33yo - youtube, P, internet, phone, games and M addictions/habits

Day 50 (13/5/23) complete - no youtube, no P. Halfway to my goal.
Day 14 - no M. Still plugging away.

Thanks for the kind words 1MLA. Posting on this forum is good for my discipline and its satisfying to think I might be able to help someone else.

So true. I just wasted large portions of today surfing the internet on my phone and playing a card game on my phone. I always know what I have to do (stop doing that!), but sometimes I just don't do it, and I pay a steep price for that!

Focusing on the positives. I've had a decent week. I got lots of work done yesterday. I did exercise for 5 days this week and might make it 6 days if I go for a jog tonight. I'm on day 50 for no youtube! I saw friends and family this weekend. I went out and did 18 approaches trying to pick up girls last night and had a few decent interactions and got 2 phone numbers. I had a couple of days this week when I didn't surf the internet on my phone (plus went to bed on time and got up on time) and they were very good days so I can build on that and try and make every day next week one of those types of days (I'll update you on Monday 22/5/23). Started to read my book again this week and got through about 30 pages. About 70 pages to go and I can start a new book!

Cheers
-tig

 

Day 51 (14/5/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 15 - no M.
Day 0 - no web-browsing on my phone, no computer games.

I've added another two challenges: not browsing the web on my phone and not playing computer games (eg. durak, solitaire, minesweeper, chess, motherload). My target is 100 days.

I'm wary of becoming too puritanical and stoic about all this, and I can imagine from the outside it looks like I'm denying myself simple pleasures and relaxation. Here is my justification:

Firstly, this does not come from nowhere. For a few years now I have identified that, in addition to youtube, the other two things I often do compulsively and addictively is going on the internet on my phone and playing games.

Secondly, I can still browse the internet on my laptop or a library computer (just before making this post I looked up sports results on my laptop) and it is better for my eyes to be looking at a bigger screen. My optometrist literally said to spend less time looking at my phone as it makes my eyes worse, so this could really be seen as me taking my medicine.

Thirdly, I'm trying to treat the world as if this technology didn't exist. If web-browsers on phones and computer games didn't exist, what would I do to amuse myself? Watch DVDs, join a chess club and play with real people, listen to music, play music, write music, read books, write books, see friends, make friends, exercise, be in nature, meditate, learn languages. In short, there's plenty of options for pleasure and relaxation. Not all technological advancements are good.

I realise that, sometimes, after a long day, I like to veg out, and disassociate my mind from doing any heavy lifting, and so those "wholesome" activities like reading and meditating and exercising and being in nature do not seem all that fun. I want dopamine goddamnit! And I have had times where I've binged on my old DVDs for hours at a time. And I felt bad after doing that. But I guess I hope these measures will make these binges less likely.

Again I don't want to be too puritanical about this. I accept myself as I am. If I binge on old DVDs that's one million times better than binging on porn and probably significantly better than binging on youtube because there is endless novelty there. Also, what would a man like me have binged on if porn, DVDs and youtube didn't exist? Perhaps I would've visited prostitutes, drank, smoked, done drugs. Reducing my (behavioural) addictions can make my life better, but its already pretty damn good. I can consider myself lucky I'm not addicted to worse things.

Cheers
-tig

 

Day 52 (15/5/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 16 - no M.
Day 1 - no web-browsing on my phone, no computer games.

 

Day 53 (16/5/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 2 - no web-browsing on my phone, no computer games.
Day 0 (17/5/23) - no M.

M'd to O last night.
There was an early morning social event I usually go to at the beach and I couldn't get to sleep. As you'll know my reason for restricting M is that I think I will be more motivated to meet girls and more likely to have success with girls. I justified it to myself that if I can't get to sleep then I won't get to this social event to be able to meet girls in the first place. Also, I've been a bit stressed and tense over the past few days and I justified it to myself that I'd be more relaxed if I M'd. Perhaps this is true. See this (note: I didn't actually watch the video just now).

HOWEVER, it is not true to then say, "I haven't seen naked ladies in a while, and I haven't seen really fucking hot naked ladies in a while, therefore it would be beneficial to my success with actual women to get used to seeing them, so I'll watch some P". I have, in the past, used that justification, so be wary of that.

Still going for a 100 days no M. Would be so much easier if I had a girlfriend/fuckbuddy.

 

Day 54 (17/5/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 3 - no web-browsing on my phone, no computer games.
Day 0 - no M.

 

Day 55 (18/5/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 4 - no web-browsing on my phone, no computer games.
Day 1 - no M.

 

Day 56 (19/5/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 5 - no web-browsing on my phone, no computer games.
Day 2 - no M.

 

Day 57 (20/5/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 6 - no web-browsing on my phone, no computer games.
Day 3 - no M.

From 11:30pm to 3am I browsed the streaming service Stan and watched a few things. I had signed up a few days ago for a free trial so I could watch Man City vs Real Madrid. Thankful that I'll be cancelling it before the trial runs out. But its there so I browsed and watched various shows for 3.5 hours. These tendencies are still in there. Perhaps they'll always be, just like one drink is too many for an alcoholic. But I can control it, like a recovered alcoholic. It does not rule me.

 

Day 58 (21/5/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 7 - no web-browsing on my phone, no computer games.
Day 4 - no M.

 

I said I would update on 22/5/23 about how my week went.
Last week was great in terms of not browsing the internet on my phone and not playing computer games. More focused and able to get things done and didn't feel shit that my mind was being hijacked by bullshit media every day.
Ups and downs in my mood regardless (did I think cutting out those two things would be a cure-all and make me super happy? I guess I was hoping).
Want to go through my cognitive behavioural therapy worksheets that my psychologist gave my soon because I have been feeling a bit low lately.
Overall, I think I'm on a positive upward spiral (or at least not on a negative and destructive downward spiral). Important to accept that some days I'll have negative emotions. Just deal with them maturely as an adult.

Cheers
-tig

 

Hi tig,

Really good that you are doing cognitive behavioural therapy. The more you work on getting rid of negative emotions, the less they will be
a trigger for browsing the internet etc.

I know that boredom, anxiety and depression as well as being on my own are triggers that tempt me to watch P.

 

Day 59 (22/5/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 8 - no web-browsing on my phone, no computer games.
Day 5 - no M.

Thanks DBA

 

Day 60 (23/5/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 9 - no web-browsing on my phone, no computer games.
Day 0 (24/5/23) - no M.

M'd to O last night. Again because I had a social event this morning and couldn't get to sleep. Although it still took a while to get to sleep after M. So its not clear that it always helps.

 

Day 61 (24/5/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 10 - no web-browsing on my phone, no computer games.
Day 0 - no M.

 

Day 62 (25/5/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 11 - no web-browsing on my phone, no computer games.
Day 1 - no M.

 

Day 63 (26/5/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 12 - no web-browsing on my phone, no computer games.
Day 2 - no M.

 

Day 64 (27/5/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 13 - no web-browsing on my phone, no computer games.
Day 0 - no M.

 

Day 65 (28/5/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 14 - no web-browsing on my phone, no computer games.
Day 1 - no M.

 

Hi tig,
I also use my phone way too much for non-sense stuff, basically as a tool to escape.
I stopped using social media some years ago, had way too many relapses due to that.
What are you doing with your extra time?

 

Day 66 (29/5/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 15 - no web-browsing on my phone, no computer games.
Day 2 - no M.

Yes, its an escape from the real world.
With my extra time, I might do a bit of extra study each day, or exercise a bit more, or socialise with friends a bit longer, or tidy up my house a bit more, or read a bit more, or meditate a bit more, or just do things a bit slower because I'm not in a rush because I spent the past hour wasting time on my phone. Whatever presents itself to me that day.