37 y/o - VIRGIN - Depressed - PIED!

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by Depressed&Out, Jun 6, 2018.

  1. Doper

    Doper Well-Known Member

    Which type of man do you think women are attracted to, and would want to be around more?

    1. Average or below average looking guy that tries to be positive, and makes the woman have pleasant, happy emotions when he is around.

    2. The most physically attractive man in the world, with all the money, but is extremely negative all the time and makes the woman feel negative emotions when he is around.
     
  2. Depressed&Out

    Depressed&Out Member

    depends on the other women!
     
  3. Depressed&Out

    Depressed&Out Member

    In recent weeks and months, I've been having a really intense and emotional time more than usual (today, for example, I cried in the bus - I simply cannot go on being alone much longer). Today I had a blood test appointment with a nurse. So, I did something that I always lacked the bollocks to do - I approached the nurse (or a woman!) and made a pass.

    She was someone that took previous blood test samples from me before and I always found her attractive (even though she's probably in her late 50s!). I simply went for it. I was hoping she would start a personal conversation and so develop something of a relationship between us (I'm about 20 years younger, so I felt it was worth a shot!). However, I believe this is wishful thinking - maybe it only happens in TV dramas!

    Anyway, what happened was, as we sat opposite each other and as she finished taking the sample, I extended forward and gently started touching and rubbing her elbow and arm. It felt nice and comforting for 1-3 seconds (and I already miss that feeling! :( ). She then said.... 'what are you doing? That's inappropriate'. She then faced her monitor to the side and started typing for 10 or so seconds. I felt like giving it another shot and so I said to her: 'Are you single?'. Unfortunately, again, she said that's inappropriate. And then our appointment ended with her quickly leading me to the exit door.

    I feel slightly embarrassed about it, but I can't even lie about this.... I really desperately need someone to touch and talk to it - something that has been missing all my adult life.

    I know I can't use that as an excuse... but like I said, I'm in an emotional turmoil, it dictated my actions as well.

    I'm living a really inhumane existence and the thought of suicide becomes more and more too powerful to ignore.

    By the day now I have been conscious of getting older. Every morning I wake up and just feel so depressed as I know what's ahead of me in the day (alone and work).

    FUCK MY LIFE!
     
  4. nuclpow

    nuclpow Well-Known Member

    Yeah, feeling up her arm is inappropriate. Maybe you could have asked if you could see her out of work instead, although she might have called that inappropriate, too.

    If you're so upset over being single I would advise doing the best with the rest of your life, try to have a good job an a clean and good-looking apartment and friends and a good relationship with family if you can. Women like a guy who has his life together.

    Hang in there, you have a good heart but you should get a better life.
     
    jack91 likes this.
  5. Depressed&Out

    Depressed&Out Member

    Yes, I know, I'm making the most of them (I'm healthy, I exercise regularly, have a decent body, have a lot of savings, studying for MsC, have a nice job, etc). I just need to waiting two years for finishing my Masters so that I can begin to look for a place of my own.

    However, it has been a long road from 16 year old to now. During that time I have not been even close to finding a GF. It's not nice missing out on the best years of my life and being so lonely.

    Everyone needs someone, especially if you not have had it before.
     
  6. Bilbo Swaggins

    Bilbo Swaggins Well-Known Member

    I could still recommend changing your username and profile picture, and having something more positive or funny representing yourself. Change a few things in your mindset, I don’t know, read personal growth books like No More Mr Nice Guy or Everything is fucked, those kinda books. Some are good, others not so much, but they might make you realize that you can change things in your life, with a good approach and consistency.

    Anything that will make you feel better and happier, and that will put despair away. Don’t say ‘Fuck my life’, man. Life isn’t easy, that’s right. But rebooting is an excellent opportunity to improve many things in our lives. Do it, man, go and do a big reboot, and fix your life. Next time you go to the clinic, you’ll be so handsome and confident that the nurse will touch YOUR arm and invite you to have dinner with her!
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2021
    Shady likes this.
  7. forlorn

    forlorn Well-Known Member

    Making a pass at the nurse at her place of work was a risky move. If she had behaved in any other manner than the way she did, it would make her look unprofessional.

    I echo the comments made by @Bilbo Swaggins - start reading personal development books or listening to Podcasts.

    The life you currently live is the result of all your past thoughts and actions.

    In order to move forward, we have to accept full responsibility for the outcomes we have achieved and the way our lives have turned out. And yes, it's painful to acknowledge we're getting older without having reached our potential - that's why it's so important to take responsibility now and start moving in the right direction.

    Be positive about yourself and remind yourself with frequent self-affirmations that you are a good person worthy of being loved. Start caring about yourself and only then will you be in a position to build intimacy and connection with others.

    Apologies if this has been mentioned before, but would you consider online dating sites?
     
    Shady likes this.
  8. Mudshovel

    Mudshovel Member

    For me, talking to girls on dating apps led to me masturbating to the thought of having sex with them. And these girls are on there for a reason so if they’re into you they will eventually start making the conversations sexual even if you don’t. So for me, I had to stop dating apps for the time being. Look at it this way, you do your reboot and then you can hook up with all the girls you want but right now you literally CAN’T because of your PIED.
     
  9. Rengaw

    Rengaw Will log on every other week from 13/10/2016

    Talking to women is where it starts... man I feel sorry for the nurse being approached by you. Also, I am sorry for you to have descended into the mental abyss you're in right now. Honestly, you try. That is good.
    However, what I have learned - women want to talk. Talk a lot, actually.
    That's where you need to start - chat with yourself first, then if you feel confident start talking to (with (VERBALLY! or perhaps digitally)) women and please - take it one day at a time. Focus on yourself, not your surroundings.

    And like @Mudshovel mentioned - dating apps can turn into another trap, I have first hand experience. I managed to get numerous dates with ladies, only to go from a porn addiction to a sex addiction.
    The terrible thing is, I am not only hurting myself but particularly the ladies involved. Not good. I am now seeing treatment in a rehab center.

    So please think thrice, but keep active!
     

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