8 years of severe PIED gone

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Guts, May 4, 2021.

  1. Guts

    Guts Active Member Staff Member

    I think it’s about time I do one of these. I never thought I would. This will probably be long and hard to read, I'm not a great writer so forgive me. If you want more details you can check out my journal https://yourbrainrebalanced.com/forum/index.php?threads/recovering-from-severe-pied.116477/


    Most guys are lucky when they find out they have PIED, they get with a girl and it doesn’t work. I found out when porn stopped working for me. I was a full blown severe case. I had actually watched Gary’s TED talk a little before it happened to me, I remember laughing and not believing in it at all. It took a doctor visit and a few months for me to see how wrong I was. I discovered YBOP around 2013 and from there my shitty depressing journey started.


    From the very start I tried just giving up porn for 90 days and kept masturbating. I was masturbating with a semi flaccid dick and ejaculating very quickly, it was not at all satisfying. Just giving up porn didn’t seem to be working for me. I noticed giving up both masturbation and orgasm for a few weeks resulted in much better erections, though I would still feel libido less and flatlined after an orgasm.


    For years I kept trying to beat my record of abstinence, only ever reaching 30 or 40 days, crying after masturbating because it felt like all my progress had gone after an orgasm. I thought all I had to do was get to 90 days hard mode and all of this would be gone. This became a really shitty cycle that went on for years. It took meeting a girl to help me get to 50 days of abstinence. Sex, if you can even call it that was still pretty much impossible, even after 50 days of hard mode I still could barely get an erection and would orgasm in seconds. She left me and honestly I wanted her to because I still thought all I had to do was just reach 90 days of abstinence.


    So then I did just that, I got to 84 days of complete abstinence hard mode, and it felt like I had made the most progress ever. I was getting full 100% erections everyday, I felt cured. All it took was one orgasm and I was right back at the bottom, flatline. This was probably my worst point in my journey, I had heavy thoughts of suicide, and I was obsessing over the idea that wet dreams were the reason I was never making progress (they weren’t). I would repeat the cycle of getting to 30 days hard mode and relapsing.


    At that point I relapsed to porn, I still couldn’t even get a full erection for porn at that time, I remember crying again and saying to myself “why the fuck am I still doing this if it doesn’t even make me feel good?” I said fuck it, to hell with PMO. So I tried to make a new life, I got a new job and pretty much pretended my dick didn’t exist. I think I had the most fun in my life around this time, I was doing my art, my job was great. I was able to reach 180 days of abstinence, full hard mode. I had felt fairly cured after breaking my streak of 180 days, it still wasn’t perfect. I would masturbate once after every two to four weeks, when I felt like I could. And yet I still wasn’t getting the erections I wanted and would still orgasm too quickly.


    For months this went on and I had another “fuck it” moment, I went 217 days of hard mode! Surely I should have been cured then? I relapsed to porn after that streak and I still could barely get an erection to it! Wtf was going on?


    I gave up. Longer streaks of hard mode weren’t getting me where I wanted to be, I couldn't keep doing it. So I started dating a girl and what do you know, it works. I read recovery stories where the guys said they couldn’t get aroused by their own hand but could have sex, it didn’t make any sense to me but it absolutely does now. Sex is completely different from masturbation and porn, so different. As I see it now, erections are only meant for sex.


    My thoughts on hard mode and rewiring are very different now. I used to be a heavy advocate for hard mode being the only way to recover. But now my answer is “I don’t know.” Did I have to go 217 days of abstinence for me to get to where I’m at now or did I just have to rewire? Was it the 2 years of roughly no porn? I don’t know.


    I will add that I am not where I used to be before I had PIED, I can’t have sex every day. Too many orgasms will leave me feeling flatlined for 4 to 5 days. I might only get a waking erection maybe once a week. I will use viagra to help with the second round, but I don’t need it for the first round and haven’t used it in a month now. I’ll admit I do peek at softcore stuff I stumble on randomly on the internet but haven’t seen or searched for any real hardcore videos in over 2 years now. I have sex 1-2 times a week now and I’m more than happy with where I’m at now.


    My best advice would be do what you feel works for you, but your number one rule should always be no porn, you have to accept that. I’ve seen several accounts of guys curing their PIED by just giving up porn alone. If orgasms send you into flatlines then try going long periods without them, it can’t hurt. But don’t get stuck in the cycle of trying to abstain until you are “cured”. Progress is so nonlinear I don’t think there is a point where you really truly know you are fully cured. For the longest I thought cured meant having multiple spontaneous erections a day and morning wood everyday, that didn’t happen to me and even when it did, one orgasm would shoot me down. Morning wood, spontaneous erections, and erections from visual stimulation mean absolutely nothing.

    I hate PIED but it did teach me humility, empathy and compassion. Thank you Gary for all that you've done, you saved my life. I've been on these forums for a long time and I’ll never leave them, if anyone has questions I'll try my best to answer them.


    -Guts
     
  2. JnanaYogiKarmaYogi

    JnanaYogiKarmaYogi New Member

    Congratulations,man!!! That's a superbly inspiring story.
    I am a 22 year old virgin. Started watching porn when I was 11 years old. Had no problem with erections while making out with women till I was 19. After that my porn use escalated and I discovered that I have PIED last December. Today completes my 5 months porn free and 2.5 months PMO free. I don't have a partner at this moment. But I feel like my recovery is plateauing maybe? At day 30 of hard-mode I could have consistent MW and nearly 100% erections with touch or without touch(with 'realistic' fantasy). But at day 75 I am at the same place as that. Am I expecting too much? Or do I need a partner to elevate this recovery plateau that I feel?
     
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  3. Pete McVries

    Pete McVries Well-Known Member

    Hi Guts,

    I'm truly happy to read your success story and I think you shared many interesting thoughts and ideas about the different ways to approach the recovery from PIED. Most importantly, I'm glad your state of mind is well again as PIED takes such a huge toll on mental health. Your story showed that recovery often times is not a linear process but rather an up and down type of journey. Determination and the ability to adapt can be key while not obsessing excessively over recovery. I mean, it is way easier said than done but pretending your dick doesn't exist, as you put it, could be a really good way to approach the rebooting phase where you put your sex life on hold for a while.

    Moreover, I can only confirm what you wrote about random erections when you are on your own or erection quality when you try to give yourself erections:
    While reading this, I thought, man we need a sticky thread for newcomers because this is really useful information especially when new rebooters always tend to have similar questions. I also want to add to that paragraph that erections on your own can fluctuate heavily without it necessarily having to be a sign for (bad) sexual health. For example last month, I felt like I was in a flatline with no sexual desire, morning wood and urges for about three weeks. The following week, I saw my girlfriend for a week and we had sex several times without a problem. A month before that, I was plagued by many random erections urges and sexual desire for three weeks but with the same result when I saw my girlfriend after that. What I'm trying to show (and I'm still learning about it, too) is that what happens when you are on your own is no valid precursor for the state of your actual sexual health. Bottom line: What counts is what happens when you are with a partner.

    I also want to comment on the sixty-four-thousand-dollar question "to masturbate or not to masturbate?". Just like you, I'm sure abstaining from porn or similar type of arousing material is the number one priority. And I'm also of the opinion that recovering from PIED while masturbating is possible. What I do think, though, is that one will benefit from an initial period of stopping to masturbate simply because all the images in your head are still fresh in the beginning of your reboot. Anyone who made it to the other side will sing you a song about the flashbacks and possibly disturbing porn dreams they experienced in the first 180 days or so. In my mind, it is very hard to keep them out of your mind when you masturbate being so early into the reboot. It's just such an integral part of the game one was playing for years and years before. So, in my mind, I think it is just logical that masturbating with these images in your mind (whether you're actively try to induce them or keep them away) in the early stage of your reboot can slow down your progress and recovery. But this is just my personal opinion and putting together the puzzle pieces. In the end, everyone has to find out individually what works or not.

    Lastly, I love what you wrote about what PIED has taught you. To me, it seems like you managed to accept your fate and transform a burdensome health problem into gains. You made peace with it and that seems to be a very good foundation for lasting sexual and mental health!

    Thank you for posting your story and I wish you all the best in going forward!
     
    Last edited: May 5, 2021
  4. Bilbo Swaggins

    Bilbo Swaggins Well-Known Member

    Amazing. Thanks a lot for sharing this, and congratulations to you. Really hope to be in your shoes one day.

    You’re the man! :cool:
     
    JnanaYogiKarmaYogi and Guts like this.
  5. zajanomlet

    zajanomlet New Member

    Congratulations Guts!

    You pointed out a very important issue. Not getting hard with porn even after long time of abstinence. Lately I relapsed after 9 months porn free and noticed that with porn I'm flat, but a few days before that I was hard with girlfriend. Just handjob, but difference in erection quality was huge. She stroked me just few times and I got hard, while with porn I coudn't get hard even with stroking a lot and I came with almost limp dick. During handjobs I'm solid. It was strage for me at the beggining, but I read similar stories so I guess it's normal.
     
  6. TrueDat

    TrueDat Active Member

    Great job, truly inspiring!
    I recognize all the symptoms you have described and my journey is very similar to yours. Good to see that there is hope to cure fullblown PIED even after years of trying. Wish you all the best.
     
    Bilbo Swaggins and Guts like this.
  7. Guts

    Guts Active Member Staff Member

    100%. I've had many times where I feel absolutely flatlined and yet surprised I can get an erection by a simple kiss or cuddle. I'm not at all shocked now that I don't get aroused by porn, I think the erection centers in the brain are so ancient that they know the difference between a real person and a computer screen. I should have listened to you and Doper, I think it's possible I may have been more recovered than I thought awhile ago.
     
  8. Guts

    Guts Active Member Staff Member

    I had the same thing happen to me. I'd get consistent MW, be able to get erections by touch, and then it would go randomly. I have seen recovery stories of guys getting consistent MW and that was their sign of being healed but as I said that never happened to me, but maybe it will happen for you. It wouldn't hurt to date and see your reaction. If you get into a sexual encounter and don't feel aroused then keep pushing hard mode, you will get there.
     
  9. Pete McVries

    Pete McVries Well-Known Member

    Don't be too hard on yourself as this whole healing process is such a unique and untransparent experience. I mean, it's not exactly comparable to healing a cold or so... ;). But your Acknowledgement will hopefully help others in gaining courage to see where they're at in their recovery by trying it out with a partner despite the fear of experiencing the whole range of negative emotions that might occur.
     
  10. Try til succes

    Try til succes New Member

    Thanks a lot for this thread, and all the guys who participated here and also the one created this site. Your comments keeps us relieved because past few we were reading about "some cases will never recover and can never be normal again" we entered a full depression but now after reading this I've gained some hope and see a brighter future and success. Thanks for your big effort using your minds critically and trying by all means to match the puzzles for the sake of healing the world!!! MAY YOU PLEASE CONTINUE HEALING PEOPLE LIKE US ON THIS SITE THANK YOU
     
  11. Bilbo Swaggins

    Bilbo Swaggins Well-Known Member

    Dude, can you stop giving unsolicited advice on everyone’s posts? It’s really unpleasant, and most of the time you’re off-topic.

    This thread is a success story from a guy who cured his ED by abstaining from porn. Start your own thread if you want to give your own personal opinions on the subject. On this forum, we think that porn causes ED. You’re free to think otherwise, but please stop derailing other people’s threads.
     
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  12. Way to go Guts. You have done a great job. I am so happy to read this. We might not know or never see each other, but we are together in this shithole and we are going to get out.

    I bet that your refractory period will improve by a lot. Finally, you won't be having these 4-5 days flatline you do have now. Just keep it as a permanent lifestyle. Never revert to PMOing.

    Just a friendly advice from personal experience: I was almost cured, like you are now, and I wrote a success story like three years ago. Then I broke up with my girlfriend for unrelated to sex reasons (actually sexuality was left the only decent and fulfilling thing in this relationship), and I thought that ''healthy masturbation to memories '' once a week won't hurt, will it? And now I am back to flatline, PIED and trying to escape again.

    Congrats again. Use your sexuality properly from now on.
     
  13. axebattler

    axebattler Member Staff Member

  14. Youngdawg

    Youngdawg Member

    Congrats man, so all in all how many years of noporn did it take so you think?
     
    Babylonier likes this.
  15. Guts

    Guts Active Member Staff Member

    I feel like I saw the most changes after 2 years, but I believe I could have had decent sex around the first year.
     
  16. Anonymous86

    Anonymous86 Member

    Did you ever notice mental psychological symptoms improving after starting your NoFap porn streak reboot?
     

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