A brief introduction to myself: Engineering grad school student. I picked up fapping in high school and didn't realize it's a bad thing until junior year in college. I have always been a quiet 'nerd'. I have a personal problem that I cannot gain weight to have a proper shape. I just relapsed when I'm starting this journal. I have been on reddit NoFap for two months and have reset the badge for at least 10 times. I'm usually busy during the day because of coursework and research. But I get lonely in the night and don't know what to do. I envy those who have a normal and healthy hobby such as basketball or fitness. Sometimes I hate myself of picking up such a thing. Anyway I have to face it and try to overcome. So here I am, starting this journal as a way of monitoring myself. I'll try to update it daily. For me I think porn is the problem. I won't fap without porn. When I get stressful and lonely I just go online to find those things. It has been a waste of time and energy. I'm thinking of finding a replacement of this bad hobby to distract myself from porn. My mind is a mess right now and I'll try to figure out more later.