So it's been a while since I posted and I completed the 90 days. I started MO without fantasizing and it doesnt seem to have any negative effects. I can now only last like 30s which is really bad when it comes to sex, so I really need to work on that.
are you super horny for women? do you see a lot of them now? as in you're getting wood just by staring at them in the streets etc. have shemales almsot disappeared? let me knwo thanks and also congrats on the progress
Hey, Your story is very similar to mine. I PMO 3 to 6 times a day. I thought that might lower my depression but instead the opposite happened. I am just starting, but from what I have seen on here and other studies, I want to live a life without social anxiety and without depression.
@sidney I never got random boners on the street, I don't think that's an indicator if you're 'cured'. But I get hard by kissing or sitting close next to a women.. stuff like that. I don't think normal sexuality means that you're running around horny all the time, you just know you're working and when you see or talk to a pretty girl it just brightens your day. During my reboot those thoughts of TS were still there, most of the time, sometimes more sometimes less. But I think if I wouldn't have actually encountered few it might have been gone earlier, because I don't think about porn only about real encounters. Strange thing is, when I felt bad I thought more often about TS. Now that I started fapping again I haven't had any strong thoughts about them, only about women, which is really nice. @Bricejohnson Great decision to do this. It's a long way and a lot of work, but totally worth it. For me it's this: as long as I don't have friends, contact to girls, just sitting home alone etc.. I'm not happy with myself, so you just gotta work on all that, be motivated and find respect for yourself. Be a YES-man, do things that are out of your comfort-zone, that's where life begins.
Yeah so I got a beautiful gf now. Without NoFap this probably wouldn't have happened like that. So I'm retiring from this forum I guess. Nothing I can do here anymore. Thanks for all the support and posts guys. My PE already got a bit better at least I can last a few minutes, but I'm confident that's it's going to get better. Kegel exercises quite helping a bit.
It's been 8 years since I posted in this journal. Was quite tough on me to read what I wrote back then.. I don't have DE anymore. Sometimes I have performance anxiety concerning Sex. Currently I'm on nofap again, since 19.07. I started relapsing more to porn again since I'm married. That is because I dont actually want to cheat IRL on my wife and I'm glad I'm not doing that. For me a big trigger is not having someone to meet on the weekends. I feel very lonely then I must say. I have few people I can meet with, but not regularily and I don't like to feel desperate asking the same person each week, especially when he didnt have time last week. I also have a son of 14 month now and the bright side is I spend lots of time with him What I always notice during nofap is that I long for deep social connections, it is like a hunger. When I'm watching porn I don't care so much about that.
Just had several relapses today. Had a decent streak going of 3-4 weeks. I was a bit hung over and had to work through annoying Excel sheets all day. I hate that stuff, but have to finalize it until next week. So reason for relapse was anxiety and overworking. Generally I feel less bad if I watch normal porn opposed to fetish stuff. That shit makes me feel nasty afterwards.
Had a relapse today, because I have a cold. I need better coping mechanism. I'm in homeoffice and didnt call in sick, which obviously isnt ideal. When I'm feeling sick I need to rest instead of working/ playing video games and watching porn for relief.
Today I'm on day 3 of nofap again. I'm quite sick still, so I'm taking it slow. I have a lot of agitation at the moment, which bothers me a lot. That is why I'm being serious about nofap again, to become better and be confidence. Porn is sucking up the ability to feel joy, increases my anxiety and agitation.
Yes! Keep reminding yourself that P does not bring joy, it robs you of joy. It doesn't remove anxiety and agitation - it increases it. Strength on your journey @BackOnTrack
DAY 4: Currently feel like I'm almost healthy again (had a cold). Also have a good mood so far and have great vibes with my son (16 months old). Nothing's better than making him laugh. When I relapse to porn I tend to isolate more and feel less joy in social interactions.
DAY5: So far so good it is finally friday. Slept pretty well and am grateful for that. Got triggered yesterday but did not relapse. Right now I'm in a mild flatline, however I love it not being distracted too much by urges. Binged YouTube a lot yesterday evening, I need to keep an eye on that. It can be pretty addictive.
DAY:13 Feeling healthier again, but very agitated and giggly. That feeling of restlessness makes me fantasize big time, because it is like a painkiller and porn and orgasm releases some relaxing hormones. Also when I cannot fall asleep I tend to fantasize about sex. The healthy solution would be to meditate, let's see if I can schedule time for that.
DAY:17 Feeling very tired today Weather is grey, which I find quite triggering. Lots of work as my colleague is on a 3 week vacation, however I don't feel very motivated. Also have to start paying for my son's kindergarten and the amount is obnoxious. Also received a large invoice from the landlord for maintenance and my SO received 2 invoice reminders. I'm always on top of my finances, but my SO is quite careless about these things. I'm trying to help her to get in under control, but eventually I cannot change that if she doesn't want to. She's supporting her father abroad, where the countries situation is very bad right now. Overall we will be able to afford these additional costs, it is just stressful getting these costly surprises. I'm planning to stop ordering food in october for self-discipline and to save some money.
DAY:18 Generally most stuff is working quite well at work, which is good. Had a dream last night where I was away from my family and considered relapsing, but I managed not to act out in my dream. I decided against it, which is quite interesting, because usually I would dream I would act out. Today however need to be a bit careful not to led my guard down, because of this little success in my dream lol. Writing these updates help me a bit to stay sober.
Hopefully that dream means that you're starting to rewire some of your old behaviours. Keep up your good streak!
DAY 20: I'm tested positive for Covid, however the symptoms are like a normal cold. I'll be in quarantine for 5 days, which is a bit of a bummer, also because my wife and son are luckily negative, but I have to avoid them and wear a mask inside, which isn't fun. In the current state I also have less desire for porn.
DAY 29: Covid is over I'm OK. I haven't watched porn for 29 Days. Today there are urges to watch, but I have very good reasons not to do so. I Mo'd twice in the last 29 years, however did not watch any porn, which is good. It was difficult to stay clean, because I was sick and in quarantine.
