38-year-old virgin

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by Londoner, Mar 25, 2016.

  1. Thebeg

    Thebeg Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear all that Londoner, wishing you all the strength.
  2. Deleted User

    Deleted User Guest

    Hang in there, try to squeeze in some exercise to calm the brain. Even if it's some pushups.
  3. cjm

    cjm Well-Known Member

    Hey S

    I know we have spoken recently, but just to say I echo the sentiments of the other guys and im really sorry you are having such a shitty time. Planning to see James next week for dinner, so ill get in touch with you at the time to see if your up for it

    PS my phone is broken so not contactable via whatsapp for now

  4. Londoner

    Londoner Well-Known Member

    Thanks guys, I appreciate the good thoughts.
    cjm likes this.
  5. Londoner

    Londoner Well-Known Member

    Depression and suicidal thoughts seem to be hitting me lately, I think I may need to ask for therapy again.
  6. Thebeg

    Thebeg Well-Known Member

    How are the "basics" of your life? Food and sleep quality, your workout regimen, socializing with people and optionally meditation. Having these in order seems to help a ton to feel good. Especially socializing has proven enormously beneficial for me.

    Of course a therapist can help more.
  7. cjm

    cjm Well-Known Member

    yeah mate, try and get some help - thats an alarm bell ringing. Also try that hypnotherapy link i sent you. See you next week
  8. Londoner

    Londoner Well-Known Member

    I need to post here every day for accountability as the last few weeks have been a write-off.

    I tend to stay up late watching TV most nights - I think I should spend that time reading a book and away from screens with potential triggers, though it'll be hard to give up winding down with cartoons each night.

    Gym attendance has been poor lately. It's a mood lifter, so it could explain my low mood lately, but I'm also going to give @cjm's hypnotherapy recordings a try right now.
    Thebeg and cjm like this.
  9. cjm

    cjm Well-Known Member

    yeah give it a try mate

    i used to wind down with cartoons every night too, usually south park, then i changed to first reading, now mostly the hypnotherapy. I realised how much influence what we take in, in this sensory way, and found that "goddammit" for example was a favourite of my internal dialogue, because of how much ive watched southpark. Now i love southpark, and thats not going to change, but replacing it with something more positive on the way to sleep I think is very beneficial.

    "feeling good" is also a really good book

    Also dont be too harsh on yourself as you are going through a tough period with your father, and it would be difficult for anyone to be feeling good at this stressful and unpleasant time :)
    Londoner and 100DaysMission like this.
  10. 100DaysMission

    100DaysMission Active Member

    I agree, take it easy dude, and just keep yourself as relaxed as possible.
    I think that means going to the gym when you can, but also not beating yourself up too much when you don't.
    Thinking of you, mate.
    Londoner likes this.
  11. Thebeg

    Thebeg Well-Known Member

    Try to hold on the good patterns despite the circumstances. Especially when something requires effort to keep up for you - such as the gym - it's better to keep the momentum going. And you may feel better too.

    How is your dad doing?
  12. Londoner

    Londoner Well-Known Member

    It's been an awful week. My dad passed away on Monday evening and the funeral was on Friday. I'm not sure it's really sunk in properly yet, but I need to go back to work tomorrow as the bereavement leave is only five days.

    I'm on a streak of 7 days with only some minor urges to watch P. They're not even sexual urges - just looking for that dopamine hit, I guess - but I went back to the gym today for the first time in over two weeks and feel better for it.
  13. Thebeg

    Thebeg Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry to hear that mate, my condolences. Hope you'll be alright soon, just take your time with this.
    Londoner likes this.
  14. TheScriabin

    TheScriabin Well-Known Member

    My sympathies Londoner, sorry to hear of your loss. Take care.
    Londoner likes this.
  15. 100DaysMission

    100DaysMission Active Member

    Lots of kind thoughts for you and everyone connected to your dad.
    Take it easy, that bereavement leave sounds unjust.
    All the best, mate.
    Londoner likes this.
  16. Living

    Living Well-Known Member

    Really sorry to hear about your dad. It's a sad thing to lose someone that has always been beside you. Take your time to deal with this and like @Raskolnikov said: there is a part of him that will never leave you. Cherish the good stuff you did together, the advices he gave and everything you shared with him.
  17. TheScriabin

    TheScriabin Well-Known Member

    Hope you are doing ok. No pressuring yourself, and give yourself time to heal. Also try to be with loved ones and friends as much as you feel able.
  18. Gondapa

    Gondapa Member

  19. Londoner

    Londoner Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your replies, guys. I'm getting back into a normal routine now.

    I found out this evening that a cousin of mine died today, although, unlike my dad, she had been ill for quite a long time. I didn't see her that often, but we were pretty close when I did. She was only about a year older than me.

    I'm on a two-week clean streak now. I have next to no libido - I'm pretty sure if there was a naked woman in front of me right now, I wouldn't feel anything. I do still have some urges to watch P during the day, just not for any sexual release.
  20. 100DaysMission

    100DaysMission Active Member

    Oh my friend, it never rains, it pours.
    I'm proud of you for how you are coping at the minute though!
    Sending positive vibes your way.
    TheScriabin likes this.

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