So, unfortunately I relapsed last night to PMO. Devastated of course, and wary of what's to come in terms of symptoms. However, going three years with no PMO and rarely any sexual stimulation (apart from MO and fantasy) was really difficult at the end. Ultimately I am still an older virgin whose had ver, very limited amount with the opposite sex. I'm not making excuses, but it's really difficult going through life without a female companion or sexual excitation. However, the early signs are good - my penis looks the same. I haven't checked my erection quality as I'm frankly too scared to do that. The relapse itself was a minor relapse; i checked 4-5 pictures during a spell of no more than 5 minutes. I started feeling of excitation in my head and stomach. Not sure if this is how sex feels like or is it certainly the addiction? The orgasm was not that intense. However, the orgasm was different..... I felt neural pathways in my brain activating. It actually wasn't nice as it reminded me of a feeling that I forgot (or maybe not even noticed before as this is the first time I had reverted back to PMO following a lengthy spell). After the ejculation, I started shaking, feeling nervous, feeling sick, feeling suicidal and I simply... well, sick, shaking, crying, suicidal, etc. I couldn't sleep afterwards, but eventually I got a decent night's sleep. The next day (this morning) I woke up feeling better, albeit a little bit too anxious from yesterday still. I'm feeling a little bit tired (could be due to the energy of PMO or the anxiety). A little bit of a loss of appetite. When attempting to think about sex, I feel brain heating up. My penis looked fine (ie, it's not dead and not shrunk). Overall I'm devastated and still a little bit sick. However, those are likely to be induced by the psychological aspects of our fight against PMO ('cause PMO is conceptualised in our brain as a negative thing). But thinking about it rationally, I don't believe this relapse has set me back too much. This is not an invitation to be complacent, it's simply my observation of someone that was for a long time without PMO and relapsed a 'normal' relapse. I don't believe it sets you back significantly, maybe 3 months at worse? Does anyone have any questions, while my mind is still fresh from this? If not, I hope maybe we can learn something from this?