3/12/12 - The First Day of the Rest of My Life

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by MetaMorph, Mar 23, 2012.

  1. liveinthenow

    liveinthenow New Member

    So god DAMN JEALOUS 8)

    Seriously MetaMorph I wish I had your dilemmas :p
  2. tig

    tig Guest

    Or threesomes, swingers parties, sex parties....

    These might be huge lifestyle changes for you and your wife. In most people's reality, doing these things would just be a quick fix to a long term problem. Would you call yourself a very adventurous couple?

    You've gone through a rough few days pal, and have lost some of your sources of pleasure and now you're trying to fill that void with images of boobs <<< not very manly when you think about it.

    Re-read over your journal and get refocused and recommitted to your long term goals. Envisage the benefits clearly and plan what actions you need to take to achieve your goals. Find that long-lasting fulfillment mate.
  3. gettingthere

    gettingthere New Member

    Hiya Meta,
    I breathed a sigh of relief when I read your last post my friend.
    Now we're back on the same side of sanity and I'm preaching to the choir.

    I'm not about to offer advice about your sex life with your wife. That said, I remember a video or article I read early into this process.

    The thesis is kinda corny but I've found it true. Sometimes, women know us men a heck of a lot better than we know ourselves.

    I broke up with my girlfriend a couple of months ago for very "obvious and logical" reasons. She felt sad and I felt dissapointed. You can probably guess what happened next. I beg forgiveness, admit folly, buy flowers and dinner, and....living happily.

    So Meta, I know it's almost unthinkable but sometimes the "weaker sex" really have a better handle on the handle than we do. (lol)
    Be well,
  4. Journey

    Journey New Member

    I personally disagree with the suggestions for kinkier sex and threesomes etc, I think that's just another way to artificially fool you into getting more novelty / dopamine. YBOP has stories where such things are compared with porn. I remember marnia talking about how one man was convinced he needed kinkier sex / anal with his wife, and resented her for being unwilling, then after a reboot he completely lost the fixation

    Anyway. Just my two cents
  5. MetaMorph

    MetaMorph New Member

    Thanks guys for all the comments.

    I'm really not sure how this should play out. I know there is going to be some temptation in this approach. It came after me hard last night and I went through another session of looking at sexy clips. Even though it never approached PMO, there was definitely some involuntary clicking and searching.

    However, I still did not have an urge to take it to XXX porn or PMO, just the opposite, I actually have a strong aversion to it. I don't even think jacking off is mentally or physically possible right now... I have not had even a 10% erection at any time during the daytime in the last 50 days, except with my wife. And since the reboot, the erections with her are through the roof. This is all very strange to me and as far as I can tell, undocumented. I wish there were more guys like me on here who have continued having frequent sex with their wives throughout the process so we could compare notes.

    Day 51 - Wednesday, 5/2

    Nothing much else to report. Tracking through the wilderness, writing down what happens.....

    Have a great day today guys!!
  6. gettingthere

    gettingthere New Member

    Hiya Meta,
    I'm having great sex with my girlfriend (we get together only on weekends, a cool arrangement.)
    I don't have a point of reference like you because the reboot came simultaneously with the relationship.

    But judging from your description of her reactions, some of the progress is certainly "real and impressive."
    That's nothing to sneeze at.

    Here comes the Ben Franklin in me so you better duck...
    "If it ain't broke don't fix it!"

    Perhaps the titty utube action gave you a jolt of libido. Let's assume it did.
    Still, I'm getting to know you a bit, and I can tell you the sex with your wife "ain't broke". So don't try to fix it!
    Be well,
  7. MetaMorph

    MetaMorph New Member

    Thanks gettingthere. You're right, it's not broke. In fact, it's been fixed because of YBOP and stopping PMO. Yes I did look at some sexy material, but it certainly didn't have a negative effect on sex with my wife.

    And, like most others have said, ED and DE is what brought me to YBOP. Learning about the consequences of PMO (and in my opinion, specifically masturbation) was enough to cancel in my brain any desire to jack off or look at XXX porn ever again. So at this point the goal of fixing ED/DE with my wife has been met, I just have to avoid ever PMOing again.
  8. gettingthere

    gettingthere New Member

    Hiya Meta,
    "the goal of fixing ED/DE with my wife has been met"
    What sweet words!

    I've been touched by lots of words in this forum but none more than those.

    Be well brother,
  9. darkknight3313

    darkknight3313 New Member

    I read this and am hopeful ED will be resolved for me. But I'm close to 50 days and I can tell you there is no way I'd be able to pull it off yet. Congrats! You've given the rest of us hope we are on the right path.
  10. MetaMorph

    MetaMorph New Member

    Thanks guys. Yes as my thinking and understanding of my situation has evolved over the last two months I'm more convinced than ever that my problems were all stemming from masturbation, made even worse by extreme internet porn.

    See, I've masturbated all my life since a young boy. I had access to porn off and on during that whole period too, but not always. I would jack off to anything -- lingerie catalogs, memories of girls in bikinis at the beach, memories of how a girl's ass looked in class, even my own imagination. Porn just made it easier, and extreme internet porn with fast easy access simply made it impossible NOT to beat off. But I always did it. Not every day, but as often as I wanted to without any restraint.

    Oh, I wanted to stop looking at internet porn -- plenty. I never really thought it was good or right. I always felt guilty for looking at it. But the pull was strong, and even though I would be successful at holding myself back for a time, I always still jacked off even without it -- to porn memories, or whatever -- just like always.

    That's what's different now. I don't think I've ever went this long without jacking off since I discovered it. I never tried. And the funny thing is, my screen name is holding true -- I have no desire whatsoever to do it anymore, like that wiring has been cut. And I don't look at porn either. I have looked at some "fun" stuff but it has no effect like it used to. Masturbating is just off the table and it doesn't seem to be returning.

    I'm still in the discovery mode of this journey, but it's looking more and more like porn was one of the symptoms of the real disease of masturbating, and as long as I hold fast to that knowledge, there is no desire to do it. So I continue....

    Day 56 - Monday, 5/7

    Eight weeks no PMO woo hoo!

    Cruising along, no desire to look at XXX porn or jack off to anything. Still having good regular relations with my wife.

    Have a great day today guys, free of whatever is ailing ya! ;D
  11. spinergy

    spinergy New Member

    Yeah! Meta!

    Good stuff, brother!
  12. gettingthere

    gettingthere New Member

    Hiya Meta,
    Good to hear you're still doing well and you sound clear as a bell in the way you look at this reboot process.
    I was quite skeptical but I'm gradually gaining in confidence that it really works.
    Be well,
  13. MetaMorph

    MetaMorph New Member

    Spinergy and Gettingthere, thank you guys again for checking in, your posts are much appreciated.

    Day 63 - Monday, 5/14

    Nine weeks now without PMO. Over 2 months since the last session and I couldn't be happier! :)

    So far so good. I've stopped looking around for stuff to look at. It's just pointless and, frankly, quite boring, when you know you're not going to jack off. And the urge to do that has just magically disappeared from my life. Even when I have looked at some pretty sexy stuff, I just do not get the urge to carry on to the point of masturbating. Not really sure how or why this change happened... I keep attributing it to learning about porn-induced ED on YBOP and maybe that's all it is. But I've always been very sneaky at defeating myself when it comes to trying to stop a bad habit -- although I have succeeded at it before -- and so it's quite unexpected that this urge would just vanish like it has. It's really quite hard for me to believe that I simply don't jack off anymore. Wow...

    I have not sworn off going out looking at sexy images again in the future. It can be a bit of fun and I really don't think it's going to be a problem for me. But for now I'm just not interested and have better things to do.

    Regular relations with the wife continue, more regular than before my reboot by almost double. I really think my increased performance has boosted her libido. Not sure, but I'm happy for it whatever the cause.

    I also realize that having this constant outlet has really made it easy for me. I don't have to tolerate being horny at all, and I know that it would be much harder to stop if I didn't have that. So to you guys who are fighting through this without a sexual outlet, my hat is off to you and I wish you great strength and easy days ahead.

    Have a great PMO-free day today brothers!! ;D
  14. gettingthere

    gettingthere New Member

    Hiya Meta,
    Well done on your achievements.
    When you talked about "defeating yourself" I really related.
    I've a long history of shooting myself in the foot and being my own worst enemy.
    I'm realizing that a heck of a lot of that had to do with PMO addiction.
    It affected relationships, jobs, attitude, and much more.

    Life can still throw curve balls but at least we won't be throwing them at ourselves.
    Be well,
  15. spinergy

    spinergy New Member

    I just re-read this. This is very powerful stuff--a lot of it resonates with me.

    I hope you're still on the righteous path, brother.

    Stay vigilant, stay strong.

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