41 and never realized it was this bad!

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by ResetMe, Jul 26, 2015.

  1. ResetMe

    ResetMe Member

    Good Job Gabriel, keep it up.

    Update, since I have not posted for a while. Had successful sex a little over a week ago. Found some time and privacy, and was excited. Just wanted to make sure everything was working.

    Have continued to have lots of panic attacks when my mind is free... Will meditate and see if it helps...
     
  2. ResetMe

    ResetMe Member

    Have not been on board much. Pretty busy with life. Continue with lots of morning wood. I think I'm am finally starting to objectify women less. It's getting much easier not to stare. A quick glance to appreciate the beauty is enough.

    Had some time and had a good make out session. Trying not to think so much and just enjoy and appreciate. Since I was not paying attention I didn't realize I was probably hard for a while. I used to try and keep track, and it was probably counter productive. Decided to go for it. Was able to get get undressed and take care of a couple of things without loosing it. Don't think I lasted too long though. Tried to take it slow but seemed to O pretty quickly. Did stay hard for a while so tried to make it enjoyable for GF as long as I could....

    The panic attacks seems to have gone... Have not started meditating yet.
     
  3. ResetMe

    ResetMe Member

    Don't have much new news to report.

    Things seem to be mostly working. Getting hard with gf is not hard. The problem is staying hard for more than 30-45+ min or getting hard after the first duration (no PIV or O). I'm starting to think it might be un-realistic to get hard a second time all the time when I've already been hard for so long and loose it.

    If I don't wait too long before entering I don't seem to have a problem.

    Tried to have sex a couple weeks ago and gave her oral for too long, then I could not get it back up.

    One night we could not have sex, but I got rock hard while we were making out. GF gave me a hand job and I O after a while. That's my first hand job in almost a year. I figure it's okay because it was not by me, there was no P, and it was by her.

    Was able to have great sex last night when I got hard shortly after getting in her bed, and went for it quickly, erection was solid, lasted a few minutes. Not able to last too long, thinking that might be caused by how infrequently I'm having sex?

    Will probably check at my 1 year of no PMO.

    Should I be considering myself healed?
     
  4. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    I love reading about the progress you've made. Congrats on having gone so long without P dragging you down.

    At 41 you are a healthy and virile male. One thing I've noticed a lot here is that many, if not most, of the men here spend a lot of time inside their own heads; I include myself in this category. We've taken introspection to the level of an Olympic sport. At some point we have to stop taking our inventory, stop the editing and self-criticism, and just live. In baseball if the pitcher over thinks what he's doing it can wreck his career. After all, his job is just to throw the bloody ball. Ball in hand, pitch! I believe stronly that most of us suffer from low-level depression. What causes this could be anything and everything, but constant assessment of our penises is not going to help. I read it over and over here: "had 50% erection today." "Held erection for 10 minutes before going soft." "Had good wood until we took our clothes off." Fuck, that is a lot of self-assessment...and pressure.

    Anyway, all of this is to say that I can see incredible movement in your life. Try not to analyze yourself too much and just enjoy where you're at. Remember, you're doing this for you, not your gf, not your ex-wife, not your mom and dad, not your kids. You like eating your gf out and that's awesome, but forget about what she needs. Stick your dick in and enjoy yourself. I'm still learning this, too, btw. I've had PIED and worried about everyone else's orgasm, but my own. Now, I want to revel in my own self. Before I pleased women because I was afraid they wouldn't like me if I didn't make them cum first. We have a right to take care of our needs!

    Peace bro'. We're all in this together. There is momentum here that is helping to create lasting and profound change. 8)
     
  5. ResetMe

    ResetMe Member

    Glad to hear Saville.

    I usually only think about things after so I can collect my thoughts and progress. My times are so estimated because of that. I'm pretty in the moment and just enjoying. I do realize this is for me and not anyone else. At the same time I know when I can perform well, I can get more because it's more enjoyable for the other party also, and it will be more enjoyable for me.... I'm going for the upward spiral...

    I wish you the best with your progress. There's not much to loose by giving up PMO.
     
  6. ResetMe

    ResetMe Member

    This is a new one for me. Had a little time away from everything with GF last night. Didn't want to take chances so went for it right away as soon as I was ready... Which was pretty much instantly when I got into bed with her... Didn't even have time to fool around, and had to just rip cloths off fearing I might loose it. Ended up going for a good amount of time, and focused on my GF after I finished. She had a great time while we did it, and an even better time after I was done. Her words were "OMG that was great!" I noticed I started getting a semi a couple of times as I was taking care of her. We were totally exhausted which was great, and we went to bed.

    In the morning I had morning wood, and even had it back a little after I took a pee. So in I went again, but lost it after a while. It felt great for both of us, and we just made out for a little while. Then I started to get another erection so I put it back in, and after a couple of pumps I was fully hard again, she was a bit surprised, and so was I . We went at it hard for a little bit and I finished again. We were both sastified! 2 complete O in less than 12 hours. And 3 full PIV to O within a week! And I continued getting semi and maybe a full one throughout the day. No sexual activities for the rest of the day, we were just out and about.

    Going to take a little break. But I've been noticing I've been wanting her all day long.

    This is great progress for me. I'll just continue to relax and let things happen. Hopefully I'll be fully recovered soon! MW pretty much every morning that I can remember. I think I just need to work out the PA.
     
  7. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    I was just reading a bit before I rushed out the door to work. I wasn't going to take the time to post, but your news is just too good not to. Three orgasms in the space of a week with your GF? This is major league recovery, resetme.

    [glow=red,2,300]WAHHHOOOOO!!!
     
  8. ResetMe

    ResetMe Member

    Taking a break has not been too successful... I have not been around to update much, but since July 4th I've had at least 2 other PIV O's. Even had more recovery where I went soft after being hard while we were getting undressed. We were able to get it back up and PIV all the way. Even tried a new position.

    GF seems to be really enjoying it. Going to continue just working on eliminating the PE. Hoping some I can be rock hard until I O without going soft at any point. Getting close to 365 days of no M.

    Thanks Saville, resist the urge to MO, it's worth it!
     
  9. ResetMe

    ResetMe Member

    Well I have not been keeping track of anything too much and just trying to enjoy the moment. Turns out the day after quitting PMO for 1 year I had a pretty good night.

    It started with me giving my GF oral to the point she could not handle it anymore. Then she just wanted PIV. I did loose too much hardness to give her PIV after all the oral. But since we had a get away with just the 2 of us and she failed to help me enough I decided we should just cuddle naked and just do what ever comes up. Some how magically on cue it came up shortly after. Didnt get rock hard, but enough to get the job done. We went shopping for a little after, and shortly after leaving the hotel she was weak in the legs and could not walk for a little..... Wonder if I had anything to do with that?

    After dinner we got back and I wanted to cuddle naked with her some more. So what happens? Lets just say I could have scratched diamonds! My GF really enjoyed it this time. It had been a long day, lots of physical exercise, and sexual exercise. We were exhausted. We called it a night and went to bed.

    Then early this morning, my gf wakes and wakes me up because she got jabbed. So we figured we better not waste it. But before I got in here I loss too much hardness. After some more foreplay I got hard enough, and we scored another touchdown! Lasted about 15 minutes, I was not timing but knew because I got a text right before we started, and I noted the time when I checked my phone after we were done. We went for breakfast, on our way out of the room she nearly fell because she was weak in the knees. 8)

    In less than 20 hours I was able to go 3 times! Feeling like a rock star! I think I'm slowing getting past the PA.

    In summary, I feel NoArousal works. I often have desire to O and feel that I should MO. But I resist. If I'm gonna O there better be a female involved, and she's not gonna be pixels or in my head.

    Feel free to ask any questions about my year in this. I'll answer to the best of my ability.

    Stay Strong my no PMO brothers! Sometimes it seems the end will never come. But it has to at some point!
     
  10. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    This is epic, ResetMe. It just goes to show that recovery is both fast and slow and ever changing, but eventually, given the time and determination we become whole. And, even more amazing is that we heal, not just in the bedroom, but in many areas of our lives.

    Great update!!
     
  11. ResetMe

    ResetMe Member

    Things are continuing well. Have not had any issues or sessions where I am having problems. Maybe the PA is gone? I am still trying to work on lasting longer. Tried some karrezza. I started up being totally hard so there were no issues entering. I didn't really talk to her about it before, ended up just putting it in and making out with her. I tend to be pretty hard when making out with her anyway. I did notice she seem to really enjoy it. She noticed lots of movement even though we were not thrusting. about 30-60 min later I changed positions a little and started doing some thrusting. I didn't last very long after that started and forgot to try and hold the O, about a minute or so and I had O. Felt great the whole time, was a little tired today, but I think it was from sleeping only about 5 hours rather than because I O. It has been awhile since I O anyway, about a month.

    We did chat a little this morning. And she really enjoyed it. So will try this out for a while, since I really enjoy being in her. I've always wanted to be inside for a long time, but never had a willing partner before. Pretty excited. Hope I can be fully recovered soon!
     
  12. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Hey, guy, your last post had me panting. ;) Look atchu go, bruv. :D

    I love all this healing that is happening on here. WOOT!!
     
  13. ResetMe

    ResetMe Member

    Sometimes good sometimes bad..... Still working on it. First for the bad. Last week I had an quick opportunity with the gf. We were making out and things were all good, but lost some hardness after getting undressed. Tried to rub myself on her to get back hard. Was super sensitive, and ended up blowing it in 20 seconds before I even got hard again..... Total PE, didn't even PIV. What happened, some days....

    Now the good... Just got back from a short get away with the GF. Much better since I didn't have any time pressures. I fugured the first time I would just take care of her first, and then I would not have to stress about not pleasing her, I know I need to really focus on myself more, but it's hard if I know I didn't go a good job on her. After a while of giving her oral I went for it myself, amazed I was still able to get hard quickly after the last incident. Didn't go really long, maybe 5-15 min? But it felt great. Was very sensitive still so I did have to stop shortly after getting in as I didn't want to blow before I got to enjoy some me time. After waiting a few seconds I went at it for the remaining time till I came. Then the next morning my phone was ringing from some solicitor at 6 am, and I forgot to turn off my ringer the night before.... Then was not really able to get back to sleep. But the Thunder Down Under was also up shortly after I urinated and got back to bed. Well figured better not waste a good thing, and I decided to take it easy this morning, since we were already feeling good from before bed and this was going to be the cherry on top. Took it really easy and did some Karrezza again. We both really enjoyed it for about 45 minutes. I was amazed I was still rock hard after that long! I decided to go hard at it again... This no O thing is really gonna need some work, I'm not doing that part so well. After about 15 min it happened! She O while we PIV, and I did also! There were a couple of times that I though maybe it happened in the past, but this was amazing! And even after we finished she was mind blown, she even mentioned it! Turns out this was not a cherry on top, we just had the all you can eat desert buffet!!!

    Had a great rest of the day, and when we got back that evening back and before we went to bed we noticed someone was looking for action. We were pretty tired from the long day but decided to have a quick one, we did and I can say I'm really happy from this get away. I really needed it.

    So some days are better than some, still not fully healed, but much better than before I quit MO. I have occasionally peeked at some tame nude pics recently, prior to the last failed attempt. No MO as I'm not doing that ever again. Very hard to convince myself I don't like nude girls. I need to focus on only looking at my GF, as I think this still impacts my performance. After this week I think it will be easier to convince my brain....

    Stay Strong brothers, even the smallest peek can be harmful.....
     
  14. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Another great post that makes me want to fuck my brains out...with my wife. :D

    Awesome post, dude.
     
  15. ResetMe

    ResetMe Member

    Hope everyone had a great Christmas.

    Lost my password and have not updated in a while. I thought I would chime in.

    On the no O front..... I've totally failed that, every time I have sex I O at least once.....

    For the good news, I think I'm pretty much healed...

    Just a couple nights ago I was kissing the GF, which lead to some fondling. I might have been hard even before I starting kissing her, just the anticipation of it was enough. Lately she has been fondling me when we kiss also, and I've been able to stay hard the whole time. Now I'll just need to figure out if she can raise me with just touch.

    During one of our make out sessions we both got naked. I'm really trying hard not to focus on the situation and just enjoy the moment. Somehow as we made out I had gotten completely hard and went inside her. It was a bit of a surprise for both of us, and we just laughed and went at it.

    Sensitivity is through the roof, it's hard for me not to O once we start going, I'm only ok when we stay mostly still or very genital intercourse. Once time I was so sensitive I O as I was trying to PIV.... May be dealing with some PE issues occasionally. Overall way better than where I started.

    Going to leave the counter as I cant find my password and don't remember the exact day of the last O. I do have the urge to have sex every day.

    Have a happy new year!
     
  16. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Wow, the above is great news! Yesterday I O'd inside my wife and she said "you were hardly moving." To me it wasn't a big deal, but she's used to me plowing her. ;) We are rediscovering our bodies. I'm finding the whole thing a pretty cool trip. Before I had DE really bad and needed a hand job to cum, if I could at all. I just take the O's as they come and enjoy! :D Talk to you next year.
     
  17. ResetMe

    ResetMe Member

    It's been a while since I posted. I will say I still believe the ED is gone. PE is still an issue. Mostly likely because sex is infrequent. I'm at the total other side now. The slightest intercourse will make me O. For many years it would take me a long time to O. I'm guessing it's due to the frequent MO.

    I have continued to refrain from MO since the start of this. I think MO would help me with PE. However I'm going to wait and see if I can solve that issue with frequent sex!:) Timeing has been very hard so it's been a long time since I last O'ed... Due to the PE, I dont feel like trying unless I have enough time to go a second round. Which usually can last much longer, and long enough to make the gf O.

    After reading about Saville about oggling. I'm reminded how much of an issue that is for me. Cant be avoided since I live in a big city. It's hot, and most the women are not wearing much. Many times seeing women like this causes my heart to race. Just the sight of my gf's body springs me to life!

    I've resorted to looking at some mild pics on internet once every couple of months. Not seeing my GF frequently is a horrible excuse. I really need to totally stop...
     
  18. fcjl8

    fcjl8 The only path for me

    Hi ResetMe... just reading of your positive progress. Very inspiring... I am sure I do not have to say this... watch the "mild pics". Everytime I have fallen back into full blown PMO it has started with very "innocent" images. I have lost some very long streaks to this temptation. And the resulting binges have been horrible.

    I think your PE is to be expected as part of the recovery. So great that you have a GF to reboot to, I do not know if I could without my wife and our intimacy.

    Stay well brother.
     
    TriGuy60 likes this.
  19. ResetMe

    ResetMe Member

    Just a update. For me things still are not perfect. It's still hard to get it started. PE still happens. Cant always get it when I need it. However after the pe things seem to be much better. So nothing quick, but marathon sessions are good!

    Other updates. I stopped keeping track..... Last time I peeked was months ago... Sex has been very infrequent for a while, due to schedule and other things. I did try MO once months ago, without porn of fantasy. It was very unrewarding. Occasional have a wet dream once in a while (months.) Wake up most mornings with wood.... Have urges all the time. Hoping we can try it out in a another month when we have a get away planed.
     

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