30 years old....I want to overcome my porn and escort addiction

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by Krycek23, Aug 9, 2020.

  1. Krycek23

    Krycek23 New Member

    Hello guys,

    I am Krycek23, and I am an addict. Today I wanted to visit my favorite escort girl, but she told me that we need a break, because I am not achieving orgasm during intercourse with her anymore. Basically my sex life consists in sex with escorts and masturbating with porn. This particular escort, I think I fell in love with a while ago. Now its better, regarding my falling in love status, but I care about her as a human being and as a friend. I hope she feels the same.

    I am upset that I never had a real girlfriend, to have someone in my life to love me for me. And I think I am pretty ok guy. So I think that maybe this porn and escort thing messed me up. Sometimes I am afraid I will never have a girlfriend. I had sex with escorts all my life, I think I had more than 130 escorts. I also went on real dates with girls from Tinder, but these girls never seem to stick around, and only once I managed to get one in bed without paying her.

    I miss the fact that I don't have girl to spend my holidays with. I am a bit sick of only going on holidays with friends.

    From a financial point of view I do pretty ok, I have a terrific paying job, I live alone, I have a car, I have my own apartment. But I would like my love life to not suck anymore. Regarding sex , I have trouble achieving orgasm sometimes and in particular with may favorite escort. I want to do this to change my life.

    So, I will try this PMO, and I want to keep a journal here. I tried before, but never got past 2 weeks. Any advice is welcome guys. I dont want to feel alone in this. I will try to update daily.
     
  2. Krycek23

    Krycek23 New Member

    Went to see an escort today. Just relapsed again....will try again
     
  3. European Wanker

    European Wanker New Member

    Hello Krycek. This is a very brave post, as I am not sure many subscribers would extend their admission of PMO addiction to also using escorts. I too have used escorts, the last time actually a week ago, though it probably averages once every two-months, depending on my mental state. For me, it feels like an extension of watching porn, acting out what I viewed online. In this, it's as much as a virtual reality experience as anything. They never really satisfy me, so I see it as being part of the same parcel as why I am here to quit PMO. If you ever want to discuss this, please let me know. Ta, EW.
     
  4. Krycek23

    Krycek23 New Member

    Thanks for answering European Wanker. I don't try to act to act out what I see in porn. I have a big milf fantasy, and I try to go for older women when I find them attractive enough. Another of my problem is that even sex gets less and less satisfying than when I began having sex. I am even going bareback with 2 girls (both are UTC, but its still a hell of a risk, I know), I think I am addicted to cumming in them without a condom. I used to be heavy user of escorts. I had one at least once at 3 days. Once I even saw 7 girls in 9 days. And I even saw 2 escorts in the same day. Now I managed to go less. I even managed recently a 2 week break.

    I want to quit escorts partly because my ability to have an orgasm is hindered. But my main reason, is because I want to have a real relationship with a girl. I think most people when thinking of sex think about which girl to talk to, which girl to try to make their girlfriend. I was only thinking about which escort to see. Another problem is that I also have a lot of free time, and sometimes I frankly get bored. I watch netflix and play video games.

    I dont think I am a bad looking guy, I am young and my financial situation is pretty good. I think if I can make a year without porn or escorts I will definitely get a girlfriend, someone which can fulfill me at an emotional level, instead of this escort sex which only gives moments of pleasure, and after visiting the escort I feel bad because I know that my life is not heading in the right direction.

    We can talk anytime you want.
     
  5. Krycek23

    Krycek23 New Member

    Hello again guys!

    I am 20 days into the challenge. Its almost 3 weeks since last time I fapped and a month since I last went to see an escort.

    The urges are so strong in the last few days. Some part of my mind really wanta me to go see an escort to release. I dont feel the urge for porn. I really want to go 90 days. I hope its gonna be worth it after.

    How I managed to do it until now...
    I went on a 2 weeks holiday with some friends. Now, after I have returned, I haven't opened my computer and I tried to go out every day and do different activities. I went to a normal maasage in one day, running in the park one day. Today I go in a few hours to play table tennis.

    Any tips on how to pass this stage? The urges are so strong, but I keep thinking about the man I want to become. I dont feel depressed or anything else..
     
  6. Shady

    Shady Active Member

    Keep yourself away from all devices when at home.
    Install some blockers
    Get busy. Do something productive. Do something fun. Don't leave one free second in your day until the urges subside.
    Urges get weaker and weaker in time.
    Your willpower should not be your only line of defense because it usually fails. So use the lines of defense I mentioned above instead.

    Stay strong, good luck and let us know how it goes.
     
  7. gavney

    gavney Active Member

    Welcome to the board, and well done on taking first steps and in your honesty.

    I went through an escort phase myself, lasting about 5 years. I had 2 fairly short relationships before that, and am now engaged to a lovely girl.
    I have to say that visiting escorts was for me, less damaging than PMO. Added to that, it was, admittedly, a very enjoyable experience.
    It also confirmed for me the need to have a real relationship. At the time everything else was going ok, career was good, finances good, home was good.
    But there was a real emptiness I felt after visiting an escort. It fulfilled the sexual need for me, but it didn't fulfill the companionship side of a relationship.

    In all honesty, there's times I wish I was back at that time of my life so that I'd be single and have the chance to visit an escort again, as the sex was great! But overall, my life is considerably better since finding my partner.

    It's important though to see it as just transactional. It is dangerous to think that there's anything more going on than an exchange of sex for money. I
    felt that one of the girls I visited a few times might have had feelings for me. But even if she did (which in hindsight was very unlikely), what was I gonna do?
    Ask her out?

    "I miss the fact that I don't have girl to spend my holidays with. I am a bit sick of only going on holidays with friends."

    I felt exactly the same way. Not having someone to travel the world with is something I really missed about not having a GF throughout most of my 20s.
    We're both now 36 and there's alot of pressure to start a family, so travelling has taken a back seat.
    So, I urge you to follow your desire to find a GF, and do it sooner rather than later. You're still quite young, so you'll hopefully be able to have a few years of fun with a girl, before having to start thinking about a family etc.. (if that's what you want)
     
    Shady likes this.

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