28 years old, time to get rid of this shit!

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by dualwield, Nov 23, 2014.

  1. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    Today I did a good work out. Studied for a bit and then texted my friends and asked them to go to the beach with me, it was beautiful weather. Most of them joined and we had a very good day! I am proud that I brought everyone together, it was appreciated. There were crazy many hot chicks at the beach, could not help to stare a bit.

    Goal for tomorrow is to study a lot more, work out. Probably no beach since I got a minor sunburn today.
     
  2. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    Passed the test, amazing. Worked so hard for it.

    Very good day today, park with the gang, went swimming. Baby girl joined. Went to her place, the park, had a lot of fun all day.

    Had sex with her. Came home late, clock is 6 am now. MO'd 4 times, drunk and yea bored maybe? Trouble falling asleep. Good night.
     
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2020
  3. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    Feeling very asexual and lethargic today. Was no reason for me to MO binge this morning. I was very tired and drunk but that should be no excuse.

    I was happy about being able to perform workout pills with baby girl. Don't know why I had to MO, I have a tendency to make things worse in that regard when I am drunk so I will have to control it better.

    Will prob take minimum a week and maybe up to a month to regain all the positive sexual energy you get from nofap. We will see, I will just focus on enjoying summer, working out and staying healthy.
     
  4. Matei99

    Matei99 I hope One day I'll be cured

    Hi, what day of your streak are you in? how many times did you relapse? Are your erection getting better since you started?
     
  5. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    Was out with some friends today, went swimming. Another good day, very chill. Was way too tired to go to the gym so I still have to do a couple of 6 days of training-weeks to catch up.

    I actually MO'd four times more in the following evening. Not good. I will now have serious libido problems for a while I guess. So dangerous to slip up. immediately leads to MO binging. Even though it might happen once per month or so, it is unneccessary.

    Hi! No PMO: 205 days. Relapsed many times during like 8 years or something. My erections are getting better the longer I stay away from PMO and the longer I go without O.
     
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2020
  6. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    Woke up today feeling like shit. Post MO sadness you could say, so depressed. Almost angry, feeling irriated over a lot of BS tasks at work, too much to do. Not ready to start working again, feels like I never had a vacation since I spend 80 % of my vacation to study for that difficult test.
    Listening to some rock and roll, at least I get shit done today, using my anger to do some productive stuff. Hoping I can bounce back and will feel better tomorrow.
     
  7. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    So the motivation for working out was not there today, my willpower eroded after yesterday's binge. But I have kept myself in check today. I have to recognize that my motivation is lower than normal right now and it's time to "just do it!". I will go to the gym early tomorrow so I get it done. I feel so much better after working out too.
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2020
  8. Thisworld

    Thisworld Member

    The most important thing is that you stay away from porn, if you manage to do that even while MO'ing you will get there.
    Just an advice: instead of do long streaks of hardmode followed by MO binges maybe try to allow yourself to MO regulary once every 10 days or so, in order to keep the urge under control and avoid binges, it's even more healty in my opinion
    (Also don't use porn/fetish fantasy when you MO).
    Stay strong, this is your life, you have control over it!
     
  9. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    Thanks a lot for the advice and encouragement!
    I agree, I could try to do M if I am feeling the urge, instead of binging that does not do me any good.
    The only thing is that I very rarely get that libido or urge to M. When it happens it is most often when I am drunk or hungover and then I can feel a bit of libido.

    I actually had morning wood one morning this week, it was also stronger than usual. I contribute some of that to my new diet, I am eating more of a vegetarian diet right now, allowing fish occasionally though, so pescetarian I guess. I have been inspired by Netflix documentaries, for example "the Game Changers" , very interesting to see how the cardiovascular system was healthier in people eating a plant based diet. So if it is good for blood flow it is good for stronger erections, which they also showed in an experiment in the documentary.

    This weekend I went to a party that baby girl hosted. Very fun! We actually did not go home together and parted ways at the metro, we were too tired to have sex anyway.

    So now it's been a week no O and I am feeling that willpower and good feelings starting to come back again. I managed to do 6 days of work out this week which is great too!
     
  10. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    I invited baby girl for a movie night yesterday. It was nice, we had fun and she stayed the night. Had good sex but EQ was not more than 70 % this time but good that I could have sex considering last week's MO binge. Impossible to go a second round after O though, my refractory period is prob around a week now. Making progress, I am not using pills.
     
  11. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    Severely depressed today. I have no hope of a normal appearance and it makes me fear all social situations, especially eating and drinking something since my lips become so irritated and dry, they are so inflamed.

    Dreaded to join my friends tonight and it took me a couple of hours to muster the courage. Dressed up, went into the city. The guys were at a fancy bar, the girls there were so hot, it was crazy. I did not get in though since I was a bit late so we did not have the correct number or chairs at our table (Corona restrictions, you have to sit down, not mingle around).

    I waited for like 45 min but decided to go home since the guys apparently had chatted up 3 hot girls.

    Really depressing Friday night. I feel like so much of my potential is lost with this lips problem and I can't stand it no more.
     
  12. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    An old fwb came by for a quickie. I O'd after a quick bj and then it was dead. Haha, I did not want to, but it was too late. I know that my refractory period is too long so it was game over after that. But it was good anyway.

    I will go for no O until end of July. I know I feel so much better and my energy is gradually increasing every week I go without O. Then after O I am feeling low for a few days before it starts to build up to positive energy again.

    The good thing is that I am going hard in the gym right now and seeing some progress.
     
  13. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    Libido still dead, monk mode is the only way to go now since I have no urges or sensation down there anyway. Had a wet dream tonight, it was a very long time ago since I had that.
     
  14. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    Baby girl was here for a movie night and stayed over. Fun to meet her again. I could also perform okey so I am going in the right direction. However I know that if I would have O'd I would be in a flatline again so I am glad I resisted.
     
  15. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    239 days without porn. Now 0 days without porn.

    It went like this. Yesterday I joined my friends in the park and we played beer pong all day, drank a lot really. A lot of people came up to us and wanted to join and for a while we were probably the biggest crowd in the park, about 30-40 people.

    A friend and I went swimming and later we went to a restaurant to eat and drink more. In the night we go to a night club, pay for a table (quite expensive) and gets around 20 drinks or so to the table. We drank so much, it was a long time ago since I was this drunk. Because of Covid restrictions you had to sit down at the table, you cannot mingle around. It is the best you can do at a club right now and even though we had a really good night the club money was a waste, it is not the same when you have to sit down and cannot talk to new people, then you can go to a cheap bar and just hang there instead for less money.

    We noticed my friend had been away for some time and it turns out he found a girl at the club to go home with, I am quite sure he must have picked her up in the entrance area and then they just went home to his place. He is so good at picking up girls, have the looks going for him and it often takes just a minute or two before he has picked up a girl and they go home for a good time. He is courageus too and takes risks, someone to look up to I think.

    After a while, we left the club, I get home drunk and a bit horny too. Starting browsing instagram and tinder and before I know if I have googled some pics and later get into a P-site. Now there is not much stopping me but I close the site down, only to start browsing it again 5 minutes later. The dopamine rush is real and I know this is bad, really bad. I think I watched P for about an hour and then went to sleep. I did not O but did some light touching.

    Have to be honest and write about this in my journal, if I would not be honest about this my brain could trick me into going back again.

    *My goal is to be a man that has left P behind, enjoy women for their beauty and have a natural way of flirting with them.
    -To achieve that goal I cannot use P again since that will just destroy my libido, ruin my sex life giving me PIED, and make me lose my self worth, charisma and motivation.

    I am reading a forum about a guy who is very successful on Tinder and I was inspired. I might start going on some dates again when I get the chance. It is so much better to meet girls in real life and get a release from real sex instead of chasing pixels on the screen.

    Today I am hungover and have blue balls. I guess I deserved it. This would not have happened if I was not so wasted, I have difficulty controlling this when I am too drunk. Have to try and not drink that much.
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2020
  16. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    On Wednesday we had some after work with colleagues. It was fun to see them, we drank beer and went to a restaurant in the evening, came home quite late...
    I felt insecure in the latter part of the night since my lips started to get worse, inflamed, red, chapped, gross. You always notice that people give hints (hand gestures, brushing their hands towards their lips looking concerned). I feel like shit because of this condition.

    On Thursday an old tinder match came over (I had met her twice 1,5 years ago and then we just had sex). We did the same now, had a good time. I O'd twice and my EQ was pretty good, around 80 % first time and 70 % second time. She just went for it so did not use a condom but put one after a while because I was so sensitive. Good progress that I feel more and that I can put on a condom now. After that it was game over and after she left I had this chaser effect and started browsing instagram for bikini models. Not good, browsed it for an hour late in the night and MO'd once, so I count that as a P-relapse.

    Feeling depleted again after, 3 O's is too much for me, 1 O would be okey if I do it every second week I think. Now it feels like I will have trouble getting an erection for a couple of weeks again. I was quite horny for the last week, because I had gone no O for about 3 weeks already.

    Now I will try to go no O for a couple of weeks again at least and see how I feel.
     
  17. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    Drank beer with friends on Friday, good night. On Saturday we spent the whole day out in the sun, enjoying different parts of the city. My lips gets worse after a few hours and I feel like shit, I notice that people look at me weird etc and my confidence is so low because of this problem. Felt sad when I came home even though it was a good day for the most part, it would just have been so much better if I don't have to worry about my shitty appearance all the time, it is eating me up inside.

    Browsed instagram when I got home, surfed into a P site later and PMO'd 3 times in the night and 2 more in the morning. My life is going downhill again. I don't know what to do, I need to try and look for help for my inflamed lips somehow again even though no medication has worked so far.

    Babygirl texted me in the morning and wanted to meet up, such a shame that I don't have any mojo left to have sex with her, I will most likely experience severe ED since my soldier is so dead and those PMO sessions involved a lot of edging. Think I will tell her I can meet another day.

    I want to feel happy again, porn is a problem that I cannot get back into. My real underlying problem is that I am concerned about my health and appearance, something is wrong with my lips and it affects me so much in everyday situations and makes me less of a man.
     
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2020 at 5:20 AM
  18. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    Went swimming w. babygirl yesterday after work. Nice weather too. We did not really have that sexual vibe, more of a friend to friend conversation so we did not have sex. But it was nice to do something on a Tuesday night. My lips looked so inflamed again so I felt a bit bad again..

    Today, Wednesday I saw this trigger on instagram, a girl with the perfect body, exactly my type, on an insta story. Ended up edging a bit to the photo but occupied myself with work instead after a while and the temptation subsided... for a while.
    When I had a break at work the photo came back to my mind and I could not shake it. MO'd to it four times. Have to stay more occupied, only managed 3 days (no PMO).
     
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2020 at 9:57 AM

Share This Page