41 and never realized it was this bad!

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by ResetMe, Jul 26, 2015.

  1. ResetMe

    ResetMe Member

    No MW... still no WD. Cant believe I've went this long with no O.

    I've watched some of Gabe's videos, and started thinking I need to work harder on my no arousal. I'm probably still giving my brain dopamine hits. I've worked really hard on no ogling. I still struggle with initially noticing but I'm making progress, actively choosing not to follow through. I need to focus on blocking out all forms of arousal. A couple nights ago I was doing a evening walk with my GF. She stopped in front of a lingerie store and commented how beautiful an item was. I started thinking about how she would look in it and told her she would look fantastic in it, and started getting excited.... After I watched Gabe's video I remembered I need stop all forms of arousal during this time. If I'm not having a reaction when I see this stuff am I still getting dopamine form it? Off to find more answers...
  2. ResetMe

    ResetMe Member

    Continuing with inconsistent MW I've noticed some mornings the MW stays a long time as long as I don't go. Sometimes over 15 minutes. Did a pretty good job not looking around and looking away asap. Will keep focusing on that. Cant believe I'm almost at 60 days!
  3. ResetMe

    ResetMe Member

    Had a good make out session last night with my GF. She noticed I was very excited (must have been that way for at least 10-15 minutes) and guess she was really in the mood. She just about attacked me last night. As we started getting naked I felt myself loosing a little rigidity... I decided I would not worry about it and just continued making out. Then after a little got a bit harder again. GF was pretty into the moment so I decided to go for it. I didn't stay 100% hard, but enough to have some good PIV action. Not sure how long I lasted but I completed! I'll have to make sure to give her extra attention next time.

    Need to stick with the program for sure, things are getting better! ;D
  4. ResetMe

    ResetMe Member

    I had to do a long dive yesterday. I spent a lot of the time listing to the Gary Wilson radio show. I think I confirmed that since did my initial wiring was to real women and I never got into the really hard core porn and did not escalate as much many of the younger users I should be able to do the quicker reboot. On my drive I think I drove past 2 guys taking pictures with a topless girl by the side of the high way, that really got the adrenaline going! I shortly learned that I need to just focus on something else, and not worry about what I saw. I resisted the urge to go back and find out for sure if it was a girl, and to look more. What incredible timing to be at the Gary talks.... Going to have to finish the Gary talks, lots of good information.
  5. ResetMe

    ResetMe Member

    Almost done with all the Gary talks. Not much new, still dealing with triggers all around. Decided I'm not going to focus much on it. Continuing to take it easy and not try much on the sexual front. did not feel any bad side effects after the last O, it's been a while now. Overall I think the equipment is working much better. May still have some PA.
  6. ResetMe

    ResetMe Member

    I tried things a little different last night. Instead of getting worked up and then seeing if I would work my gf and I just got naked and made out. I did start getting erect, and after playing with her and rubbing on her for a while I was pretty hard. So I decided to just go for it. I didn't really track time, but I started slow for a while, must have went for at least 5-10 minutes. After a while I went fast and finished. I left out lots of details, but I think overall it was good for both of us because at the end we were both soaking in sweat and my gf told me she was exhausted..... I think that meant she was satisfied. I didn't seem ready for a second round, so I left it at that. This morning I did start getting hard again in the shower when I remembered part of the night. Almost at 90 days. I cant believe I've went this long without PMO!

    Keep on going with the program!
  7. ResetMe

    ResetMe Member

    Okay, 100 days into my reboot. Continue to take things slow. So far I still have feelings to look at porn, and check out women. Especially provocatively dressed women..... During this reboot I've O only 2x and both were PIV, not PMO :D I'm starting to feel better about my erections. I think I'm starting to last longer. Not sure if PA is gone yet..... Have not tried getting hard again after getting soft.... Going to continue to stay away from P. I want to MO, but I'm going to stay away from that for a while also.
  8. Florida22

    Florida22 Member

    Congratulations on 100 days! That's exciting. Keep pushing forward.

    I would say MO - ing is a bad idea - it messes with your mind big time.

    It's fun reading your profile.
  9. ResetMe

    ResetMe Member

    Thanks Florida I hope things are continuing well for you. I know I should just have sex if I want to O.... I really should not be lazy and want to MO. I have noticed that I start getting really hard just thinking about having sex with my gf. I try not to do that much as I realize it is still fantasizing. I think I read somewhere that it was good if you are just thinking of the real person you have sex with, and don't get crazy turning into a porn scene. It was not that long ago I was not getting any sign of life just thinking about sex. It also often happens when I just put my hand on her thighs, I think I'm wiring well.
  10. ResetMe

    ResetMe Member

    112 days into this time. So far my thoughts and feelings. Being with GF makes me hard a lot! We don't often get a chance to have sex, the last 2 times we tried I was successful and have been recorded in my O log... It's been a while and I'm looking forward to trying again, I'm hoping 3 success in a row will really help me get over the PE I had. Will continue to take it easy.

    Other notes, I still have urges to MO, and have desire to look at porn. Maybe this is the result of not being able to completely block out p subs... Too many provocatively dressed women around... I realize I'm choosing to look, however I have cut down a lot on the duration. Still waiting for the day this gets easier.
  11. ResetMe

    ResetMe Member

    After reading some other journals, I'm not sure that I have desire to look at porn. I'm starting to think that I'm just constantly curious because I never got into too much fetishes and exotic porn. My porn of choice was pretty simple.... Women being sexy all around.... I'm starting to think that curiosity will never go away....
  12. ResetMe

    ResetMe Member

    A couple of updates. I had a moment of weakness last night. I was at the supermarket. I kept glancing over at a couple girls way too much. I eventually starting staring at one. I felt my heart racing after a little while, must have caused an adrenaline rush. None of it caused an erection though. Now that I think back about it, I do notice a difference. I didn't have any urges to look for porn or MO last night. I think I'm going to try the 2 second rule were I don't look for more than 2 seconds.

    I woke up this morning with mild MW. Then i notice something different. Shortly after urination I went to 100%, and it stayed for about 10-15 minutes, I'm guessing 10-15 because I woke from my alarm clock and not sure when I went to 100%, but I know I didn't got flaccid till 15 min after, I'm not sure how long my MW was around because I was unconscious before the alarm. The erection was maintained by simply being aware I was erect and wanted to stay erect. No porn thoughts or any touch were used at all. I think my brain has started rewiring a lot. The old self would just grabbed it and MO at the thoughts of last night or fire up some porn. After a little while I did think that it would be nice if my GF were next to me and we could try it out. But it was not the porn or objectifying types of thought, I'm not articulating well this morning, but I hope the idea is coming through...
  13. ResetMe

    ResetMe Member

    Still far from healed..... Tried 2 nights ago. Once again, everything good untill I took my cloths off. Seems like if I give oral first then it's all over. I'm thinking that I wont have pressure to perform if I take care of the GF first and give her a O. Maybe I'm just staying hard too long if I take care of her first, then nothing left when I want to PIV. So disappointing....
  14. ResetMe

    ResetMe Member

    I'm hoping this is a good sign. Today while I was waiting at the playground with my kids, one of the moms was there. She is one of the ones I used to enjoy watching. After starting this reboot I've mostly stopped watching her along with many other moms. I didn't do any staring today, a quick sight of her gave me a semi, and a tingling sensation I have not felt in a long time. I was starting to feel alive there! It's been a long time since I've gotten a semi at the sight of a woman. Not feeling any other urges expect to have some sex....

    I'm also noticing it's been a while since I've O now, 58 days! Probably the longest I have went without o in the last 30+ years. Maybe I should go a full 90 days with O and see if that helps?
  15. ResetMe

    ResetMe Member

    A few interesting updates. Not sure if it was from the fresh mountain air, or day 150 of being PMO free, or 62 days of no O.... 3 nights ago I woke up in the middle of the night to pee, was not really morning yet so I don't know if it's morning wood, but a major pee related one... Now that's not uncommon, but then throughout the rest of the night and morning before I completely got up I had at least another 3 spontaneous ones. Too bad GF was hours away to try any of them. Then on day 151 of PMO free and 63 days of no O I had a wet dream. Last wet dream was about a year ago, a period of time where I had much reduced PMO and no sexual partner at the time (I was not committed to eliminating PMO at the time). I was also at about the same place geographically. So once again, I'm not sure if this was all because of the fresh mountain air or my lack of O and PMO....

    Now how did I feel after the wet dream??? Very wet... More seriously, it did not feel like any set back. No huge urges to look at porn. It felt good, but I wish I could have PIV and O in my GF instead, but that was not an option..... I didn't feel drained. I don't feel any fog.

    Am I supposed to reset my O counter???
  16. ResetMe

    ResetMe Member

    Had a great day today. Finally some alone time with GF. It's been forever! I got really hard as we were making out. I decided to keep things really low pressure for myself and not think about anything. We were able to move from on room to another without loosing it. However I lost most of it when getting undressed. I just continued to kiss, touch, and enjoy looking at her body and it did not take long to get rock hard again. PIV for a little while, not sure how long, but she got a lot of enjoyment, and after what felt like a few minutes I O'ed in her. Was not very intense pumping. I do remember when I was MO a lot I did have to pump pretty vigorously in order to O while PIV. Finished her off manually. Much improved over last time where I could not PIV. 67 days since last O while PIV. Last O was about 5 days ago with wet dream. Feel great after O, lots of energy.
  17. ResetMe

    ResetMe Member

    This reboot works so weird.

    I was able to maintain an erection and from what I can tell it was probably 90-100% for what was probably at least 30 min as we were making out and lots of touching. I was able to get both of us fully undressed and still maintain. continued just enjoying the moment. When I went for PIV I lost it! I was so devastated... It was not totally gone.. I continued to have a semi... but not enough for any PIV.... Maybe it was PA.. Maybe I was just tired, it was really late, or early, or what ever...

    I'm starting to think I'm healing along well... I dont remember the last time I was able to stay hard this long, must have been a long time ago.... I felt like I was a teenager again.
  18. ResetMe

    ResetMe Member

    Getting close to 50% of my goal. I realize it's not a magic number. But this has been the longest I've ever went without PMO or MO. Really didn't think I could make it this far. But I knew I had to try.

    A little update. 17 days into this new year and things are continuing to go well. I've recently started traveling for work again. What does this mean? In the past it meant a lot of time sitting in my hotel room looking for porn and MO. I was pleasantly surprised that I didn't even think about it once. I didn't even realize it until I was thinking back a few minutes ago to jot down my thoughts. This is what I did do. Talk to my kids on the phone. Talk to my GF. Hung out with some co-workers. Worked extra hours. Went for a run.

    All good.

    Got to spend some time with my GF this weekend. It was really nice. Not much alone time, and no time to get busy. Did get some time to some quick making out. Was pretty much rock solid during each of the sessions. GF even noticed it. Looking forward to next weekend where we can have some alone time. I would like to try things out...... By that time we will be over 50% into my planed year of no PMO. Will also be a good 3 weeks since last O.

    I think it helped me keep porn thoughts away by staying off this forum while I was traveling. Going to cut back on my visits on this site. Will occasionally drop by to check up on a few people I communicate with. Will continue to record my thoughts, hope this can help someone some day....
  19. ResetMe

    ResetMe Member

    Had a very good weekend. Got rock hard after making out for a little while. So I just went for it on Saturday Night the 23rd. Was worried, since I didn't sleep much on Friday night, did a lot of driving for our weekend get away. I was pleasantly able to stay hard and did lots of slow pumping for a good 10-15 minutes, then went all out for a while. GF really enjoyed the ride and really got into it. Woke up rock hard Sunday morning. But didn't have any time and had to get going, lots of places to visit. Got many erections through out the day, from holding hands and quick kisses. Went for it on Sunday night, and lost it.... So I ended up just focusing on her. Woke up Monday morning rock hard, went to the bathroom, and still had it. It stayed for a while, so after 5 min I woke my GF up, and we went for it. Must have been about 10-15 minutes, then finished.

    I think I'm making very good progress. It has been about a month since my last O, and then had 2 within 48 hours, and felt great. Wonder if I should push for 3? Or should I just pump slow and long and not O? Still have some PA...

    Been in a hotel by myself for many days in a row this week. Did not even want to fire up any P. Did think sexually about GF occasionally. Did not MO. Morning Wood almost every day.
  20. Fiddler

    Fiddler Active Member

    Hi ResetMe,

    just found about your journal and read your story: I also started early with P, after 20 with real sex and was generally pretty horny during most of my youth. Last year I got my first girlfriend and have discovered to have PIED, mostly like you: I'm hard during making out, hard with oral sex (80% of the time) but have problems in PIV. Morning woods every day too.

    Sorry in advance if I'm asking you an old question, but have you thought about your PC muscle? Maybe our ED is muscle-related as there's the libido and there's the rewiring with a girl we find attractive but we don't have erections that "lock", not each time at least.

    Stay strong!

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