27, married, addict

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by rez680, May 30, 2012.

  1. rez680

    rez680 New Member

    Started with magazines. Evolved along with the internet as I aged. Thank God I basically grew up before the high-speed internet age. I hate to think what kids are doing to their developing brains now. With dial-up, it was "Oh man I can almost see her boobs!" Now it can be 5 different tabs on 5 different sites basically satisfying whatever novel urge you have at that exact moment, streaming movies, webcams, forums, etc. Ridiculous. It reminds me of the yourbrainonporn guy making a comment that has really stuck with me; the fact that we can view more "potential mates" in a matter of minutes than our ancestors could in several lifetimes. Fact. Everything that guy says is true. Primitive brains in charge...check. Will put sex drive over food and sleep...check. Fucking up your brain chemistry...oh yes.

    I need to wrap this up, I'm rambling. This will be day one. A lot of times I convince myself it isn't a problem. But it is, so I'm going to try again. I see a lot of guys comment on how happy they are about getting morning wood or whatnot. I'm not interested in that part of it. I'd like to stop the headaches and "brainrot," the anxiety and tension, actually eat and sleep instead of marathon porn sessions. I spend a lot of time just covering my tracks. Pissing away the day.

    I'm a stone-cold addict. If it wasn't porn, it'd be hydrocodone or heroin. But my craving will always be for porn, b/c I can get the same release AND look at naked women. That's how I view myself b/c it is true. I'm a functioning addict with the ability to have things get really out of control if I don't tighten this up. So here I am.
     
  2. rez680

    rez680 New Member

    Here's a quick update. I've relapsed several times and am currently on day 3. That being said, I did have a weekend of amazing sex with my wife recently (we're currently working in two different states..see each other about every 6 weeks, which does add a twist to what I'm trying to accomplish.) Then again, sex has never been the issue. My problem is with porn, not sex.

    I'm studying yourbrainrebalanced.com when I begin to feel the urge to PMO. I've watched a few clips provided by others that have re-affirmed my suspicion that it's not my sex drive that's messed up, it's how I handle stress. I'm channeling my anxiety into the PMO rather than fulfilling my responsibilities or finding healthier ways to release my energy.

    I meditated during college, I will probably start that up again in an attempt to rebalance my brain chemistry. Reigniting some spirituality would definitely do some good on several fronts.
     
  3. pizzaman

    pizzaman New Member

    Thanks for posting Rez-

    your story helps all of us, I think.
    i'm a porn addict and like you would be and have been addicted to other things as well.
    I'm impressed you're trying to stop and I'd like to say that it's easy but for me it certainly hasn't been.

    I like that you brought up spirituality. I think in the end that is what it'll take for me to really release my porn obsession for good.
    Rely on something bigger than me to get through the cravings, something outside myself.

    Good luck!


    -pizzaman
     
  4. mentaldish

    mentaldish New Member

    I completely understand and I'm very much the same way. I totally channel my anxiety into PMO "rather than fulfilling my responsibilities or finding healthier ways to release my energy." I also starting down the addicted path of PMO from procrastination. I'm an extremely good procrastinator and because I work from home I'm able to get away with procrastinating a lot or at least I used to back when I watched Porn. I'm currently 3 weeks porn free with absolutely no desire to look at or watch it at all.
     

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