42 divorced - visions of ex are required

Discussion in 'Erectile Dysfunction / Delayed Ejaculation' started by hotel79, Dec 9, 2021.

  1. hotel79

    hotel79 New Member

    So most of my marriage was jerking off to porn and then thinking of my sexy wife at the same time. She has a great body and I was totally into her. But she shut me out and nothing I could do to get her back. So I ended it.

    Now I'm single for 4 months, living on my own, I have a cool girlfriend who is fun, sweet and sexually ravenous. I had no idea women want sex so much.

    Anyway, When my girlfriend and I first started having sex I wasn't able to maintain an erection. The sex would go on for what shocked me.... 20 or more minutes of 60% erection sex. With my ex wife 8 years ago it would be 90 seconds! So I get Viagra and it worked. Much fuller erections but it will still fizzle after a while with no orgasm. So I'm in my head. I have stopped watching porn for the last month. I'm not into it, really. The idea of sitting here alone with my phone jerking off is depressing to me when I have a real girl who wants it. That said, I spent probably the last 6 years watching porn while married so I'm sure I have some PIED.

    Now the point of this post is that I will have this awesome girl giving me oral sex and trying so hard to give me an orgasm and what gets me there? Visions of my ex taking off her underwear and opening up her legs to me. Wow that is so effed up. Once I think of that I will ejaculate in her mouth quite quickly.

    Just like porn, I assume that these visions have hijacked my brain/orgasm/reward connection. What would be the plan to get over this? STOP thinking about it and just enjoy the moment with the new girl? My concern is that I've had so many nights of a good hour of sexual activity and no orgasm. That sucks so bad I'll do whatever it takes to get off. But doing whatever it takes, is thinking of my ex wife's body, and I hate it. I think I'm perpetuating the problem.

    My current plan is: continue no porn. Do not jerk off at all. Save all sex for the real girl. Do not think of the ex and hope that the no jerking off will get me to appreciate the new girl.

    Thoughts on this?
  2. hotel79

    hotel79 New Member

    I don't know, maybe I don't have this problem. My plan seems to work. Had great sex twice this weekend. I only get erections when im around the girl. That's odd. But hey, fine by me.
  3. PhoenixSun

    PhoenixSun New Member

    Sounds like a good plan and a place to start. I have had DE for several years and I am doing the exact same routine. I have some other physical health issues such as low testosterone and prostate surgery. I think it will take a long time.

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