Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by tig, Mar 24, 2023.
Day 16 (9/4/23) complete.
Day 17 (10/4/23) complete.
Day 18 (11/4/23) complete.
Day 19 (12/4/23) complete.
Was chatting to a friend last night who I introduced to YBOP and who has been reducing his viewing significantly for the past month.
I said to him "I'm ready to go the rest of my life without porn". I felt very liberated and empowered saying it, and I know its true. One exception being making my own porn with a girlfriend and watching it back with her, which I think would be pretty hot, mainly because I would be excited to see how excited she gets by making it and then watching it.
Also, why not the rest of my life without masturbation? Maybe there'll be some exceptions. Part of me does think that with the right mindset, masturbation can be an act of self-love and getting in touch with the feelings in my own body and my own sexuality. But when it becomes compulsive, obsessive, chasing a dopamine fix, and covering up boredom/pain, obviously then its quite bad. Plus, abstaining is extra motivation to find and keep a girlfriend so I can be having sex at least 3 times a week and don't want to masturbate.
Also, why not the rest of my life without youtube? Obviously watching funny, titillating, cool videos gives me pleasure, but the pros aren't worth the cons as I've written in my opening post. I can buy DVDs and watch them with friends or alone. I can buy CDs and listen to them with friends or alone. I can go to the pub with friends to watch a soccer match live or we can get a subscription to Optus sport or Stan sport and watch the match at a house. Doing things with other people is often better. I can watch some of the PUA videos and read some of the PUA books that I already have, rather than watching videos on youtube. Again, maybe there'll be some exceptions as outlined in my opening post. But nevertheless I'm ready to go the rest of my life without watching youtube compulsively, obsessively, chasing a dopamine fix, and covering up boredom/pain.
Good job buddy. Im on a community with the same problem as well. Porn reboot program that is.
Day 20 (13/4/23) complete.
Day 21 (14/4/23) complete.
Three weeks. Boom!
Day 22 (15/4/23) complete.
Day 23 (16/4/23) complete.
Had an exciting fantasy last night. Very tempted to masturbate. Stopped myself which I'm proud of. I thought to myself: "masturbating right now would feel nice, but what would feel better is having sex and that's perhaps more likely if I don't masturbate, so I won't".
I just submitted a big assignment for uni worth 40% of my grade for that unit. Often when an assignment deadline approaches has been when I've watched youtube or PMO'd lately. I used to justify it to myself, saying that it would make me feel better so I'd perform better on the assignment, or at night, it would help me sleep better so I'm well rested to do the assignment.
Happy to say that is complete bullshit. I managed to do just fine on the assignment without polluting my glass with dirty water.
No limiting beliefs.
Day 24 (17/4/23) complete.
Feeling a bit complacent yesterday. Thoughts like "oh fuck it why not masturbate, what's the harm, why not watch some youtube, what's the harm".
Time to stay vigilant. I'll repeat below some of the good things that have happened when I stop PMO:
I'm also feeling a bit frustrated because I met a girl a few days ago who I thought I would likely be able to have sex with. We texted for a few days but she hasn't texted back for the last two days. You never know, she might text back in a few days. Either way, these things can happen. I'm not gunna get every girl and I never expected to. That doesn't negate the benefits I've been getting from no PMO and no youtube.
Day 25 (18/4/23) complete.
Day 26 (19/4/23) complete.
just checking in. Porn Reboot Community brothers check in here
Day 27 (20/4/23) complete.
Day 28 (21/4/23) complete - no porn, no youtube.
Day 0 (22/4/23) - no masturbation
So last night I masturbated to orgasm.
I didn't feel shame or guilt afterwards.
I thought I'd write some things to clarify my current position on masturbation.
Firstly, what I'm about to write might not apply to everyone else including people that are currently aiming to get their first streak of several weeks or months without porn, and for whom masturbating regularly may get in the way of resetting their brain after years (or decades) of porn abuse, and may be a slippery slope leading back to porn use. For such people (and I have been one of them) abstaining from PMO entirely may be of tremendous benefit, especially in the initial weeks/months. But I'm also not a doctor so take everything I say with a pinch of salt.
I don't view masturbating as morally wrong. As I've said in a previous post, done in the right circumstances I think it can be an act of self-love and mentally healthy. But it's masturbating compulsively, out of boredom, for a dopamine hit, when I don't even really want to do it that much, that's an issue I think.
I think last night was an act of self-love/self-care (and I'm pretty sure I'm not just justifying it to myself after the fact). I've been struggling a bit with life lately: a dry streak with girls going back to December; having a bit of difficulty socialising and making friends and meeting girls; stressed with uni; potentially still have some mild depression and anxiety (psychologist's diagnosis from September 2022). I was feeling quite highly strung and tense last night, as I have been for the past few days, and honestly the masturbation helped me relax.
Now, everything in moderation, right? This doesn't mean I'm going to restart masturbating every night before I sleep. In fact, when I woke up I felt the chaser effect and wanted to masturbate but I chose not to.
As a single man, my opinion is that if I am masturbating regularly as my only means of achieving orgasm then certain parts of my life are not optimal. I would like to have a girlfriend who I can have regular sex with. Maybe three times a week on average, but how long is a piece of string? If that is my life situation, I imagine that I won't want to masturbate often, but I can certainly imagine still doing it as an occasional pleasurable experience. In my opinion (and as I've already experienced within just 28 days), abstaining from masturbation can make me more motivated to go out and find a girlfriend, and make the interactions go a bit better.
Thus, it's still my goal to not masturbate for 100 days. That is in conjunction with taking steps to make myself the man I want to be and attract the woman I want.
Yesterday I spent about 8 hours play a card game (Durak) on a website against computer bots. My mind can do that sometimes. Nipping that in the bud by wiping the browsing history on both my laptop and my phone. Just be wary over the next few days that I don't justify watching youtube to myself, saying, "I played some games on Friday, so what's the harm in a bit of youtube today", because that can lead to several hours/days of youtube.
Time to be vigilant.
Day 29 (22/4/23) complete - no porn, no youtube.
Day 0 - no masturbation
Played that internet card game again yesterday, but only for 60 to 90 minutes.
Day 30 (23/4/23) complete - no porn, no youtube.
Day 1 complete - no masturbation
Day 31 (24/4/23) complete - no P, no youtube.
Day 2 complete - no M.
Day 32 (25/4/23) complete - no P, no youtube.
Day 3 complete - no M.
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