Hi all (been here before with some success). I recently turned 35, married for 3 years, but still can't seem to stop myself from putting my hands down my pants when I'm alone and bored. I've always had a bit too much of an interest in porn, but it's getting in the way of my productivity and relationship now. I think like most I discovered porn aged about 15 with magazines but I was around when the internet was just starting to pickup speed and I spent way more time looking at porn than trying to fuck real women. There were times that I tried and failed which crushed my confidence, so I'd ultimately go back to my laptop and watch it instead. Eventually lost my virginity at 23 and had a long-suffering girlfriend who put up with my premature ejaculation caused by my MO habits. Fast forward a few years and I meet my future wife and have similar issues with PIED and PreEj. I got into a good rhythm of avoiding porn and we had a really good sex life for about a year, but my PreEj really came back with a vengeance. Fast forward to 2022 and I'm currently suffering a long term shoulder injury, had covid really bad about a year ago and my marriage is definitely on the rocks; we just seem to tick eachother off and turn a bicker into a fight. We've both had individual counselling and couples counselling, but honestly I think we're circling the drain, and I think we've had sex maybe 3 times in 8 months. I'm a shift worker so I regularly have the house to myself for hours, which tends to end up with me watching PornHub and chatting on Omegle, edging at the PONR for 2-3 hours. I always tell myself that it's doing wonders for my staying power, but really I'm just wasting hours I could be studying/working on myself, giving myself an over-sensitive cock and putting me in a bad mood for the next 36 hours after the massive endorphin rush. I've really lost all motivation and my procrastination is at an all time high. I really want to kick my fascination with porn and crappy edging for good, get myself back to my previous fitness, empower myself to fulfill my plan to be self-employed with a great income when I leave the military in 5 years time and become capable of fucking for 20 minutes straight again. Time will tell what happens with my marriage, I kinda think it's a lost cause for now but maybe I'll be proved wrong.
Day 1 - 8-Aug Worked a night shift through to 7am, slept for 3 hours at home then went back into work to supervise an inspection so running on adrenaline all afternoon. Came home and argued with the wife all evening over how I supposedly prioritise work over her and I never take her in dates any more... Day 2 - 9-Aug Day off, went to the beach with the wife, came home and did a strength workout then had a BBQ in the garden together. A bit of niggling fighting but nothing too major.
Strength @iceclimb29 ! Hope you can figure it out. There is no doubt this is a positive move for you to kick this habit. All the best
Day 3 - 10 Aug Beach day with the wife again followed by some video games together and a workout at home. No desire to watch porn at any point
Day 4 - 11 Aug Mostly doing chores all day before heading out with my wife to celebrate my mum's birthday. Had a really nice evening, then she really pissed me off for some reason and I ended up kicking her in the leg. I'm so embarrassed by my behaviour
So it sounds like in the past you successfully battled PIED and won. That's something to be pretty proud of. So at your core, you know you can do it. It's pretty scary to be a virgin and have a lot of failed attempts. How did you overcome it exactly back then?
Day 5 - 12 Aug Looong boring day at work, but came home and did some swimming and paddleboarding with the wife. I explained my feelings for her and we spoke about my actions from the day before and I've booked myself in for some anger management counselling.
I just happened to be on a good streak at the time and met a girl on a night out while we were both drunk. We "dated" for about a year, she wasn't very sexual and she came very easily which made it very easy from a premature ejaculation point.
Day 6 - 13 Aug Most of the day spent at work, but managed to get in a quick mobility session at the gym. Didn't even have time to look at porn/stuff on my phone and honestly I don't even feel the need to. Morning wood is getting pretty good, as are spontaneous erections, but my PC muscle is feeling tight already.
Day 7 - 14 Aug Chilled out morning with my mum and wife at the coast and having lunch, then work til 11pm. No desires to watch anything I shouldn't be, but I did find myself watching crappy Facebook and Instagram videos way too much when I could have been more productive.
Day 8 - 15 Aug Did a bit of holiday planning with the wife in the morning and worked til 11pm. I've picked up a knee injury out of nowhere which is very frustrating. No morning wood or spontaneous erections today.
Day 9 - 16 Aug Felt a bit tired and deflated all day, definitely in a bit of a flat-line too with no boners and no sexual desires, but also really not missing porn or wanking.
Day 10 - 17 Aug Had a night shift last night so slept 8-12 this morning. Had some boring chores to do and did a mobility workout in the evening, trying to sort out my dodgy knee (believe it's a meniscus tear) and taking a lot of pain killers. Definitely still in a flat line with no erections today but also no desire to watch porn or wank.
Day 11 - 18 Aug Another night shift last night so came home to sleep but my knee isn't getting any better so I went to the hospital. Had an x-ray done and ruled out a miniscus tear, but there was no specialist available, so waiting to see an osteopath this weekend or next week.
Day 12 - 19 Aug Knee still in annoying pain, wearing a knee brace just to give myself a chance of a decent recovery. Had to cancel my mountaineering trip which really sucks, spent the day trying to come up with a backup plan. Went for dinner in the evening together. Still in a flat line
I can relate to what you wrote, also in my 30s, married and in a difficult spot. However we also have a kid, that changed the dynamic between us. Hopefully, that improves again. When I read you wrote you use Omegle, is that before you turn to porn? Because that could be one of your esclating rituals. For me it is Facebook, I look up girls and exes I used to hook up with and that escalates to a porn relapse. It's helpful to weed out all the stuff that makes you relapse, at least then you get something positive from it. All the best to your journey.
Cheers for your input bud. The Omegle thing is a bit of a joint thing while watching porn where I'm horny and keen to chat to people about kinkier stuff that my wife wouldn't be into, etc, but I've just realised how much time I've been wasting on it, and honestly you don't know who you're really chatting to; probably some 13 year kid in India
