Hi, I'm Ícaro(pronounce is like Ekaro), 24 yo, will turn 25 in 2023, from Brazil. I want to quit watching porn and masturbating. I thik I'm well aware of the damage it causes in my life, especially how it messes with my neurochemistry and reward system. I've been trying to quit for a couple years now, had some good streaks, but always became complacent and returned to my bad habit of pmoing. I'd love to drop it cold turkey and never do it again, but I failed many times in the past, so my approach now is trying to do it as least as I can and hopefully come to a point where I just don't do it anymore. I'm also aware porn is the sympton, not the problem, and to truly recover instead of just abstaining I'll need to fix other areas of my life. This year, in order to not become complacent, I'll try to journal and update here about my experience every week, even when I feel no urges and it feels like I have it under control, that's when I'm most likely to relapse.
Go for it @Ícaro . Signing up and journalling is a good move. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. PMO does nothing good for us. You can be excited about leaving behind a pattern of PMO and putting your life and energy into more worthwhile pursuits.
PORNFREE (Relapses) Jan/23 - 04, 06, 07 NOFAP (Relapses) Jan/23 - 04, 05, 06, 07, 09 09/01/2023 - First week of the year was tough. Dealing with unemployment right now, so much uncertainty, feelings of unworthyness, ended up relapsing after a tough day when I was feeling very hopeless. I struggle very much after a relapse, those days after are very tough and a lot of times I end up relapsing again the following days. It's humbling to think that I've had 100+ days streaks last year and now I'm struggling to go 5 days without pmo. Trying to learn from it.
Hi. Im 24yo as well and as you have the same problem ( 2years fighting addiction but failing). I hope you get over this and God bless you.
PORNFREE (Relapses) Jan/23 - 04, 06, 07, 09, 11, 12, 13 NOFAP (Relapses) Jan/23 - 04, 05, 06, 07, 09, 10, 11, 13 15/01/2023 - Second week of the year was also tough, too many relapses, but I'm actually feeling very encouraged. Don't know if anyone else feels this, but it's like a confidence that it's the beggining of a good streak. I was struggling to go even a day without doing it, now I'm almost three days clean of orgasming without much trouble. I'm one of those that pmo edging for a long time opening multiple tabs, luckly I never escalated, just amateur stuff, it's bad but it could be even worse I guess. And this week it was happening day after day to the point my dick was sore and at some point I wasn't getting erections even with porn. Then something clicked in my mind, I focused just on not fapping, and it worked. I allowed myself to watch porn and interestingly enough it lost the appeal, I felt like, whats the point if i'm not going to orgasm? Now, I want to clear that I know it ain't acceptable to watch porn and I'll try my very best to never watch it again. So we will see if I'll be able to go on a long streak now or if it was just because my dick was sore and I'll keep relapsing. This week I also was reading again on this forum the thread from @bigbookofpenis on NoArousal method, it makes so much sense to me, that's exactly what I need. My brain is very damaged from 11 years of pmo. I lack the motivation to work and studying and feel unconfortable socialising. But binging on porn excites me. So I very much need a dopamine detox as well. I'll try my best to put this method in practice, I believe in it, and will update here.
In my case I see that edging is making worse bc even if I dont O, next day I will have 2/3x more desire to PMO.
Last week I did not masturbated, it's been 10 days now, been many months since I stayed off of it for 10 days. Unfortunately I watched porn, but again, came to a point something clicked in my mind, I was watching it for like an hour, until I couldn't spike dopamine more without fapping, I actually came close, but something clicked and I was like, what's the point of doing this if I'm not going to orgasm? And real sex probably won't ever pleasure me this much for so long, this is so unreal and dumb. Then I stopped it and It's been almost 3 days and I haven't felt like watching it again. Let's see what happens next when frustration and loneliness hits hard. PORNFREE (Relapses) Jan/23 - 04, 06, 07, 09, 11, 12, 13, 14, 17, 20, 21 NOFAP (Relapses) Jan/23 - 04, 05, 06, 07, 09, 10, 11, 13
In my experience it's only hard the first 4 to 5 days. After that there's urges only ocasionally between days 5 to 10, and after that most days I feel no urges to fap. It just becomes very manageable. I struggle more with watching it. Doesn't matter how many days it's been, if I'm on a bad day and I see some attractive woman on social media I tend to keep looking, then start remenbering onlyfans models and their new content, then it scalates and it's harder to stop. Being pornfree is way more tricky than nofap for me.
That streak without fapping lasted 11 days, since then I fapped in 6 out of the last 7 days. Last week also ended a 6 days porn free streak. For the first time I'm starting to lose faith I can do this on my own. I always had the belief I could do this on my own, especially because I've had 100+ streaks in the past, but it has been years and I'm still here a porn addict, month after month I keep using it, killing my motivation to go after something worthy, now this belief I can do it on my own, I'm not so sure of it. And that's scary because I won't share about it with anyone unless it's a professional, but I have no money for this. So what I'll do is calm down I try to keep hope. Also, this thread has been my accountability time, journaling weekly here is whats making me see how addicted I am, it's humbling. PORNFREE (Relapses) Jan/23 - 04, 06, 07, 09, 11, 12, 13, 14, 17, 20, 21, 27, 29 NOFAP (Relapses) Jan/23 - 04, 05, 06, 07, 09, 10, 11, 13, 24,25, 27, 28, 29, 30
Yes @Ícaro I see the value in your posting here. Posting helps us to cut the crap we tell ourselves. Disillusionment is good. I just posted this on another thread: What strategies have you tried already to overcome it? I recommend reading good materials like Your Brain on Porn and Mark Queppet on Youtube. I recommend lots of journalling to identify for yourself what you really want in life, how P pulls you away from that, and how to identify your triggers and deal with them in the moment. Get the free guide to Queppet's Metascript Journal method and try that consistently for a few weeks. This is also much more powerful if you incorporate a spiritual element, I believe the Christian gospel worldview covers all the bases. I haven't got it all figured out yet but I believe I've taken real ground against this addiction. Hope you can move into a much greater quality of life. All the best on your journey. Also I didn't post this on the other thread but check out https://www.smartrecovery.org . They offer free help and operate in a lot of countries, maybe there is a meeting close to you which you can get to.
PORNFREE (Relapses) Jan/23 - 04, 06, 07, 09, 11, 12, 13, 14, 17, 20, 21, 27, 29 Feb/23 - 03, 04, 05 NOFAP (Relapses) Jan/23 - 04, 05, 06, 07, 09, 10, 11, 13, 24,25, 27, 28, 29, 30 Feb/23 - 02, 03, 04, 05
Writing weekly in this thread gave me a different sense of accountability I've never felt before. Been trying to quit porn for like 5 years and my only strategy was always willpower, and it got reinforced overtime because I've had 60, 70 and 100+ days nofap streak. I'm not sure my longest streak pornfree but I guess it was 30 days. I tought I had it under control. Even seeing how bad last year was, how regularly I pmoed all year, how much time I wasted, I started this year confident this time I'd quit for good in 2023, it was my main new year resolution. So the year started and I started reporting here how it was going. Right away I started relapsing, couldn't even go a week clean, but I kept writing here confidently, "it were just slip ups", "relapses happen, the best I can do is accept and move on and do it as least as I can" I'd tell myself these things. But I kept relapsing, it's been a whole month and nothing changed, january was just like last year. And at some point when it was time to write here I just had nothing to say, what could I say? That this time I'm going to quit? I just updated the numbers and said nothing. But thinking about it this week, that was reality punching me in the face, I can't lie to myself anymore. I've been in denail the whole time. Relying on my willpower won't be enough, I've been trying this tactic for years. This is true accountability that I never had. So I started thinking about what I can do different. My porn use is 100% on my phone, so I downloaded a screen time tracker, uninstalled some apps like reddit and am going to lower that drastically, then created a new insta account with no following, except the absolute essential for work. I know porn blockers are probably a better option but iniatially I found it too tiring to look for and set up one, but I'm open to do whatever it takes to help me. Now I wanna see how it goes with much limited screen time and insta. PORNFREE (Relapses) Jan/23 - 04, 06, 07, 09, 11, 12, 13, 14, 17, 20, 21, 27, 29 Feb/23 - 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09 NOFAP (Relapses) Jan/23 - 04, 05, 06, 07, 09, 10, 11, 13, 24,25, 27, 28, 29, 30 Feb/23 - 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09
