Life has been better the last few weeks. Business has been good (we sell online mainly, so we've not been hurt by the pandemic). A few weeks ago fiancee and I finally gave in and have decided to do IVF. We're most likely starting next month, so this month will be the last month of trying naturally. It has been a year since the miscarriage (hard to believe), and I have just given up hope of trying naturally. We had gotten pregnant so quickly the first time, that I just assumed we would again. Alas.. Thankfully, her mood has improved significantly since we booked IVF. It gives us hope. In all honesty, I've found it really difficult consoling her in the last few months, as her moods completely revolves around having a baby. So, this is our last month of trying and I want to give it our best chance anyway. So, no PMOing (i've been doing it once a day for the last few days, generally in the morning in bed). And NO caffeine. I had given it up for October, but slipped the last 3 days and had 1 coffee per day. I don't know if it really makes a difference with fertility but I want the best chance possible. I feel like my PMOing recently has been about filling a void. While things are going good in general, I still yearn to be a father. Spending the day with nieces and nephews at the weekend, reminded me of this. I just feel a lack of purpose a lot of the time. Work is good and I enjoy it sometimes but I feel "what's the point?". Lockdown has prevented going abroad so there's not much to look forward to.