2nd attempt - previous best 96 days - feeling good

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by Diceman, Aug 22, 2012.

  1. Diceman

    Diceman New Member

    Re: 2nd attempt - previous best 96 days

    Day 2. Got a date in a couple of hours. Man, wish I hadn't relapsed the other day. A little nervous, not had a date in well over ayear. Never used to get nervous as i was always confident they'd go well. Recent lack of success has knocked my confidence a lot. Lets see how it goes, need to get in a positive mind set.
  2. MikesB

    MikesB Member

    Re: 2nd attempt - previous best 96 days

    What's up man? Haven't heard from you for a long time.. ;) How did the date?

    Aldous, I'd like to know how it will be... :( But judging from my experience when I rarely was totaly mad about my exgf. I simply had to fuck her. It was the only thing that I was able to think about. :D
  3. Diceman

    Diceman New Member

    Re: 2nd attempt - previous best 96 days

    Hey Mike. Date went well, however I don't think I'll see her again, there just wasn't a spark. Had a good time though.

    Currently coming to the end of day 4. I've pmo'd 3 times this month. Today was really hard, lots of energy and I didn't have anything to do. Time goes slowly without pmo. Did 100 press ups when I got in from work. Desperately want some female company now. You start to think about things when pmo isn't the focus of your life. I was having a walk at lunch today and I got a powerful feeling that something is missing from my life, like I need an adventure and am no longer willing to live in groundhog day. I feel like im waiting for my calling in life, something that can motivate me and give me a purpose. Just wish it would hurry up!
  4. MikesB

    MikesB Member

    Re: 2nd attempt - previous best 96 days

    This slow time flowing is just an ilusion. ;) I don't know why but I gave up porn and I need to extend day to 48 hours. Even I spared few hours of time by not PMOing :D Days are pretty short for me now and there is so much to do!

    It's interesting that so many of us are experiencing this need of some women company. I mean no sex just chatting or cuddling (OK! And maybe even sex :D). Missing it everyday. :/

    I know this feeling that you're living in a small box. Really need to change it. But not now. Hope that in a year I'll be able to get ready for some real journey. :) It's only up to you! You must find your purpose! ;)
  5. Diceman

    Diceman New Member

    5 days - relapses few and far between

    So this is where I'm at:

    A pattern is developing; I go all week with no PMO, then I socialise at the weekend, have a few drinks with friends then I turn to PMO the next day, I have a minor binge then reset again. This is without doubt progress of sorts, but any real progress is prevented by never going more than a week. I know I can as I have done enarly 100 days previously. I also cut out smoking this week and have so far done 100 press ups every morning. I hope if I can continue this then I will start to put on a bit of weight and then I'll join a gym and start weight lifting again. The best I've ever felt in my life was when I was into weight training. There were three of us who went evey day and we loved it, felt indestructable. When we went on a night out we had a field day, I think my best night (not sure if this is something to be proud of) was pulling 7 women in one evening then taking a cute little blonde home. How I long for those days now. I can not emphsise enough what a powerful affect body building can have on your self-esteem and confidence.

    A problem I'm having with the relapse is that part of my brain tells me that I do not have a problem with PMO and that my problems in life are caused by other things. Examples: 1) My tiredness and lack of motivation is because I've left change too late and I just need to accept my life, I missed the boat and I have no motivation because I've accepted that this is the way it has to be. 2) I don't meet women anymore because I'm not good looking enough (only last year one of my friend's wives commented to him that I was good looking but my brain refuses to believe this. About 3 years ago I had a short relationship with a girl that men used to stare at in the street). I just can't believe that a woman can be interested when I talk to her and I'm sure I come across as having no self-confidence. This does however seem to change the longer I go without PMO. 3) My anxiety is just part of who I am and is something I will have to live with, despite never having it as a kid. I was always shy but aren't a lot of kids. A lot of people only grow in confidence when they go to uni and live their own lives. Thinking about it, in uni I felt great a lot of the time, the world was my oyster, I answered to no one, no boss, just me and my mates, partying, learning, sports and devising our masterplans for business ventures when we left uni. Oh, and playing far too much Mario Kart on the SNES. Best game ever.

    I seem to have gone off on a tangent slightly, but my point is that I am too easily convinced by my lizard brain. A technique I am going to start using is something I read by Tony Robbins for motivation that involves visualising where you will be in 5 years if your behaviour remains the same. It can get quite emotional this, the first time I tried it I felt sick at the thought that in 5 years I might be middle aged, single living in a bedsit somewhere as all of my friends had settled down, still working a job far below my skill level and spending my evenings staring at a computer screen watching P. Then you visualise where you could be in 5 years and all the great experiences you have if you take the right option now. I found this very effective a couple of years ago now and I don't know why I didn't use it more.

    If you got this far, thanks for reading, it's good to get my thoughts down in writing. Time to get out of bed. 100 press ups, off for a hair cut then first soccer match of the season.
  6. MikesB

    MikesB Member

    Re: 2nd attempt - previous best 96 days

    My post will be little bit messed up but I hope you get it...

    Women are strange animals. You can be overweight and some will like you. You can be slim as hell and some will like you. You can be bald and some will like you. You can can be body-builder and some WON'T like you. If one said that you look good there will be a lot of others that think it too. ;)

    If you know the pattern then change it. ;) It's nothing easier than this. If you relapse after you get drunk as a lord then don't drink so much or stop it at all. Don't listen to your lizard brain. ;) I know that it's hard. Right now I'm feeling panic that this won't work. But look at it from a different point of view... You can spend three months by reebot and then have a wonderful sex with a wonderful girl that you can choose. That's gonna happen if your lizard "friend" is wrong. What happens if he's right? You will lose three months of your PMO life... 30 years or 3 months? I would choose 3 months of hell and then having wonderful life again. Sacrificing only THREE months of my life worth another 30 wonderful years. ;)

    I've heard about this technique. It haven't worked for me. From my personal experience I suggest you to use hidden reminders ;)
  7. Diceman

    Diceman New Member

    Day 5 - relapses few and far between now

    Only day 5 but I 've given in to PMO once in three weks and it wasn't even a binge. I'm getting less and less of a thrill from it and I think the association with PMO and pleasure that my brain has built up is becoming weaker and weaker. The positive of this; well my anxiety is noticeably lower when I'm free of it and I have way more energy and enthusiasm.

    Just got back from a date. She was pretty but no real spark, found it quite hard work as I don't think I had any real attraction to her. The negative is that my brain could not be convinced that there was a possibilty that she was attracted to me. I used to be very confident in these situations. Not sure what has caused me to feel this way, I've managed to convince myself that over the space of three years I've completely lost any looks I had. Could be true but surely not.

    I had an initial meeting wih a hypnotherapist / life coach last week and I've got my first proper sessoin on Monday. I really liked her and hope we can clear up some of these self esteem issues.

    I've also come up with a business idea that will allow me to work on my passion every day. I'm curently writing my business plan to hopefully get a governement grant to get it off the ground. I need to stay off the PMO to make sure I keep my motivation

    Also, on the way home from the date tonight I thought to myself, everything I do, job, working out, learning, is just a means to attract a mate. Probably not just me but the majority of men. But, I spend my whole life worrying about sh*t that doesn't matter but no time actually trying to meet a girl. Therefore, I could end up wasting my whole life worrying and working in a job I don't like and when I look back on my life I'll think "fu*k, what a waste of a life, what was I thinking'! What a sobering thought that is. Surely that is enough to chase my dreams and lfe my life to the full.

    Mike, thanks for your input, hope you are well mate.
  8. Diceman

    Diceman New Member


    So I just thought I'd give you guys a quick update after my hypnotherapy session on Monday;

    We started off with a chat about the unconcious mind and such things that I was already clued up on. Was a bit frustating wasting time going through stuff I already knew and I tried to convey this in the nicest possble way. The hypnosis session itself, from what I can remember was that she led me down two paths in my mind, one where I chose to procrastinate, feel sorry for myself and continue with the actions that get me nowhere and see myself in 1 year, 5 years and 10 years, then I was guided up a new path where I decided to make different choices. There was more detail to it than that but that is the gist of what I can consciously remember.

    Since then I've felt a drive to follow a different path. I definitely feel more confident and driven. In situations where I would normaly feel anxious I've been able to tell myself 'well I can panic and worry but that is not the path I'm going down anymore'. If I lose my job then so be it, I will stand up for myself, I will say what I think. So far I have been feeling in a very good mood. I've been emailing loads of women on Match, I'm listening to a stop smoking CD and I'm reacting much better in most situations.

    The only negative now is that I'm broke, but even with that I'm determined not to overspend this month to get myself back on track. If I can have one really good month then my finances will be in good order and I can enjoy the rest of the year. i also have a date on Wed with an attractive asian girl. I just need to make sure I stay on this path now.

    On the PMO front, it's abouut once a week and only softcore. I feel very close to conquering this for good. It's actually an effort to look at porn now.

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