, I sold my small sales business and dedicated my life to spreading the word about the dangers of internet pornography.


    I was exposed to pornography at the age of 8. I became addicted at 13 years old. By "addicted" I mean there wasn't a day from the age of 13-20 that I did not masturbate 6- 12 times/ day.

    Even when I caught hepatitis (the treatable kind) when I was 15 and nearly died, I still masturbated a few times in my hospital room.

    I quit when I was 24 and I have never had a slip or relapse since November 11th 2007. Nothing special- I went the same route as most of us on the forum did.

    The problem was that there were 3 mistakes I kept making over and over again for years. I think that if more guys were aware of them, quitting porn would be MUCH easier.( still hard as nails, but def easier)

    Here I am:

    [​IMG]


    Before we get to the mistakes, I have a question for you.

    Why?

    Why are you on YBR?

    Why do you want to quit porn ?

    Why do you want to have more control over your life?

    Why do you want to live up to your potential as a human being?

    What would be measurably different in your life if tomorrow morning you woke up and had exactly what you wanted?


    That is a very important question.

    And one you HAVE to be crystal clear on before starting this journey. Or else you will quit.

    WHY I RELAPSED AFTER 1 YEAR OFF PORN

    Almost 9 years ago, I quit porn for 16 months. That's a year and four months.

    I was 22. In college. Broke and extremely ambitious. I dreamed of becoming wealthy, and “making it” in life. In the summer , I sold a bibles (yes- bibles!)with just over 30 college age age guys door to door to make money and save up for college tuition.

    I was learning about sexual transmutation and I sincerely believed that if I quit porn and masturbation, I would become a super salesman.

    I had failed a few classes that semester, was facing the prospect of getting dismissed AND I owed tuition.

    To make a long story short, I was extremely stressed out, broke, trying to make a living as a door to door salesman AND trying to quit porn

    The only way I knew how to do things was like a door to door salesman, so everyday from May to August, I would go door to door during the day, and try to sell these bibles. I had recruited one guy to work with me on my sales team and he was struggling so hard to sell bibles, that I had to give him $5 for gas to make it to his sales territory every day.

    I was paid on 100% commission and to eat, I had to sell.

    I dealt with rejection every single day.

    It sucked.
    [​IMG]
    There were three likely scenarios every time I walked up to a door:

    Scenario # 1: The poor housewife inside got scared, yelled at the dog to quit barking and acted like she wasn't there.

    Scenario #2: The poor housewife inside got scared, opened the door and yelled at me.

    Scenario #3: The poor housewife got scared, opened the door and let the dog chase me.

    All three scenarios ended poorly for me.

    The money was sometimes decent but the constant rejection was hard.

    Then one day I quit.

    Exactly 4 days to the end of 16 months of no porn and approaching houses every week, with no luck, everything fell apart.

    I had my third straight week of zero sales and was publicly called lazy by my manager during our weekly sales meeting.

    The next day, in an egotistic bid to prove that I wasn't lazy I knocked on doors for 11 hours straight one day- 176 doors.

    At one of the houses late that evening, I lost my temper with a customer, yelled at him, then broke into tears and begged him to buy.

    He called the cops on me.

    The police kicked me out of the town I was selling in and banned me from soliciting within the State.

    Two days later, the local newspaper would run a column calling me a “door to door scam artist” who terrorized the neighborhood.

    I felt terrible.

    To make matters worse, in the ensuing drama I lost my wallet with my IDs and keys in the process.

    I literally hitchhiked home, turned on my laptop and watched porn and masturbated for hours till I passed out.

    A few days of binge watching porn later, the summer sales program ended for the year. I sold my car, dropped out of college, moved to a really crappy studio apartment and got a minimum wage job selling cell phones with Verizon.

    Guess what happened to my efforts to quit porn ?

    Yup!

    Like my plans to be a top salesman and "make it" in life, it completely fell apart.

    I did my best to get back on track, using will power, but there was nothing left in the tank. No motivation, no drive..nothing.

    Eventually you WILL hit a wall.

    I did.

    You'll try and fail so many times AT EVERYTHING that you'll want to quit.

    You'll try different approaches and they won't work for you.

    Life will happen and you'll get side tracked.

    Either way...the wall is coming.

    Some event will happen in your life that will cause you not be able to stay off porn any longer, care about achieving those big goals you had in life anymore, or even want to work on your self or your relationships.

    What happens then?

    What happens when you take YOU out of the game?

    The wall. Thats what.

    Back to my key takeaway after doing this for 12 years.

    I hate risk.

    My goal for the past decade has been to figure out how to create a system of overcoming addiction that didn't rely on ME. On my willpower.

    For me to dive headlong into overcoming porn use and building a happy life, it needed to be J.K -proof.

    It needed to be wall-proof.

    It needed to NOT rely on will power alone.

    Then a few months later, I did it.

    After 12 years of experimentation, it finally "clicked", and my next attempt to reboot was my last.

    None of it had anything to do with my willpower.

    Before I say more- I'll say it again- you must have a reason, a strong enough "Why". A painful enough "Why".

    Here were my WHYs: (continued in next entry)

    • Be a better husband and father to my family when I eventually have one in the future.
    • Have more happiness, time to focus on the things I enjoy and live a guilt free life
    • Have more control over my future instead of porn dictating it.
    • Have more freedom to walk to people I am attracted to and express how I feel confidently, and without shame.
    • Experience healthy sexual experiences, so I don't feel like I am missing out or wasting my life on porn.
    If you have answered that, then the big question now is how can you get there?

    How can you achieve the goal that you've set ?

    One of the best pieces of advice I've ever received on reaching massive life-changing goals occurred on my journey to quit porn.

    I distinctly remember 2 years into my journey, one of my mentors/accountability partners telling me:

    "Don't beat yourself up if you make a mistake. Just don't make a fatal mistake.”

    The EXACT same thing is true in your life.

    The reason you haven't achieved your goal of quitting porn yet is because it's freaking hard to get there.

    Its going to take time. Sweat. Tears. And a lot of mistakes.

    Your job is to avoid making a FATAL mistake.

    So I'm going to show you 3 more fatal mistakes that I've made with relationships and quitting porn and how to avoid them.

    Note: 9 months after quitting the business, I returned, finished as a top sales man, got promoted to a District Manager position and went on to build and lead one of the largest sales organizations in the company over the next 8 years.
    [​IMG]
    Mistake #1: Tackling recovery with less enthusiasm than watching pornography

    Recovery is not a walk in the park. Too many guys think that some “ 90 day” commitment to not masturbating and watching porn will save them.

    Bluntly speaking, it won’t.

    If pornography consumed your life, if you couldn’t wait to get back home to launch those browsers, if you ran back to porn every time you experienced even the slightest bit of stress in your life, if all you think about on a weekend night is how much fun you’re going to have watching porn, then you must be just as enthusiastic about quitting porn.

    Anything less than the obsessiveness you gave to porn use will not work. The recovery process requires commitment and self discipline.

    How long do you have to be committed to the process?

    As long as it takes.
    [​IMG]
     
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  2. APA

    APA Member

    Great post with great info graphics and great video at the end . Thanks for sharing.
     
  3. niskanen91

    niskanen91 Active Member

    Your post looks like one of those internet marketers, marketing from PUAs, NLPs, "increase the size of your dick for just 99$" type of ads. I just get bad vibe while reading this.

    You sound like people from nofap cult. "If I quit masturbation, I'll get super powers!!!!!!"



    How is that mistake? Watching porn was an activity that released HUGE amounts of dopamine so how can you force yourself to be more enthusiastic while not watching it? It's impossible to achieve. The reality is, in my opinion, that "recovery" from PIED is about not watching porn. How much effort does it take to not watch porn? It doesn't take any effort at all. Not eating carrots doesn't take any effort, not playing basketball doesn't take any effort, not looking for a job doesn't take any effort etc.

    Sexualizing every women you meet (assuming she's attractive) is normal thing for men. What's wrong there?

    Also, about that picture with mountains. What does it show? Most people here are aware that they won't recover in two weeks so I think it's exaggerated.

    I'm an introvert as well. How can other people help you with "quitting porn"? It's one of those things that you can only do by yourself, are we supposed to ask our grandmas to help us quit? The act of quitting porn is made by no longer entering porn sites and no longer watching porn. We can do it only by ourselves, don't we?

    I was wondering why you even bothered with writing a wall of text with little value but then I saw your signature, clicked on the link and it seems like you want to earn some green papers (paid coaching etc.). from naive people who don't smell bs from people like you.

    To sum it up:
    1) I'm not even convinced you have ever had porn induced ED and/or porn addiction.
    2) You post like one of those NLP/PUA/MLM/increasing penis ads internet scammers.
    3) Three seconds after clicking on your page I realize that I'm on the page that is about internet scam.
    4) You make "recovery" seem like an almost impossible task...
    5)...so it could convince naive people to pay you for to coach them through those mountains you depicted.
     
  4. NatureHeals

    NatureHeals Active Member

    @niskanen91
    have a look at his recent history
    "@Today at 9:15 AM - Keep up the good work, Underdogg . Yes, wet dreams are perfectly normal. No need to worry.
    Today at 9:18 AM - "Assalamualaikum, brother. I enjoyed browsing through your journal for the past 20 mins. Keep up the good work!"

    but he's only had 3 minutes to read his blog AND type up his reply

    @Today at 9:19 AM (a minute later) "Your story sounds very much like mine- we are the same age as well. Keep up the good work :)"

    @Today at 9:21 AM "One heck of a journal, brother!"

    but he's only had 2 minutes to finish his reading of the other.
    "

    have a look at him selling bibles, does he only have to sell one bible a day?
    if he masturbated 6 times a day for 7 years he would be dead
    when he was 8 the year was 1992, where did he get access to pornography?
    when he was 13 the year was 1997, was high speed internet a thing then? Pornogrpahy addiction is only become a thing with high speed internet, how did he get addicted to it in 1997?
    how is he living?
    I've flagged him because of his blatant spamming and agenda fulled deceitful comments.
     
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  5. niskanen91

    niskanen91 Active Member

    Hahaha, @NatureHeals , I was just checking, noticed exactly THE SAME thing you posted (posts 1-2 minutes apart from eachother) and then I see the alert and your post. You make some great points. I've read his website and watched "10 mistakes porn users make". The guy has no clue and is trying to sell us snake oil. Basically, 10 years ago internet "marketers" (or we can call them scammers) offered coaching in terms of dating women, increasing your dick size, earning huge money without any effort and necessity to leave the home, now the guy saw forums related to negative effects of porn and is trying to run a business on it.
     
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  6. NatureHeals

    NatureHeals Active Member

    I don't think he knows (or researched enough on YBR) that theirs a recent history feature that tells the information we both independently found out (without much effort) to show he isn't being truthful.
    he's got a few sites
    http://elevatedrecovery.org/
    go on courses "porn reboot coming soon" "the partner program coming soon"
    This was just marketing from him to entice new "customers"
    also have a look at his instagram
    https://www.instagram.com/jkemezi/?hl=en

    he doesnt look like a guy that was an intrvert and addicted to porn.

    have to say though his website is impressive and I don't think it cost cheap. have a look at his youtube video, good camera. He must know what he's doing to get as far as he has and to be honest if he came out and told the truth that he runs courses, for a fee and that he's passionate to help then I wouldn't have minded because thats upto the individual to decide. But he decided to use psychology from the onset.

    when I hear members on this site seeing multiple psychologist and still struggling what makes him think throwing money at this will even make a dent?
     
  7. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    Things get ugly when you try to make $ off a disease that can require a spiritual solution. The waters are murky. You are messing with genuineness and authenticity. Its hard to say if JK is really doing it from his heart, as a recovered addict, who is trying to help others. If he has truly experienced our pain, has climbed out of those pits and wants to sincerely help others and show them his solution, and to make a living doing it, then MAYBE we can hear him out and give him a chance.

    But, he will have an uphill battle. This is one of the major issues in the drug and alcohol rehab industry. Why do they charge $30,000 a month for rehab and then $10,000/month for a one yr extended program? Because people are so DESPERATE. The problem is there are more and more extended rehabs and only so many families can afford $150,000/yr. You will get different levels of pricing, but still the pool drys out. They are now recruiting pretty hard overseas. My old roommate was the office manager for a six figure extended rehab in my city and I learned a lot about the politics and recruiting methods. It made me sick to my stomach.

    So, Im willing to give JK a shot. But he will need to prove himself over time with thoughtful posts and commenting and talk about what is going on in his life..
     
  8. niskanen91

    niskanen91 Active Member

    Yeah, you make good points.

    Yes, he invested effort and money into his site to make it look professional, however this is still the same scam theme that is used by dating gurus, multi-level marketing scammers, people with secret techniques to make your penis longer etc. I'm in the internet for years and I've seen hunderds of sites where you see the video of some "guru" talking, wall of text with the purpose to convince you that you NEED his product etc. This one is another example of this. Guy is trying to sell snake oil here and if it was, let's say, Gabe Deem trying to run coaching or any person that has credibility, experience and knowledge, I wouldn't mind. But this guy has noone of this, I bet he read forums, didn't even realize the concept of PIED/Porn addiction completely and is now trying to make money out of it.

    I'll just provide analysis of his "10 Mistakes You Make When Quitting Porn" here:

    0:14 "Quitting porn is a rough road" - aims to make quitting porn harder than it actually is and tries to convince you (in a subtle way) that it might be helpful to look for a coaching ;) and it's pure coincidence that he happens to be a coach.

    0:31 talk about that it's so hard that people think it's better to quit trying and live as a chronic porn-user - this mindset is very rare on this forum (and on r/nofap). I had my doubts about quitting porn but the thing is if you get PIED you know that you won't be able to have sex if you keep using porn. so this mindset is very rare.

    0:53 "thinking that staying away from porn will fix your addictions" - staying away from porn is an absolutely crucial thing and requirement for getting rid of porn addiction. just like with cigarettes etc.

    1:04 "porn use (...) could involve low self-esteem, traumatic event as a child" - bs. the reason boys start watching porn is that... they like naked tits and butts of women. they like sex. it arouses them. look, 90%+ of teenage boys watch porn, not even half of them have self esteem issues or childhoold traumas.

    1:12 "if the root cause of your porn use isn't handled, porn will inevitably creep back in your life" - root cause of the porn use is that as humans, we are sexual beings and we find sexual things arousing. so in order to quit porn, we have to... stop being humans?

    1:17 we are 77 seconds in and our "guru" starts to say that porn addiction in some cases led to sex addiction - facepalm. most of us had (or still have) totally limp dicks in real life scenarios and were (or still are) unable to have sex. the relationship between porn addiction and sex addiction is a myth. wives of husbands addicted to porn addicts (who reject them and choose porn instead) would DREAM of their husbands having sex addiction.

    1:36 "tackling recovery with less enthusiasm than when watching recovery" i commented on this issue few posts earlier

    ok, analyzed two minutes and i'm done with it. maybe i'll come back to this later but i needed only 2 minutes to realize what level of knowledge this guy has.
     
  9. shattered

    shattered Member

    Yes, I was very moved by the guys willingness to put himself out there and simply help people. Something is driving him, and I also feel similar inspirations.
     
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  10. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    There are thousands of people on YBR putting themselves out there and trying to help people! Oh, and for FREE........
     
    niskanen91 likes this.
  11. JayKay

    JayKay Member


    @NatureHeals, I understand that I came off as very "salesy" and "marketing". Probably not the best way to introduce myself.

    First off, I am not worried about being called a "scammer".

    I took a big risk sharing my past with porn addiction to the world, quitting a very lucrative job and dedicated considerable resources to building something that is 90% free.

    The 10% that isn't free is better than or as good as anything offered at a rehab center. Books and forums will not help everyone. If one man or woman talks to me for free and gets put in the right direction, that is worth it.

    If a wife strugging with betrayal trauma from finding out her husband has secretly been a porn addict for 12 years of marriage gets some hope that she can actually overcome the pain- thats worth me giving up a career.

    If a 20 year old guy living with the guilt of visiting a trans gender escort tries to commit suicide because he can't cope any longer gets on a call with me, and believes that he CAN live through and with it, its worth being called a scammer a thousand times over.

    If a Dad who lost his family to a porn addiction because his 6 year old daughter walked in on his masturbating to hardcore porn has no one to talk to and can't afford traditional therapy, but find me and we work together- that's worth it.

    These are a tiny fraction of actual people whom I have worked with for FREE last year.

    If part of doing what I am passionate about is being called a scammer, then so be it.



    To clarify:

    - I am aware of the features of YBR.

    - Yes- that is my instagram and my REAL name. I have nothing to hide.
    When you say " I don't look like a guy who was an introvert and addicted to porn", its a little sad.

    I work hard, I love my new path offering coaching and therapy to those affected by sexually compulsive disorders, I've spent years overcoming my social anxiety, I've rebuilt a horrible, guilt and shame filled life. yeah, its all there to see on instagram. So?

    I like to think I look like a guy who is fully recovered and my life is an example of what is possible when you beat this.

    What is a guy who has recovered from pornography addiction, PIED, and social anxiety supposed to look like, brother?


    - I am a licensed coach and have offered therapy for 4 years- without having a website - simple through word of mouth. I have many clients who are successfully on the path to recovery.
    I also have licensed mental health therapists working with me.

    I work with couple, male and female addicts as well as their children( usually teens) struggling with their own compulsive disorders.

    - I have multiple free courses- that are good enough to help guys without them paying anything.

    I will contribute to the forum with the little free time I have. That is all the proof I can offer.
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2017
  12. JayKay

    JayKay Member

    @NatureHeals

    You could have just asked me. I am here on the forums to stay.

    I will reply to all you doubts directly- only because others will read this and jump to conclusions based on your erroneous conclusions.



    1) Selling Bibles: I was a door to door bible sales man. What you saw in the picture was my sample case at the door of a potential customer. Bibles( and childrens books, study guides, etc) were in the trunk of my car- if you need to know all the details.
    Find me on Linkedin if you are so worried that I'm a scammer and ask all my contacts ( my former employees, colleagues, etc) if you really need to prove something.

    2) "if he masturbated 6 times a day for 7 years he would be dead"- Is this broscience?

    This is based on my personal count. What is the scientific proof that I'd be dead from masturbating an average of 6 times a day. I'm alive, but I suffered from MASSIVE porn induced ED as a result.

    3) "when he was 8 the year was 1992, where did he get access to pornography?":
    A magazine poorly hidden in my Dads room. Porn was around in the 90's ya know.

    4) "when he was 13 the year was 1997, was high speed internet a thing then? Pornogrpahy addiction is only become a thing with high speed internet, how did he get addicted to it in 1997?"
    I don't know how old you are, but the internet was around and no it wasn't high speed internet.
    Porn addiction did not become a thing with high speed internet. It has been around. High speed internet only escalated a minor problem.

    5) "I've flagged him because of his blatant spamming and agenda fulled deceitful comments"
    I run a busy practice and literally work 14- 16 hours a day. Once of my therapists encouraged me to post on the forums, hence I only have a few minutes in between my work obligations to send out messages.
    Yeah, I skimmed and shot out rushed responses because it to me longer than I expected to write my story.

    Yesterday was my first day posting- yes it was rushed, but I will dedicate more time to well thought out responses.

    I have spoken to the moderators and cleared up any misunderstanding your flagging may have caused.


    You don't have to believe me- it's your right to be skeptical. I will keep doing my best to serve those who are going through this problem.
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2017
  13. JayKay

    JayKay Member

    @niskanen91, your comment, which I have quoted below is very disturbing:

    " Sexualizing every women you meet (assuming she's attractive) is normal thing for men. What's wrong there?"


    There is nothing wrong with sexualizing some attractive women. There IS something wrong with sexualizing EVERY attractive woman and it is NOT normal.

    When you get further in your recovery, you will understand that not every attractive woman needs to be sexualized. Believe it or not- you can actually see, meet and touch an attractive woman without sexualizing her

    I invested effort and money into my site to make it look professional, because I AM a professional. I am no "guru". I'm a guy who almost threw his life away to porn and I'm giving everything I've got (literally) to help others.


    I am responding to your comment because in one comment, you have already done so much damage( not to me), but to guys who read your misguided post and actually agree with you. I don't think you intend to do this- I know you are just reacting to me because right off the bat, you don't like me.

    This response is to educate those who may not understand the video and who take your "analysis" seriously.

    You jump to so many conclusions. Gabe Deem ( a really great and down to earth guy whom I met and congratulated in person at the National Coalition to End Sexual Exploitation conference in September last year) had to start somewhere as well. I literally started shooting my youtube videos last year. I also quit a great job to do this- my entire family thought I was insane for going into something like this , and I have lost alot of close friends and former associates who put the "porn addict/ sex addict" stigma on me.

    Not that you care, but my point is that I gave up alot to do this, and a few suspicious comments will not stop me from serving the thousands of men struggling with this.

    I completely disagree with your analysis. You are reading waay too much into my piece. There are no "tactics" or whatever it is you are trying to say. For the record- it was really hard to put the videos together in a way that would connect to people struggling with porn.



    "Quitting porn is a rough road" - aims to make quitting porn harder than it actually is and tries to convince you (in a subtle way) that it might be helpful to look for a coaching ;) and it's pure coincidence that he happens to be a coach."

    It IS a rough road- any you know it. I don't need to convince anyone that its hard.There is no "harder" or "not harder"- everyone is on their own journey.


    " talk about that it's so hard that people think it's better to quit trying and live as a chronic porn-user - this mindset is very rare on this forum (and on r/nofap). I had my doubts about quitting porn but the thing is if you get PIED you know that you won't be able to have sex if you keep using porn. so this mindset is very rare."

    You may not know this, but there are more men who have given up trying to quit and live with this. I am reaching out to them and letting then know that there is hope. I suppose you have lots of experience from the forums and online. My experience comes from physically running men's recovery groups and speaking to them one on one.

    "thinking that staying away from porn will fix your addictions" - staying away from porn is an absolutely crucial thing and requirement for getting rid of porn addiction. just like with cigarettes etc."


    You missed the point on this one. This is for men who have cross addictions and feel that quitting porn will be enough to end say, their addiction to a hard drug.


    "porn use (...) could involve low self-esteem, traumatic event as a child" - bs. the reason boys start watching porn is that... they like naked tits and butts of women. they like sex. it arouses them. look, 90%+ of teenage boys watch porn, not even half of them have self esteem issues or childhoold traumas."

    90%? Where did you get you stats from? Assumptions. There are sadly, many, many men who were sexually abused or neglected by their parents who turned to porn and sex to fulfill these needs. Of course, we are aroused by naked women- but for some, there is more to the story.


    "if the root cause of your porn use isn't handled, porn will inevitably creep back in your life" - root cause of the porn use is that as humans, we are sexual beings and we find sexual things arousing. so in order to quit porn, we have to... stop being humans?"
    A simplistic and very naive argument. "Root cause" means- WHY are you really addicted to porn. Some people are aroused by porn and other keep masturbating and watching it till they end up on this forum. Why?
    Why do some guys get stuck and porn, and other don't really care much about it? Aren't we all humans?
    The point is- there is a very specific reason as to why this occurs. When I found out why I was addicted to porn- that was the first step in my recovery.


    I am done defending myself. All my future posts will be constructive posts to others in the forum who need advice.
     
  14. JayKay

    JayKay Member

    Not sure if sarcasm, but if not, thank you and all the best to you!
     
  15. JayKay

    JayKay Member

    Thank you brother.
     
  16. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    Thanks for clarifying. As you know you have a tough position-there is plenty of anger at Rehab's that charge 100k and counselors that are inexperienced when the spiritual solution of AA for free has worked a lot better. It has turned into a HUGE business preying on desperation when the fact is the spiritual and free solution works.

    The same theory with other treatment "professionals" and centers. You seem to have experience and passion to help others so just keep it all up.
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2017
  17. I find your story to be motivating. I see you mentioned it took several years to get your brain back to normal in terms of sexualizing every woman you met. How long did it take you to get over PIED?
     
  18. JayKay

    JayKay Member

    @staythecourse Thank you for hearing me out and the encouraging words.
     
  19. JayKay

    JayKay Member

    @we can do this 40

    It took me roughly two and a ha;f years. Bear in mind, that it may not be the same for you- it could be less or more, so don't let it discourage you.

    In my case, there was a psychological and a biological reason.

    Psychologically, it was like a vicious cycle- I had a few bad experiences with PIED and women, so the nervousness caused me to underperform sexually.

    Biologically, as simple as this sounds, my brain needed to rewire it self AND I needed practice with real life sex as opposed to my hand.

    For guys struggling with PIED I recommend a four pronged approach:

    1) During recovery, get a hormone test and find out your testosterone levels. If abnormally low, talk to a medical professional about options for increasing your testosterone. This can have a huge impact o your sexual performance.

    2) Evaluate your psychological reaction to PIED- is it still PIED or just in your head. Easier said than done, of course-but this is a summary.

    3) Work on sex. Kegels to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles. Stay away from any "contraptions" that promise to help you work your muscles or help you "grow"- they typically lead to relapses.

    4) Supplement. Speak to a doctor about cialis or viagra or any of those- but only use them as a supplement. It is very easy to become dependent on them.

    Hope that helped.
     
  20. It did. Thanks for the reply!
     
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