33yo - youtube, P, internet, phone, games and M addictions/habits

Day 34 (27/4/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 5 complete - no M.

 

I am not taking my medicine.
I am not following what my doctors have told me is best.
Jordan Peterson, in his book 12 Rules for Life, talks about how many people do not diligently take the medicine they are prescribed. It's crazy. Surely one cares about one's health right?

Well I'm doing the exact same thing. I have glasses and my prescription has been getting worse over the past few years. My optician said that reducing the time looking at my small phone screen would likely help. I've cut out youtube over the past 34 days, some of which I used to look at on my phone. That's a good development. But I still play this card game on my phone. I still read through this forum and read through news websites on my phone. This is not good for my eyes. Take my medicine.

Cheers
-tig

 

Day 35 (28/4/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 0 (29/4/23) - no M.

I've had it before where I have a good night out and have some physical contact with some hot girls (hands round waist etc) and things are going ok, and my brain is loving it, but I don't end up pulling them home, that I will then wake up in the middle of the night with this great urge to masturbate.

That happened again last night. I was half asleep for most of the wank. However, I realised what I was doing before the point of no return and I could've stopped myself. But I guess I was too horny coz I masturbated to orgasm.

When I got home last night, but before I went to sleep, I also had a small urge to masturbate. I thought about noting that in this journal before going to sleep. Perhaps it would have been more significant and prominent in my conscious brain and I would have been more likely to stop myself.

Oh well, reset the counter, and something to be aware of next time I have a night out like that. I will journal about it when I get home to bring greater awareness to the urge even if the urge peaks while I'm half asleep.

Cheers
-tig

 

Had another good night out tonight. Had some good chances with some girls but ultimately went home frustrated. Feeling an urge to M now. Be aware that I might get a strong urge when I'm half asleep. Remember my reason for not wanking is that it gives me added energy and clarity and focus in bettering myself and finding a girlfriend.

 

Day 36 (29/4/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 0 - no M.

 

Day 37 (30/4/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 1 - no M.

 

Day 38 (1/5/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 2 - no M.

 

Day 39 (2/5/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 3 - no M.

 

Day 40 (3/5/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 4 - no M.

Wow, Day 40, that crept up on me! Don't have any strong urges to watch youtube or P or to M. However, I do waste a fair bit of time looking at sports websites (football and tennis) and playing that internet card game. Would be good to cut both those out.

 

Day 41 (4/5/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 5 - no M.

 

I agree with what you say about M. It can be ok as an act of self love. It all depends on circumstances, whether someone is single, for example.
I also think that you are right that you should not feel guilt. But your aim must clearly be to get a girlfriend and M is a poor substitute.

One important step to achieve no PMO is to erase all videos etc. I used a pay per view site and erased all my favourite videos. It is more difficult for you
because you are tempted to use Youtube, and you can't erase that because it is always available by putting it into google search.

Nonetheless, there is a way you could create a physical barrier to stop you. For example many porn blockers allow you to put in a list of sites
to be forbidden, and you could put youtube in the list.

You have done 32 days, not many less than me. Keep going.

 

Day 42 (5/5/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 6 - no M.

 

Thanks DBA

 

Day 43 (6/5/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 7 - no M.

Tempted to M last night, but managed to stop myself.

 

I have also been tempted to M. You can use a blocker to stop porn or youtube, but there is no blocker to stop you M.

If you lo0k at the success stories of people who have made it, some have indeed avoided PMO, but occasionally
given into to M. It isn't the worse thing in the world, but all the same it is best to try 60 or 90 days free of sex
of any sort.

 

Day 44 (7/5/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 8 - no M.

 

Day 45 (8/5/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 9 - no M.

I think I also have/had some general behavioural addiction to the internet and my phone. I would find myself going on my phone and searching the internet for no reason. Just because its there in my hand. For example, in the morning when I'm on the toilet, just always on my phone. Another example, I'm doing some task at home and I think of the slightest thing that might be interesting (eg. "has any English football team ever won 5 major trophies over the course of just two seasons?", "remember my friend's brother's ex-girlfriend? she was hot, I wonder what she looks like now? even though I have no intention of adding her on facebook or talking to her") and I'd be on my phone for the next 10 minutes. Such a distraction. Such a waste of time. I don't need this information, its just a distraction from doing something tedious, difficult but necessary that I have set myself to do.

I want to never use an internet browser on my phone again (except in emergencies or where I'm away from my home/library and I actually need a piece of information). I deleted the google chrome app from my phone so its just the samsung internet browser. I also hid that browser app and I hid the games app. Lo and behold, I have used my phone and the internet WAY less over the past day. Loving it!

Cheers
-tig

 

Day 46 (9/5/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 10 - no M.

 

Day 47 (10/5/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 11 - no M.

Day 48 (11/5/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 12 - no M.

 

Day 49 (12/5/23) complete - no youtube, no P.
Day 13 - no M.

Thanks for the reply and encouragement 1MoreLookAway.

Haha, yes, I love this!

I don't think I had any routines per se, it was mainly:
1) self-belief that I could beat the addiction;
2) considering the negatives that could come from continuing to PMO and the positives that could come from abstaining;
3) have self-esteem and believing that I am worthy and deserving of having an amazing life (not that those 4.5 years were particularly amazing. I didn't start a multi-million dollar business or marry the girl of my dreams. I lived and enjoyed life on the level that I was able to at that time. It no doubt would've been a lot worse if I have been PMOing every day); and
4) having self-talk that was like an adult to an adult rather than like an adult to a child (something that also worked for quitting cigarettes - see this post).

Rebooting is probably harder with smartphones. I didn't have a smartphone when I first quit PMO. Of course, when one is at home its only too easy to turn on a laptop and disable the blockers, but it at least gives you a few extra seconds to regain self-control.

I don't think I was as addicted to the internet and youtube when I was in my early 20s and it definitely got worse after getting my first smartphone in about 2017.

Lately I've been trying my best to treat my smartphone like a dumbphone. Acting like it doesn't have web browsers. It's a dumbphone, but also with facebook messenger, whatsapp messenger, google maps, a camera, a stopwatch, an alarm, a calendar, and audiobooks . That's about it.

If I think of some interesting fact I want to look up on a web browser, I would have to go open up the laptop to find that, and more often than not I can't be bothered. So it wasn't that interesting after all. Having the phone in my hand just made it seem like it was worth looking up, but it wasn't. Such a distraction. Such a waste of time. Making me unfocused and stupid.

Cheers
-tig