28 years old, time to get rid of this shit!

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by dualwield, Nov 23, 2014.

  1. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    Yesterday I hung out with friends and we spent the whole day in the park just drinking beer and enjoying the sunshine. We also went clubbing in the night and had fun, we were quite tired though.
    When I got home I was drunk and quite horny, I actually peeked on some P for a few minutes. Not good at all! I am starting to slip so I cannot keep rationalizing that a quick peek is okey, I feel like the P thoughts are starting to come back so now I have to stop those thoughts. I don't want to have a full relapse.
    Not getting dates with new girls on Tinder but I have matched with some old flings and met up with one girl two nights ago (I met her 2 years ago one time) and we had some fun, she is a very open-minded and beautiful girl.
     
  2. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    On Friday I actually managed to get a date with a beautiful girl. It was like the first new date in 3 weeks. We had a really good chat at the pub and the best thing was that I just focused on having fun and had no agenda whatsoever, I casually invited her to my place to watch a movie after the pub (without actually caring what she would answer) and turns out, she wanted to come. We had good sex and she slept over at my place.

    Yesterday I took a day of off clubbing (my friends went to a bar) but I had a headache and really needed to catch up on sleep. I actually peeked on P again. I don't know why, it's the thoughts coming back. Tonight I will meet up with another old fling at my place, let's see how that goes. It's not like I have a shortage of girls, so I don't know why I peeked on P, I have to stop that and take action like going for a walk or working out if I feel the thoughts coming back again.
     
  3. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    I am sick, have a sore throat and some headache. I ate some veggies that had been in my fridge for a few days, I think that might have been the problem (I have no blocked nose or anything). It really sucks cause I don't have the energy to work out and I must also study and work a lot this week. I had to cancel two meetups with old flings as well... Also peeked on P this morning, I was just feeling miserable, not good. Hope I get better soon.
     
  4. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    Feeling better, I was sick for like a week so I did not work out in the gym for a while. I am back now however and getting back to basics. Yesterday I had a lot of fun with friends when we partied, I invited an old friend to join who is single now and I can say that he contributed with a lot of positive energy. We decided that we are now at least three guys who will party together this summer since we are all single. It will be great so I am looking forward to that. I was so hungover today, woke up still a bit drunk and watched some P since I was too horny. Always drunk when I seem to watch a bit before turning off so it is like I have trouble controlling myself when drunk. After a short peek I slept like 6 more hours. Luckily I have an old fling coming over tonight to my place so if all goes well I will give her a good time.
     
  5. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    It's been a fun weekend. On Friday I just took it easy since I had been up late the previous night with an old fling. On Saturday I went to the gym and studied, then later in the evening I met up with two friends and we went clubbing. We had a lot of fun and the first interaction I initiated with three girls lead to some good talk, we hung out with those girls the entire night and invited them for afterparty at my friends place. We played some beerpong and drinking games until 7 AM so we were up all night. There was one girl who was DTF, one girl who was not interested at all in something intimate and 1 bomb (ugly girl with short hair, looked like a lesbian). We played truth or dare and as expected, the DTF girl had done some crazy shit (threesomes, foursomes with three other guys) and she made out with my two friends and spanked me on my ass and stuff haha. I really thought she wanted to bang my friend but he did not do much to her in the bathroom, just made out. Her friends were not as fun although all of them had had threesomes earlier. So noone really hooked up at the afterparty. I really want to have a threesome sometime, feel like I have missed that.

    I only slept like 3 hours and then woke up (my room was bright because the sun was shining) drunk, I peeked some P for a short time (shame on me). Then I messaged my fwb and she came over today and chilled. I managed to have sex with her without a pill (although I was only semi-erect the whole time and would never have been able to put on a condom). Later in the night I met up with a new girl from Tinder, the plan was to go out for drinks but when we met she suggested going for coffee instead. We just had a good talk, there was some funny banter but nothing sexual really, no touching. I don't know, next time I will suggest we meet at my place or drinks, to have the sexual mood.

    Tinder has been very slow, I only get dates every third week or so right now, hope it gets better in summer. I am also spending a lot of money on clubs etc the past months.
     
  6. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    What is my focus? I can't tell no more. I am spending my time at work just waiting for the weekend since I am so tired of my job. But I am not applying for new jobs right now either, it's like I have lost motivation the past months for that. I have been partying a lot lately and this morning I came home from the club around 5 am, good thing is that I have reignited an old friendship and I am spending time with friends. The bad things are that am so hungover on weekends that I barely study or do not have the energy to apply for jobs. I think I have to cut back on the drinking some to save my energy and my wallet.

    I am doing okey in the gym, working out 3 or 4 days a week and gaining some weight again. Just have to get my life back on track in work and studies too and I will be okey!
     
  7. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    Writing this when I am still drunk. My focus is all over the place haha. I had plans to study this friday night since I have an exam in a week. So for the record, I did not plan to go to AW today but there was a popular event so eventually I went to a bar with a lot of colleagues. We had a blast and drank beer after beer. After a few hours another colleague invited us to a party. It was a release event/homeparty so some guys made a pitch about a product in an office and there was also a lot of hot girls all over the place. It was a perfect place to have a party, they had a ping pong table, open bar, lounge area, outside terrace, separate rooms. It was great. My colleague has a rocky relationship and he did not know that his girlfriend was also attending the party so that was kind of akward. Also another colleague of mine made out with another colleague and I am pretty sure they went home together, I am also 90 % sure she still has a boyfriend, she had a bf a couple of months ago and I do not think that has changed. My colleagues went home eventually and I was the only one left playing ping pong with the others. I bounced after a while and now I am at home drunk chilling and contemplating over how the guy at work could bang my hottest colleague who is in a relationship. He is really social and she is very shy so that is why I am surprised, but shy girls are no angels for sure. Tomorrow is gonna be studies and party with friends in the evening, first dinner celebrating a birthday and then the night club later.

    EDIT: A fling wanted to meet me during the night and she arrived at my place 4.30 AM so I did not sleep much. Now the clock is 1.30 PM the next day and I will have to eat some breakfast and try to study even though I am super tired and a bit hungover. Haha my life. At least I am having fun!
     
    Last edited: May 18, 2019
  8. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    I was too hungover to study today. Was inside all day. Eventually I went out to a nightclub with friends and we had a okey time. Everyone was a bit tired tonight. I passed on the dinner since I had to rest and I ate lunch at like 6 PM. A good thing was that I did not drink alcohol tonight, only a redbull so I will not be hungover in the morning when I have to study. Met an old fling and her friend at the club and said hi, they had kind of an arrogant vibe and left after just a minute. Typical bitch like behavior so next time she texts me I will be kind of unresponsive, she has not earned my attention if she treats me that way. The clock is now 4 am and time for me to head home.
     
  9. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    I have been feeling quite weak the past week. Like I'm on the verge of getting sick but not really there. Have had some dry cough, headaches, irritated throat, reoccuring dizziness. Have not had throatache or a very runny nose. Have been to the gym 3 times, which is one less time than usual. I hope I feel better in the morning so I can go to the gym again, because I have been resting much this week. I have not been that much weaker than normal at the gym but have felt exhausted, it was a struggle just to sit upright and look myself in the mirror in between sets. Once again, dizziness came and went. Quite scary. It was really bad in periods today at my exam. Like I almost felt like I would pass out.

    So I had to pass on partying with my 2 friends tonight. I'm quite sure it would not be good for my body to pull an all nighter with alcohol when I am feeling this way. I need to rest. I don't think they are too upset about it, it seemed they a managed to get a tinder double date to their preparty.

    Another thing, no more studies for me! I think I passed the exam so that is great! This means that I will have more freetime and finally can focus on what I want to do. I did not feel that happy after handing in the exam, I had to focus on walking straight since I felt lightheaded.

    Moreover, a deep flatline has hit me this week. Tiny pecker, cold, shriveled and no sensation. No interest in meeting up with girls. Have passed on some opportunities from old flings. I need rest now, not little sleep and side effects from taking Kamara and forcing my body to have sex.
     
  10. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    Still in flatline. No horniness. I can appreciate the beauty of girls when I walk by them on the streets but I have felt no urge for release and no sexual awakening.

    Yesterday was a fun day with 3 friends. We drank some beer in a bar and the weather was perfect. Warm and sunny and people went swimming in the water. We also ate some pizza and just had a really good day. I was a little tipsy in the evening so I messaged an old fling and she came over. Maybe it was stupid since I did not feel much during sex. The kamagra helped so I could get an erection but I could sense the flatline still. I want to feel horny again, hope that I will be cured soon.

    Tinder is not working out at all for me right now. Have no success and all girls do not respond or like never asks me any questions. Girls have so many guys to choose from so they never have to lift a finger or put in an effort...

    Tomorrow I will travel to my hometown to my family to celebrate my nephew.
    I have also set up a new goal in the gym. I will work out 5 days a week during the summer. I used to work out 5 days a week for years but the past 2 years have been 3 or 4 days a week for me. Will see if that can help me get in better shape and gain more muscle. I have more free time now when I don't have studies anymore so working out is a good choice.
     
  11. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    Did my 5 days of work out this week so proud of that. Yesterday I was in my hometown, celebrating my nephew. It was nice to meet family and some friends to my brothers and his gf. My ex was there too and I spoke to her quite a lot. Good that we get along and that there is no hard feelings between us because she is very involved in my nephew and family. She sees them more than I do right now since she lives in the area over the summer.

    I did not party this weekend and that was probably good because yesterday my recurring cough came back. I'm not feeling sick but have an irritated throat and dry cough.

    My pecker is still limp and shrunken. No activity whatsoever. Wondering how long this flatline will last. I am beginning to appreciate girls for their beauty again so that feels good. After the gym today I also caught many girls checking me out. Only frustrating that I cannot feel horny.
     
  12. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    So I caught a cold again.. Yesterday was torture at work, I had to to go to the bathroom to blow my nose 15 times. I counted haha. Today I had to go 10 times so it was a bit better. Have not had energy to work out but my throat is ok now. Maybe I will try to work out tomorrow if I don't have a headache. My immune system has been bananas the past year. Now I have started tracking how often I am sick because the past year I have been sick like once per month which is really bad. To my defense, I noticed like half of the people at work sneezing and sniveling a lot too so I was not the only one this time. I guess everyone can still perform their work so no one wants to stay at home and lose money.

    Tomorrow is also a summer party for work. I really hope I feel better in the morning so I can attend and enjoy the party.

    I have not been with a girl for soon 2 weeks now I think so I am hoping that my horniness will come back soon. I especially miss morning wood which I have not had like the past half year. It usually comes back after a longer time of no MO for me. The recent months I have been indifferent and asexual almost. All feeling in my pecker gone.
     
  13. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    I have been working out pretty well lately. Around 4 or 5 times a week. Getting stronger in some exercises and plateuing in others. Have to mix it up a bit more soon.

    I still have an irritated throat. Had it for about 3 weeks but no throatache so I am working out.

    I met two new girls the past week. The first one was super sexy, perfect body, big jugs. The second one was quite big but still sexy because of her very ample chest. Both girls have messaged me and want to meet again. The first one I feel like I want to meet again, she was super sexy! Could have been a model and a curvy body at that.

    Have been quite tired at work this week. It's the side effect of staying up too late with the girls and also because of kamagra. The day after kamagra I get easily irritated and cannot think very clearly. It's like I have brainfog and red lips because of the increased blood flow.

    I just met with a fwb of mine, she is a very fun and open girl. Sadly, she will move to another city in a week. We have had a thing the past 3 months and met up once a week/every second week or something like that.

    Have to sleep now. It's busy days at work and today I decided to postpone my summer vacation. We get some reimbursement/bonus for doing that I and need money.

    I don't know why but I feel kind of sad right now. I know that I will be tired yet again at work and that I am still not healed. I have some good things happening the past week though. I got some erections when I thought about some of the girls I have met. They quickly faded away though but seems like maybe the flatline might pass soon.
     
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2019
  14. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    So it's been a while again. The past couple of weeks have been tough but fun! I have met jug girl a lot, she is fun to hang out with. We went swimming, had a picnic and we have met up and had sex a few times. Once I tried without kamagra and I managed to have sex with her, but I suffer from PE when I don't take kamagra so it lasted about 2 min only. That was good news. Could not go a second time though and have been feeling kind of asexual the 5 days after that.

    I have been crazy tired this week. Like my body has ached and I felt like I almost would fall asleep at work. A colleague commented about it the past days that I really look exhausted, she was a bit worried. It's weird because I have not done anything special in my freetime, mostly just watched TV series. I have worked out though which feels like a miracle that I have been able to do that yet feeling so tired. Tomorrow is gonna be a day off from gym and we will go for after work with colleagues. I need to sleep now so I can feel more alert in the morning.
     
  15. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    AW was fun yesterday, an old colleague stopped by as well. It only lasted 2,5 hours though but it did not matter because I had plans with and old fwb I have been meeting a lot (let's call her baby girl, she likes that name haha). She came home to my place and we watched a movie and had some sex. It was good. Took the usual 25 mg kamagra but could not go a second time 30 min after. She commented: "maybe the old man should take a viagra haha". Oh, if she only knew... Anyway I was tired so went to sleep around 2 am. Had trouble sleeping though, I do not know why. Maybe because of the 5 beer I drank or just because my head was full of so many thoughts.

    I thought about jug girl and that maybe I need to stop seeing her. She had posted some videos from a bdsm sexshop on snapchat, and then she went clubbing with her friends. There is this snapchat map function where you can see where your friends are if they have activated it. I have no idea why I am checking up where she are like 4 or 5 times a day. I guess it's because I'm curious to see what a girl of her level is up to.
    I have noticed a pattern and that she goes clubbing every weekend, sometimes on weekdays too. After around 1 or 2 am she turns the snapchat map function off until the next morning. I noticed she had been with other guys and this is her way of trying to hide where she goes to have sex with guys. I have a reason to worry about STDs if she is this easy/slutty. Second time we had sex she just jumped on me and put my dick in without a seconds thought about that maybe she should have let me put on a condom. God knows how many she has unprotected sex with. Her body is unbelievably hot and she has a very cute face so I would say that she actually is a solid 9, prob a level above my league. I would rank myself as a solid seven, or eight if I am in great shape.

    There has been a lot of red flags but somehow she has been so fun to hang out with that I kept having unprotected sex with her.
    She is
    *member of a bdsm site
    *a party girl, parties prob 2 or 3 times a week
    *likes the attention of guys, flirty (botox lips as well)
    *easy, she has also said herself that she is easy. I have had sex with her every time I met her and so must other guys.
    *she has a lot of sex toys, we went for a picnic with nothing other planned but she had packed her satisfier in the bag and insisted on coming up to my place for a quicke after the picnic.
    *she has bdsm tools, like wips, belts, other smaller tools, anoyher sex toy I do not know what it is. She let's me whip her and shit haha.
    *smokes weed frequently, she wanted me to try so I just went with it one time
    *only messages me on weekdays or Sundays (I am her close neighbor, she fucks other guys on weekends it seems)
    *is bisexual and kind of a nymphomaniac.

    OK so I better get myself tested.. But one good thing was that baby girl had tested herself a week ago and was clean so indirectly I could feel a bit relieved since she is the second fwb I have unprotected sex with. Not good I know and I should not be this carefree with not protecting myself with these two girls.

    Today is a poolparty at a friend's of my friends house. I don't know if I will go because it's 9 am and I still cannot sleep. We will see. Also it will be mostly guys there and none of my better friends will be there, maybe 1 at most. I hope I can sleep now, I really need it!
     
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2019
  16. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    Damn I can't fall asleep again. Now it's 10.30 and I have prob slept only 3 hours tonight. Probably won't go to the poolparty..

    I am now thinking about my birthmarks on my back, one has grown significantly and is about 8 mm in diameter and I have birthmarks popping up in my face too, which is still growing. I have a doctors appointment on Wednesday to look into whether they are malignant. In either case the one on my back is now so big that I want to remove it, but that will lead to that I need to stop working out and keep the wound dry for several weeks, prob over a month. And that would suck so badly too.. Why can my body never be normal? I always have problems, recently I also heard from my dentist that I am grinding my teeth away so I now use a mouth guard every night and my teeth are not fitting together and have changed so I cannot chew food the way I used too..
     
  17. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    So I managed to get through the day. I did not have the energy to go to the poolparty so I said no to that. I think it was the right decision because I was so tired and I would have had to force myself to interact and try to have fun. I went to the gym in the afternoon and was super tired in the beginning but the second part of the workout was okey. I also went to the supermarket in the evening so the day was not completely wasted, it was nice to get some fresh air. Baby girl texted me in the evening and wanted to have sex. I said that sure she could come over but I also said that I was a bit tired. Ultimately we decided to meet another day instead. Now just lying in bed and about to try to sleep. I think my recent symptoms of insomnia could be related to flatline. I have had periods like that before. Today my pecker has been completely dead again so apparently it needs to rest too.
     
  18. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    I slept much better last night, around 10 h. I also felt more optimistic when waking up, like I had restored some energy. It turned out to be a good, sunny day. My friends could not join me at the beach so I asked baby girl and she was happy to go to the beach. We enjoyed some good music and just hung out. It was nice. We also ended the day with some pizza at my place. But sadly she had to leave before we could have some sex, her friend needed her to call her since she had some trouble with her ex boyfriend. Anyhow. It was a fun day and the only sad part is that I had taken a kamagra just before she had to leave so now I will experience the side effects (headache, blushed face, red lips) today and tomorrow. Luckily I only take 25 mg which does not affect me too much anymore. I thought about reaching out to jug girl just to not waste the kamagra but I am a bit grossed out of how easy she is so I did not do it. I also think she will not contact me again since she has so many guys after her and last time we met I had PE and a weak boner (no kamagra then) so the sex was not good.
    Doesn't matter to much, I can feel the flatline so the pill did not help much now anyway.
     
  19. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    365 days no PM today! I am very proud of myself, I have abstained for a year. I have noticed some life in my penis from time to time so I am heading in the right direction. However, the process is non-linear and some days I can feel horny while I can be almost asexual for weeks.

    It has been a crazy long Monday full of surprises. I woke up early to go the doctor's (dermatologist/specialist) who checked my birthmarks since I had been worried about a growing birthmark on my back. I had two 8 mm birthmarks and he checked my entire body and found no malignant ones, which was a relief. I might go back to check up on the one on my back in half a year if it keeps growing.

    After that I went to work and worked until 7 pm, some overtime. Baby girl texted me (I did not even know she was in town today since she has moved to another city) and she wanted to hang out with me and her friend. I had met her other friend once before. Honestly I was very tired since i had not slept more than 5 hours the night before but I also want to become more of a "yes-man" and have fun now during summer. They wanted to drink beer so I suggested that we could sit outside my place and drink beer and enjoy the sunset. It was nice, we had fun and later went into my apartment to watch some South Park and drink more beer. One thing lead to another and the girls started talking about how much they liked each other etc. I know that baby girl, who is a bisexual nymphomaniac in her own words, wanted to be with her friend, who is bicurious, some time and that she had asked me once before if I could imagine having a threesome with them.

    One thing lead to another, we drank much beer and played truth or dare, and it was just the right mood for trying something. I just played it cool and escalation happened, before I know it we have a threesome. It was really fun and my first time! It was also their first time doing that with each other and since they are best friends it was a big moment and quite cool to see. However I had some trouble getting hard (also took 50 mg Kamagra) since I had some performance anxiety and was tired but I managed to have sex with both girls and they also took care of each other at the same time. The sex was pretty good and I think all just enjoyed the situation. When switching positions took to long I went soft again so they had to work it back up but this happens all the time to me, and it was a bit more tricky to stay hard when also having the girls go into different positions.

    So it was a very fun Monday night! The only downside is that we drank loads of beer and cider, emptied my supply so we ended up making drinks of vodka and BCAA energy drink. This contains a lot of caffeine and the girls left at 1.30 AM. It is now 3.40 AM and I am still not tired enough to go to sleep so I will be a zombie yet again at work. Also the second day in a row that I will not work out, will be interesting to see whether I have the energy to do my 5 workouts this week.

    Also, my mum's birthday was today. I had put a note in my calendar that I would call her and wish her a happy birthday. However, when suddenly baby girl and her friend stopped by I completely forgot about that. Will call her tomorrow and apologize, a bit ashamed of that.
     
  20. dualwield

    dualwield Member

    I ended up only working out 2 days that week but it was ok since my body needed the rest. It felt good to be back in the gym the week after, like I had restored some energy.

    The past time I have been working a lot. Also met with jug girl since she contacted me. She is just too hot, she could easily be a porn star. She told me of her kinks and it was a long list. She is super kinky and a nymphomaniac, even worse than baby girl I would say.

    Met baby girl a second time as well. She had just come home from Amsterdam where she went with her girl friend. She had some crazy stories. They were high every day, literally used (her own words) a guy friend that is in love with baby girl to get into a fancy restaurant and get free food and drinks for an evening. Then they just left him. They also had gone home to a rich dude her friend chatted up on tinder who had a fancy penthouse with lots of different drugs on a big table so they could take whatever. Her friend banged the guy, she did not say anything more but I suspect baby girl banged him too.

    Anyway, she told me that her girl friend and she had not fooled around, it was just the one time at my place.

    Conclusion, two girl friends in Amsterdam is gonna live it up. Nothing wrong with that but I could never use a person for their money and then just dump them like they did with that guy.
    Especially since baby girl knew he had feelings for her since a long time.

    A the moment I have 3 fwbs and that is too much so I will have to stop seeing at least one. Also an old fling contacted me and wanted me to be with her for one night of pleasure on her birthday. It's been 3 months since I last met her so it was kind of weird of her to contact me again and I just did not have it in me to reinitiate with her so I turned the offer down, in a polite manner as always. It's funny how girls come back for more if you are not interested.

    I feel so tired and like I have brain fog the day after using kamagra. That's why I cannot enjoy sex too often. I also don't have the libido to have sex everyday to be honest.

    I'm glad that I have had some success with girls the past few years. I remember feeling so down about having so little experience with girls 4 years back. That's no longer an issue. I feel I understand girls better now and know some game theory too.
     

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