Day 24 - 1 Sept Chilled out beach day with minimal arguing fortunately. I had a wet dream last night; I have no idea who the girl in my dream was but I came IRL before we even fucked which was pretty depressing.
Day 26 - 3 Sep Nice chilled out day. Had a nice dinner and drinks with the wife, both probably feeling a bit frisky all evening, then getting to bed I just really didn't have any interest; mostly performance anxiety. I've had real anxiety issues the last few days. I hate being in crowds and it's pretty busy where we are on holiday which is difficult for me.
Day 27 - 4 Sep A relaxed day with some unfortunate squabbling at times, but ended with a nice dinner date.
Day 28 - 5 Sep Last day of holidays. Found a nice quiet beach that was clothing-optional, took a few minutes to warm up to it, but after a while it didn't feel weird at all so spent most of the day naked. My butt is burnt red today though!
true, for me I did similar stupid stuff on dating apps when I was horny in the years before when I was single. Not too proud of it, less than 1% where actually interested in that sort of conversation, the other 99% where just bothered by my message lol. Now if I relapse I try to get it over as soon as possible, so I dont waste too much time and the longer I do it the more hung over I feel. Also if you feel like you're wasting a lot of time on it, then maybe you're bored a lot and it is time for new activities like sports, learning an instrument etc....
Just wanted to chime in as your story is similar to me, similar age (i'm 38 and married a little over a year). Also, have had an ankle injury for over a year which has affected my ability to exercise which is contributing to relationship problems and PMO indirectly. And similar to you, having sex very rarely (though we've had a kid in the meantime so that partly explains it) Best of luck with everything. There's more to this than quitting PMO, but it's definitely a big part.
Day 34 - 11 Sep Had to work today, feeling A LOT better than yesterday. Still feel like I'm in a long flatline at the moment...
Day 35 - 12 Sep Pretty much over my cold, had a lot of good food in me which has hopefully helped a lot. Still in a serious flatline, absolutely no activity downstairs.
Day 36 - 13 Sep Nearly relapsed after looking for something on Reddit and stumbling onto some dirty material but managed to keep my hands to myself. My nan is very ill in hospital following a fall which is taking up a lot of my mental capacity today.
Hey @iceclimb29 . You've had some pretty hard going. Well done for staying the course. Only encouragement I can think of is considering what could help to get to some of the other root issues in your relationship? Have you done some good reading, investing into yourself and your marriage, considered any other approaches that might be helpful for building up your relationship? Other than the good work you are doing to distance yourself from smut. (I know when we are dealing with life, that trying to add in working on these things can sound like a lot.) Otherwise, hope your Nan is on the mend very soon! Strength to you, all around
Cheers bud, I appreciate the kind words. Honestly I think with regards to our relationship issues it's mostly just me being a bit lazy so I've been trying to put more effort in recently. I've tried reading stuff to and listening to podcasts but they don't seem to help too much once an argument has started. I've downloaded the Headspace app and I'm going to try and do a daily meditation on that, see if I can quash my anxiety and anger issues.
Day 37 - 14 Sep Called in sick for work as I was feeling rubbish and was basically made to feel bad because it would impact the shifts later in the day. Can't wait to be leaving this job in a few months and starting somewhere new!!! Started to go down some Reddit rabbit holes (just pictures/GIFs) but managed to get rid of it before I M'd.
