33yo - youtube, P, internet, phone, games and M addictions/habits

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by tig, Mar 24, 2023.

  1. tig

    tig Active Member

    Day 11 (26/10/23) complete - no web-browsing on my phone.
  2. tig

    tig Active Member

    Day 12 (27/10/23) complete - no web-browsing on my phone.

    Tempted to break last night to look at instagram on my phone and M.
    Instead M'd with my imagination.
    Ultimately, life is better without web-browsing on my phone and looking at media to M.
    Life would be even better with a girlfriend.
  3. tig

    tig Active Member

    Day 13 (28/10/23) complete - no web-browsing on my phone.
  4. tig

    tig Active Member

    Day 14 (29/10/23) complete - no web-browsing on my phone.

    Two weeks, woooo!
    diz likes this.
  5. tig

    tig Active Member

    Day 15 (30/10/23) complete - no web-browsing on my phone.
    Day 220 - no youtube, no P.
    Day 169 - no computer games.
  6. diz

    diz Member

    Good going tig, 15 days no phone is great. Your list is almost identical to mine, in terms of habits I want to change forever.
    Gaming, youtube, browsing addictively, P obviously.

    Based on reading this I am going to change my rules around web-browsing. This morning I have spent 1.5 hours in bed on my laptop reading wikipedia.
  7. dark red drifter vessel

    dark red drifter vessel Well-Known Member

    Are you at the whack-a-mole stage were somehow slightly less disturbing but still useless habits pop out light and right?
    diz likes this.
  8. diz

    diz Member

    I am at a stage of realising that wanting to change 1 bad habit / addiction makes me realise I have several linked habits and I need to change my behaviour in many ways.
  9. tig

    tig Active Member

    Day 16 (31/10/23) complete - no web-browsing on my phone.
  10. tig

    tig Active Member

    Hey @dark red drifter vessel and @diz , I'm really pleased that you guys are thinking about self-improvement generally beyond stopping P.

    However, I just feel like I should say that I didn't do this all in one go, and I'd encourage you to manage your expectations and be realistic, and if you haven't overcome P yet, I think that should be your main priority.

    From approximately 2008-2013, I was very addicted to P (watching it everyday).
    Then I managed to stop for 4.5 years from 2013-2018.
    Then from 2018-2023, I only watched P occasionally (once a month on average) so I wasn't too addicted.
    I really just needed a bit of motivation and discipline to stop P this time round.
    So really the major habit/addiction I've tackled in 2023 is youtube/phone.
    I wasn't massively addicted to games, it was just kind of an add on to youtube/phone/losing my focus generally.
    I've also never been addicted to social media (facebook/instagram etc).

    I guess its technically possible to stop several habits at once.
    It would be amazing to see you guys do it.
    But I didn't do it like that.
    I just don't want you guys to bite off too much and for it to delay your recovery from P.


    diz and dark red drifter vessel like this.
  11. dark red drifter vessel

    dark red drifter vessel Well-Known Member

    Good points.

    Thing is, porn has not been that devastating an issue, but masturbation has been, and a gaming/youtube habit that fused
    into one over time. The screen 1 gaming screen 2 listening more than watching "content" of some variety. Where what I was
    listening to, what I was playing became more and more exchangeable, it was about that saturation of input, that feeling
    of numbed out infinity that I was gunning for, total numbing out without any substance.

    I never really touched social media or online gaming, I had some bright moments in my 20ies and knew I would likely
    not be able to stop. Same goes for chemical drugs. Never touched it, so no issue there.

    It took me a bloody long time to see that watching youtube had become my main issue. Which is funny, considering the
    time spent I racked up, but hey, we be blind like that at times.

    I think your take of not wanting to take on too much at the same time is a wise one. But I am also sort of
    back to the wall, full on citizenship in dicktown. Media usage has my ass on the ground, and if I switch out of
    it while still doing M then that escalates, just to loop back together to media, again.

    Its a bit of a clusterfuck. I need operationability in order to get my life back in order, and see no other way but through this.

    Thats means nixing PMO and Media usage. Porn was coming and going, but rather always as an occasional part of some severe media
    usage session. I have fought it before, and I have an easier time seeing the direct negative impact (apart from the in many cases
    gruelling aspects of its production.)

    It's still a lot: kicking a lifelong m habit (which I have tried to get rid of even when I was 15 ish, don't know why, only that it
    felt bad and that I fought. That was long before porn.) as well as stepping out of a suffocating blanket of media via youtube.

    But I have a lot of ...hm, lets say combat data from my previous attempts at quitting porn, gaming, cigarettes, toxic exes and so on.
    Plus I have a weekly support group for media addictions for at least some month to come.

    Maybe there are cleverer ways to answer the addiction whack a mole than with a costly and straining multi-addiction suppression,
    but gods I do not know them or cannot access them. then again, there might not be a replacement for the grisly parts of getting out
    of any addiction.

    Thank you for your comment, it was good to reassess. Even if I see no alternatives to my current frontal assault.

    Much appreciated.


    I forgot: offline gaming is something that I want to somewhat limit, but I might scale that back if it helps keeping my hands off the M and my head out of the collective gutter that is youtube.
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2023
    tig likes this.
  12. tig

    tig Active Member

    Day 17 (1/11/23) complete - no web-browsing on my phone.
  13. tig

    tig Active Member

    @dark red drifter vessel
    I hear you man. Sounds like youtube is very much a main issue for you. Youtube was also my main reason for starting this diary. I couldn't find an active forum for youtube addiction, and since I wanted to also stop P, I thought I'd make this journal about stopping youtube and P.

    Onwards and upwards man.

    Yes, very much agree. If there wasn't grisly parts, then it wouldn't be much of an addiction. You can do this one day at a time.
  14. tig

    tig Active Member

    Day 18 (2/11/23) complete - no web-browsing on my phone.
  15. tig

    tig Active Member

    Day 19 (3/11/23) complete - no web-browsing on my phone.
  16. tig

    tig Active Member

    Day 20 (4/11/23) complete - no web-browsing on my phone.

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