33, Live life to the fullest

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by BackOnTrack, Dec 1, 2013.

  1. BackOnTrack

    BackOnTrack Active Member

    Did have a relapse last week or so, because everything just felt too much that day.
    Only positive thing about it is, I watched vanilla stuff and not the disgusting fetish stuff.
    Currenlty I struggle with constant agitation/anxiety and it is very stressful.
    I cannot really pin it down to a specific reason, however it is somehow connected to the addiction.
    Anyhow, with these things usually the mind realizes after time there's no threat or I will not follow a specific addictive pattern and it will calm down eventually.
    This may take weeks/months unfortunately and puts me into a burnout sort of state.
    I'm back on nopmo and I'm staying away from activities that are unhealthy.
    Wondering if an antidepressant could help me with the agitation, however don't really want to take em.
     
  2. BackOnTrack

    BackOnTrack Active Member

    I'm back on a 30 day streak of nofap. :)
    It has been quite easy this time around, because I'm currently pretty burned out, as my job has been quite stressful lately.
    Also might be due to lack of sunlight this time of year.
    I ordered vitamin d and hoping that it will help a bit.
    I will keep going.
     
  3. BackOnTrack

    BackOnTrack Active Member

    Had a relapse after 2 months and the pictures still haunt me, but it is getting a bit better after 2 days.
    Overall my anxiety level is freaking high after it for no reason.
    That also affects my sleep as well.
    I will abstain from it to feel better again.
    Reason for relapse were mostly a lack of sleep after recontinuing work after the holidays.
     
  4. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    2 months is a long time. Hope you get back on track soon
     
    BackOnTrack likes this.
  5. BackOnTrack

    BackOnTrack Active Member

    Thanks Gil.
    Indeed actually I felt great for the most part, I didn't feel as stressed, I was kind of balanced.
    I'm really not used to be that way.
    Now at day 6 again.
     
    Gil79 likes this.
  6. BackOnTrack

    BackOnTrack Active Member

    Day 13
    I'm in the mood for sex, not porn. So I count that as a good thing.
    However not easy finding a way to connect that way with my wife.
    We're both a bit stuck in our parents role.
     
  7. BackOnTrack

    BackOnTrack Active Member

    I've been avoiding a difficult task at work for weeks now and the internal pressure is getting out of hand.
    My boss hasn't been able to give me a the format or how it should look like.
    It bothers me a lot now, but I will start NOW and give it my BEST.
     
    AbyssDive likes this.
  8. BackOnTrack

    BackOnTrack Active Member

    Have been working most of the weekend on the presentations, now I'm just glad I'm finished with it.
    Will have to present in front of a bunch of people, so will need to prepare myself in the best possible way.
    I was very glad that due to covid I mostly have to present online, that is much more relaxed.
    At times being an introvert in more of a extrovert job, I from time to time get imposter syndrome, even though my results are better than most of the others.
     
  9. iceclimb29

    iceclimb29 Member

    How did your presentation going?
     
  10. BackOnTrack

    BackOnTrack Active Member

    Actually just had to hand it in for now and present something similar later in February.
    I made an appointment yesterday with my boss and got some feedback and now finally understand what he was looking for.
    Quite annoying to get it after the job is done, but also a relieve to now know what I should do.
     
  11. BackOnTrack

    BackOnTrack Active Member

    Today I'm feeling pretty good, I'm a bit less worried.
    I spent most time with my family this weekend and doing small kind things for my wife, she appreciates it.
     

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