@MasterKrug I wish that were the case. If you check any ~2 years journeys then you'll always read the same pattern: time was the only true healer. Meditation, hobbies, sex, masturbation without porn---none of it improved that which only time could. I've done it all my friend. But I will say this: meditation and Buddhism are major, major tools. That shit won't cure me faster, but it helped me understand so much about myself and the nature of thoughts and impulses. Of this, in my case, I have no question. Only recently have I started having any interest in activities that used to fulfill me. Only way I got to this point was abstinence. I fucked my brain up hard. Look up the word "kindling" in regards to addiction. That's what I did: long streaks followed by binge relapses. For some reason, that shit can fuck your brain up more than constant relapse. I had a girlfriend throughout months 5-11, maybe a tad longer. I had a lot of sex. All it did was make me feel worse, though I still enjoyed it because sex is sex. The sad part about the intercourse, above many other things, was that it wasn't pure. It was more of a lust thing than a true connection. Granted it wasn't all bad or all positive, but it definitely trended towards "unhealthy". And yeah, when I was done I'd feel awful. Insecure, anxious, depressed. It made all of the symptoms I was already experiencing worse. There were some occasions when I didn't feel so bad, but that was because my withdrawals weren't as severe during those intervals. Not all cases are like mine. And I don't expect my blueprint to work or fit with other people's. This shit is all very personalized. Very, very personalized. I've never read a story that matched mine to the T. Most of them are not even close. There are just so many fucking variables involved with this stuff. Fetishes, edging, amount of relapses, personal DNA, brain structures, etc. etc. I wouldn't base anything about your recovery on mine. The one place I can help with is motivation, but I'm not actively trying to motivate anyone. The way I see it--the best way to help others is to set an example. Success stories are far more important than me doling out advice. This doesn't really apply to you--it's more me talking to myself. On the other hand, if anyone does want advice then I'd be more than happy to help. But yeah, I guess my main goal is to beat this thing. And I use these journals to kind of get rid of the toxic sludge that accumulates in my brain. Rarely do I post positive things, because I like to celebrate them on my own. But that doesn't mean I won't start chronicling my, hopefully eventual, rise to normality. If I get strong, concrete evidence that I'm getting close then I'll begin to report it. But yeah, I use these forums selfishly. It's a nice way to feel heard. I'd rather post my thoughts so others can see them than keep the pain and discomfort to myself. Thanks for posting though, because for some reason it has motivated me to remind myself that I can fail at any moment. The number one remedy, for my particular situation, is time and abstinence. The rest is and will take care of itself. I can't fuck up this close to the finish line. I gotta stay hypervigilant at all times. No R rated T.V., movies, Youtube, anything. That has been key for me. Avoid triggers at all costs, especially during the first couple months (especially first 15 days). I'll leave you with this: have you ever been abstinent long enough to know if rewiring is necessary? That should be your goal. Get there. Get to the point where you can really start evaluating what you need to do to move forward. Because when you think about it, not relapsing is the most important thing. Doesn't matter how many good things you pack into your schedule: if you relapse then you gotta start over, or, if you're like me, you gotta start from a place that's even further behind. Not trying to come down: that's just how it makes sense in my brain. Not advocating to not enrich your life for the better. All I've wanted, from the beginning of this current streak, is to get to the place where I WANT to pursue life again. But, at the same token, I'm not letting the absence of said passions to cause unneeded friction. I didn't rush anything. I allowed myself to be a blob. I knew what was inside of my heart, and I knew that I had good intentions all the way through. I'll say one last thing: the only way I was able to get this far was by learning who in the fuck I was. Porn, for me, was a tool that I used to assimilate to the world around me. It numbed and dulled me into a person that could navigate my surroundings. I was a highly insecure person up until the age of 27-28. Therapy, and surrounding myself with better role models that encouraged my true self were the only ways I was able to love myself enough to want to truly quit. Sounds self-helpy and new-age, but it's the truth. I don't know how to put it without injecting a strong does of sentimentality. I'd say most addicts out there are addicts for a reason.