34 y/o - VIRGIN - Depressed - PIED!

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by SuicidalVirgin, Jun 6, 2018.

  1. Living

    Living Well-Known Member

    While porn may play a role in erectile dysfunctions of some of the people here, I don't think the fact that one watches porn and has erectile issues is a simple case of A + B = C. There may be many reasons why someone has ED, including psychological ones. I often wonder what effect all this worrying about our penises and feeling bad about watching porn on our penises. Ofcourse I can't tell this is your case from just a few posts on a forum, but from your list of results to me a psychological cause makes more sense than porn. Perhaps you might see some positive results by accepting that you are doing not so bad at all and stop worrying about the state of your erection:)
  2. jack91

    jack91 Find your way throuh Staff Member

    Seems you go through very same things that I do. I too have female characteristics in me that are pornographic testosterone related. Depression is probably very common thing to have when battling this all but know not everyone have it even though in same mess. My hormones and life in general have been fucked but I'm not depressed in the least. Just go on tiger. Things are bound to turn good eventually of you try and do your best. Goodluck
  3. Doper

    Doper Member

    OP, if you have only watched P and MO'd a few times or whatever in 2 years, and feel you haven't had much progress with ED, I would look elsewhere. Unless there is some thing you are doing that is impeding progress like looking at P subs for lengths of time and getting that Dopamine hit, which you'd know if you were doing that.
    I'd wager close to 100% of people that have ED which was originally caused by porn/mo who take extremely long times to recover or just stay with perpetual ED or just live with kinda workable erections forever ARE CONTINUOUSLY RELAPSING. These people, like myself, for long periods of the 7 years that I have been aware of PIED, might go 10-20-30 etc days hard mode then mess up, rinse and repeat for possibly years. THIS IS NOT YOU.
    I'll tell a story I haven't before. When I learned about PIED, immediately i started abstaining, but every 1 or two weeks I would relapse. After 6 months of this my erections, morning wood were somewhat better but still left a lot to be desired. Then I injured my penis, lets say akin to peyronie's disease. At this point my penis hurt (quite a lot) all day and especially if touched, moved, vibrations it was a fucking extremely horrible experience. I don't know how I kept my job as I was going fucking insane. The pain kept going away extremely slowly and after maybe a year and a half of this I found a surgeon to do surgery and while I'll always have a bit of slight bit of pain in my dick from scar tissue, nerves whatever, I'm good to go. This is the first time I've thought about this in a long time and feel very lucky.

    The reason I told this story is that during the time of the pain, getting erections or touching my dick was absolutely NO GO, both hurt a lot. So this was the silver lining as there was no way I could PMO. Even the slightest sexual thought I had to immediately put out of my brain.....After 8-10 months of this, I was far more cured than one could hope for. It was night and day. THE POINT IS I COULDN'T HELP GET ERECTIONS EVEN THOUGH THEY HURT LIKE FUCKIN HELL AND I THOUGHT I WAS DOING PENILE DAMAGE BY HAVING THEM. Girls would give me ROCK HARD erections at work that hurt like all hell and there was nothing I could do to stop it, I wasn't fantasizing, I was thinking about blowing my brains out....even so, couldn't stop them.

    Fast forward maybe 4 years. Sadly, when I don't have something to forcefully stop me from messing up, I will, I went back to porn thinking I could dabble and it would take a long time to get PIED again, it didn't....It took maybe 4 months. For the last two years I have been half ass rebooting doing the 10-20-30 day hard modes, and then messing up. I don't binge or edge and my erections have never come even anywhere close to how they were after I was forced to do it right. AFTER 2 YEARS. good enough to have sex but night and day difference.,

    This is to me what it should look like when someone like me, who had SEVERE PIED, goes full on hard mode for several months to a year with no or very little slip ups. If OP really went 2 years or whatever and only a few slip ups, and doesn't have raging hard ons and insatiable lust, I would look at other things like a couple other posters mentioned.

    Depression and Hormones.
    Now if your hormones really are not as good as they could be, I wouldn't be so fast to discount going on Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT) which is a completely different thing than "Taking steroids". I have been on and off TRT and it IMO ain't a big deal, and if it has the chance of maybe fixing your problem I wouldn't just immediately say "nope, dont wanna do that" without even looking into it. Most important thing is finding a good doctor that actually know what the hell they're doing. That said, I think depression may be more likely (though I was extremely depressed during the episode I talked about earlier and it didnt affect my erections), and about that I know very little other than that most SSRI's can GIVE YOU ED....
    Anyway post getting way too long so good luck.
  4. Guts

    Guts Member

    How did this happen Doper? I always wanted to know your story ever since reading your journal.
  5. jack91

    jack91 Find your way throuh Staff Member

    Yes thanks Doper.
    Your post inspired me to try something new
  6. Doper

    Doper Member

    Your welcome jack

    Guts - I don't want to hijack this guys thread, but I'll try to explain. I'm not really sure what the hell happened, it wasn't peyronies, I just said that to simplify my massive post, the swelling/lump was in the dartos fascia. I think I originally got it from doing PE exercises (don't do that) back when I was too young to think logically about it. One day I woke up with this hard lump on my dick under the skin, it wasn't painful but irritating if touched, I went to a Uro he didn't think much of it. I wanted it gone, and for reasons (ill thought out) I won't get into cuz itll make the thread too long I smushed it hard with my fingers, and over the next few days the lump swelled up several times bigger, and got very painful, my dick got red as fuck....horrific. literally a fly landing on the lump would hurt. So much so I was so scared of a urologist/doctor touching it and making it worse, I didn't go to doctor for a long time. I wouldn't judge that decision too harshly because if the pain did get worse I would have to quit my job, and the situation was extremely slowly getting better/stabilizing...and if you've ever had uro's handle your junk you'd know they are not gentle, this seems to be universal I've learned) As well the first couple were idiots. I found a surgeon and he immediately told me what he thought, that the lump was infected, I thought this was also likely as the amount of pain.
    Anyhow, I was awake for the operation when he cut this lump out of me, I watched him pull it out. The nurse asked me if I'd ever injected fillers in my penis for enlargement (as this was obviously a strange finding). nope. Interesting experience watching your dick being cut open. I don't know how the hell this happened but in the time I was searching the internet for answers I've seen some weird shit. thankfully back to relative normal now, no terrible pain.
    Last edited: May 16, 2019
    Guts likes this.

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