28 years old, time to get rid of this shit!

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by dualwield, Nov 23, 2014.

  1. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    The movie was good, I would rate it 7,5/10. Good actors. However, a bit too slow for my taste, too little action. It was what I expected pretty much so I am not that disasppointed since it was a drama and I do not tend to enjoy drama very much.

    Monday today and I slept quite long. Woke up feeling a bit sluggish, like I am starting to get a cold, also snivelling a bit. I watched 2 min of P this morning, then closed it down. Went grocery shopping and later took a nap. After the nap I MO'd to touch alone. I will prob go to the gym now in the evening, it is one of my light weight days so I hope it won't be too taxing since I am not feeling on top today. Hopefully I will not be sick tomorrow, that would suck so bad since I will go abroad soon with a couple of friends.

    EDIT. PMO'd once and then MO'd once to touch. Will have to look out now and don't binge. I feel even worse now, a bit headache as well. I will go to the gym and see how it goes. Cannot sit at home more since I don't trust my brain and my impulses now.

    Ok so felt pretty good to work out even though I was quite tired. Will try to stay occupied with things tomorrow so my brain do not trick me into pointless browsing on the web, that never ends well. My goals for tomorrow are:
    * buy new blinds for window (mine is broken)
    * work out (if I do not feel very sick)
    * search for some new apartments online
    * maybe go on a date later in the evening (been a month since I did that. Tinder has not worked out very well for me lately and I have also lost a bit of enthusiasm about meeting new girls)
     
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2019
  2. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    Ok so I woke up around noon, feeling worse today. I have a cold. I don't have fever or throat ache but feeling dizzy and sniveling a lot. I will not go buying those blinds today or work out and I cancelled the date tonight. I will however take a short walk and pick up my pants from the tailor.

    Edit. I have been feeling so tired the whole day. No energy to go to the tailor or to work out. I have a runny nouse so I will just be chilling at home tonight as well. I MO'd once during the day, no P though, but I was feeling a bit horny, probably more because I was a bit bored.

    Hopefully I will feel a bit better in the morning.
     
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2019
  3. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    Could not sleep that well. Blocked nose. Clock is 6 am and I MO'd to touch alone once. It's tricky to abstain from MO when you are feeling sick and spend your time in bed. Will try to fall asleep again.

    I could sleep some more but when I woke up 11 am I MO'd twice more. Hmm.. Will prob have to read up on some success stories to get some motivation back. Since my overall health is low right now I am struggling to resist.
     
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2019
  4. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    My trip abroad with 2 colleagues during the weekend was super fun! We went all in, just enjoying our time eating good food, drinking fancy drinks and partying a lot, took taxi everywhere. We spent quite a lot of money but it was still very worthwhile. We partied until 6 am both nights so I reckon I did not sleep more than 4 or 5 hours per night. Danced with some hot chicks at the club and made out with 2.

    Tonight I went over to jug girls place. We saw some TV series, she gave me popcorn and cookies and had sex. She told me it was the first time she was able to orgasm without clit stimulation during sex so that was fun to hear.

    Tomorrow I will go to the gym again. Feeling better now since my cold has passed.
     
  5. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    I slept until 1 PM. Woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Have been tired and easily irritated all day. Kind of depressed. It has been rainy and grey outside all day. Started the day with 5 min of P, did not M but watched some and that was not good, resetting the meter. After that I ate some breakfast and chilled out. Went out to the grocery store. Did not go to the gym today. Russian girl will come over now tonight for some chill evening. Hope tomorrow will be better, will not sleep all day.

    EDIT. Russian girl was here, we had good sex. Later my friends and I booked a trip over New Year's. Looking forward to that!
    PMO'd three times before sleep. A lot of edging searching for many vids. Not good. Will have to create some urgency in life to get rid of this problem now.
     
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2019
  6. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    Slept for long. It's dark and grey outside today too. I feel out of energy even though I have slept much. Probably season bound depression coming, I usually feel down every fall when it is dark outside. I PMO'd once. Will now implement some drastic measures. I know deep down that I hate PMO and that it causes my ED so that is why I will do the following:

    * For every P thought, imagine a red stop sign in my head. If that is not enough and I think about browsing for some pics or whatever I will immediately slap myself in the face (not to cause damage but enough to wake me up again). Also preferably shut the computer down for a bit and go do something else.
    * Every time I touch my dick, slap myself in the face again. Reason being that this kind of touching is something I do unconciously so now I will stop it at the start so things to not escalate.
    No touch, no fantasy about girls policy.

    Also, have promised myself to finally go to the gym again. I need it and I might feel a bit better afterwards for taking some action.
     
  7. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    Gym two days in a row now. Feels good. Yesterday (Thursday) I went to a student pub with a friend. We drank a lot of beer and talked to some guys and girls. It was fun and we will probably do it again soon.

    I was hungover today though and feel like I need that break from alcohol. I'm putting in a challenge for the coming month (drink maximum 3 strong beer per party. Can drink alcohol free beer after that if I want). This will make my body feel better and that I do not waste whole days lying in bed feeling miserable. My work outs will also benefit from this.

    After the student pub last night I went over to jug girls place. We cuddled some and had some sex. It was bad, I only could muster a semi erection even though I used pills. Also lost it after a while. I slept over but could not sleep so went home 6 am. Could not sleep at home either until 11 am. So I slept in the middle of the day instead until 3 am. Not good, my sleep problems are still bugging me. Will try to sleep earlier tomorrow since I am quite awake and it's 2 am soon. Also I will have to get up 4 am Sunday morning since I will work the whole day.
     
  8. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    I am proud of myself today. Worked 13 hours on a Sunday and did a good job. Very tired now though and my vacation is hereby ended. Tomorrow is the start of a new week. I will reward myself for working today, most probably gonna buy a new phone with better camera during the Christmas sale. Aiming for Huawei p30, read lots of reviews and that seems to be an excellent phone!

    I am in deep flatline again, no sensation at all. Jug girl wrote me today, said she had received an order (vibrating egg with remote control) from an online sex shop. I was pretty much indifferent to that since I am in a flatline.

    Honestly not looking forward to get back to work tomorrow. I'm not in the position I want to be in and I want to change my job. Also heard that one of my more skilled colleagues has landed a new job. Not many colleagues likes working in our department since the everyday tasks are too simple and administrative. I will try to make the best of it and focus on applying for new jobs. Also feels good to get back to the gym.
     
  9. Lakaf

    Lakaf Active Member

    Lets have a battle for how much days we can go!!
     
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  10. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    Sure let's do that!
     
  11. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    Tommorow is Friday and the work week has been quite hectic. A lot to do, really longing for the weekend now.

    Our booked apartment during New Years got canceled so we are now looking for new accommodation. Hope that we will work it out.

    I am still in a very deep flatline, to the point that I have no sensation at all, my D is also much smaller than usual and I have no drive for engaging with girls. On that note, baby girl wrote to me saying she will be in town during the weekend so I will meet her tomorrow. No idea yet on whether we will be able to have sex, doubt pills would work right now.

    Another thing, feels so nice to work out now. I am gaining some weight again.
     
  12. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    Weekend! Baby girl visited me last night and we drank some beer. She also stayed the night. It was nice to meet her. I took a pill and could muster an erection but I did not feel much and it was not that hard. Could not go again. Really feeling the flatline.

    Also a girl from last summer texted me and wanted to hang out. She lives in another city but is now in town for a week. We decided we could meet on Sunday evening. Let's see if I am in the mood for sex then. I had really good sex with her before I remember.

    Today I will meet my family and later in the evening go clubbing with a few friends.
     
  13. Lakaf

    Lakaf Active Member

    Life seems great.
     
  14. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    Yea it was a fun weekend! Really nice to meet family and go partying with friends. However, I was so hungover on Sunday. Stayed in all day, did not work out as planned but I did the laundry. Also the girl from last summer came over. We basically just cuddled. She is friendly, I was so out of energy though. But we had sex for a long time, I could not O but she could for sure. Flatline makes me not wanting girls that much right now.

    I still want to limit alcohol for a while, but I felt that yesterday had to be an exception since I met some old friends and we were all in a good party mood.
    I want to focus on my training again.

    Today, Monday, was absolute shit at work. I was super tired, felt like I had brainfog the entire day. I know this is the side effect from Kamagra. I always feel like shit the day after. So that's why I feel like not having sex right now, it's not that worth it with the side effects. Could have had it tonight with a new girl from tinder (who recognized me at the club and made out with me) but she was not that attractive after all (a size bigger and not so pretty) so I did not jump at the chance.

    Hope I have more energy tomorrow. I will go to the gym again after work.
     
  15. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    I slept for long and woke up feeling more energized. However, only the first two hours at work was good then I started to snivel and felt like I was getting sick again. I had to go the bathroom a few times to blow my nose. I could see in the mirror that my eyes had become red, just like I was battling an infection. Yeez, I can't have another cold, it was just two weeks since the last one. I so wanted to work out today as well but I just could not do it, my energy level dropped drastically and I did not feel well enough. Right now it feels like I have a mild cold.

    Let's see how I feel tomorrow. Tired of being sick all the time. This is my third cold in under 6 months, which is not normal. 2 colds per year is more normal and I easily double that. I will have to try the gym anyways if it does not get worse tomorrow, my training is suffering way too much.
     
  16. Lakaf

    Lakaf Active Member

    2nd cold in 6 month that's odd.
     
  17. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    I worked out with light weights on Wednesday and Thursday. Since I do not have a sore throat or fever and minimum sniveling I decided to try it out. Went ok but my pulse would not go down so fast between sets so I rested longer than usual. Today Friday I felt so lethargic and weak at work, also had some headache and felt a bit dizzy. Luckily it was a half day at work so I could go home and rest.

    Jug girl wanted me to come over tonight to chill out. I went to her place, we watched a movie and cuddled. I was not in the mood for sex (still flatlining bad) so I gave her a massage and took care of her. Could only have sex, semi hard, for 20 sec and it would not go hard during a blow job. Haha my body is not ready for sex it seems. Did not want to push it with pills tonight.

    She asked me yet again why I rarely text her asking for a meet up. She felt like she was only chasing me. I said that I enjoy her company when we meet but that I'm quity busy with work and gym during weekdays and my libido is low at the moment so once a week has been enough for me. I also said I'm not looking for something serious. She said she was a bit over me after I said that.

    She said she was kind of ambivalent about the whole thing, she likes to talk and text much (she texts her friends and mum several times a day). She also asked why I don't text my friends often and stuff like that. The conclusion was that we are very different in how we contact friends, family, and one another. Also she was kind of open to start dating for real, or at least have some of the couples dates just because she likes doing fun things. She enjoyed going to the cinema, stand up and not just having sex in front of a movie all the time. She is open to meet without having sex as well. However she is a very horny girl and likes to have a lot of sex.

    So that was that. I don't feel like meeting her very often anyway since I'm in a deep flatline, and not in the mood for pills right now because of side effects. I have also been sick a lot and tried to juggle 3 fwbs for a while which is not working from previous experience when you have low sex drive.

    To be brutally honest, I don't see me and jug girl ever becoming a couple and don't see ourselves as good friends if we were to stop meeting up, our relation is only based on sex. My experience of previous fwb relations is that they are not that long lived. When you come to the point where you stop having a sexual relation (moving on), there is not enough left to keep having a friend relation.

    So what should my focus be now when I am feeling low and flatline is at its worst? Ideally I should be focused on gym, looking for an apartment, contacting my few friends more and trying to make new friends as well as job hunting. Jug girl has a point, I rarely talk to my friends and what is the reason for that?
    One reason is that I'm not good at calling, texting friends just to hear how their day was. I like better just meeting them and doing stuff. Another reason is that I don't have many friends and have not had that the past 5 years. I'm getting older, 28 in 2 weeks and it is getting a bit trickier meeting new friends since I don't have school and work is only ok. Also I have probably lost my positive vibe a bit so I have not actively looked for friends at work for some time etc. My mood is closely related to that I don't like my work tasks much.
     
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2019
  18. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    Yesterday, Saturday, I focused on taking some initiatives. I contacted my friends and asked whether they wanted to play some pool and have a beer. Most people had other plans but two said yes. We had really fun and later three other guys came by (friends to my friend) so we were 6 guys in total, drinking beer and playing pool. We all thought it was really fun! Jug girl texted me during the evening and wanted me to come over later to a home party (Halloween party) which some of her student friends had put together. She was really on me and desperately wanted me to come there. Also she pulled the trick "rescue me, 3 sleezy guys are hitting on me here", I don't doubt that since she was easily one of the hottest babes at the party and there were good looking girls there and some guys actually seemed quite sleezy.

    So after 3 hours of pool me and the guys were finished anyway, I went home, changed to my Black Spiderman outfit (really tight, looks quite good I think and I have not used it four a few years). Then took a cab to the homeparty. Jug girl let me in (she was dressed like a devil, succubus, very sexy) and the party was quite small, around 50 people in a brand new building on the 5th floor so we had a lot of space. I immediately noticed that my outfit got attention. Jug girl led me around the place, giving me drinks and wanted me to say hi to people (she knew 90% of the people there since it was students from her school). I focused on having fun and I must say it was a nice party! We played some beer pong and danced, also played limbo (which I won against the shortest girls there hehe and I am very tall). Some girls discretely "touched me" and gave me some compliments etc, even jug girl noticed that she had to step in and show that I was there for her. I think I got much attention since the Spiderman outfit is so tight and it showed off my body in a good way.

    I know I said I would not focus much time on jug girl and I really am not. However, I was in the mood for a Halloween party so it was just fun to go there with her and meet her friends etc. Also, I actually wanted to try on my Spiderman outfit again haha.

    After the party jug girl and I took an e-scooter back to her place (we live like 50 m from each other by the way). She said on our way up to her apartment that she was very tired. We came in, she was immediately focused on getting the bed ready and go to sleep. She gave me a good night kiss and went to sleep quickly. I had popped a pill in the bathroom since I thought she at least wanted to have a quickie before bed (she had been so on me during the party and seemed turned on) but I guess she became tired quickly when we came home. So there I was, rubbing my hard D against her butt and she noticed but did not care anyway, she said "you can take me whenever you want during the night when I am asleep, that turns me on, but right now I am quite tired..." So I guess she allowed me to just fuck her while she was sleeping. I thought about it for a while and actually wanted to do it but noticed I was not that turned on anymore, my hard-on was going down and I was getting more tired as well. She is so open with sex, it's crazy. I would not be surprised if she has had sex with hundreds of people, she is 22 now, and she has told me she lost her v-card at 14, been with all types of men (short, tall, thin, big: bodybuilders etc) and she has also told me she has always been a horny girl.

    She was snoring a bit and I could not sleep as usual so I took my stuff and left at 4 am, while she was still sleeping. I wrote a text saying I did not want to wake her up and thanked her for a fun party.

    So today, Sunday, I have a little bit headache but not too much since I did not drink that much yesterday. But the Kamagra side effects are always there..
    Still in a very deep flatline though but somehow it makes me focus on other stuff than meeting girls etc. I will meet my old friend next Saturday instead for some beer, maybe pool since he could not join last night. Will go to the gym today and also rest quite a bit.
     
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2019
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  19. Lakaf

    Lakaf Active Member

    Dude, Your lifes going great.
     
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  20. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    I have been away on a 2 day conference with my work. It was a lot of fun! We had some work shop, had really good food and wine, also the party was fun as well. I only slept around 4 hours the past two nights so it was quite taxing.

    Today was an ordinary work day. Went to the gym and later jug girl wanted to come over to watch a TV series we both watch. We just cuddled and watched TV, no sex. I am not in the mood to take pills to have sex anyway right now and I am in deep flatline still... The fact that jug girl has not initiated any sex at all the past two times is a bit odd, I touched her thigh a bit and she said she was tired (she meant to tired for sex). Does not bother me, as long as I can rewire a bit I am happy.

    Tomorrow I will go to the gym again. I was too tired and hungover to work out after the conference. Once again the alcohol and parties is messing with my work outs. I am not in a very good shape right now and I need to prioritize gym better in order to get some results. At least my new gym schedule has given me some more upper body strength but I have not worked out abs for like a month.
     
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