24 Y/O, PMO for 10 years.

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by ed_nightmare, Sep 16, 2013.

  1. tk8888

    tk8888 New Member

    It does seem like anxiety is really playing a role in your current situation, but the copious amounts of booze isn't helping. I think 1 or 2 is actually better for loosening up. Maybe you should try having a drink before meeting up with this girl again and then doing your thing.

    The thing to remember is that anticipation of the sexual act, whether it is PMO or sex, will take over during a sexual encounter. When PMOing, anxiety is clearly not an issue since the computer doesn't have feelings and you recognize that. So the anticipation to PMO, which we all have felt when the dopamine rush hits as you're thinking about or fixing to(southern twang for about to) PMO, hits and takes over and you think about nothing else.

    When having sex, you're thinking about not having an erection, but also how your partner may feel about the whole scenario if you fail. So when you don't want to have sex, due to lack or rewiring, the anxiety will prevail more often than not. It will get into your head and you'll think about nothing else. How do you fight that? Rewire, rewire, rewire. That will build that anticipation to want to have sex with anything that is fuckable. The second thing to do is to meditate to battle anxiety. The more you meditate, the more you will be able to focus on being in the moment rather than being in your head fighting with the idea that you'll fail. The idea will go in and out of your head quickly instead of hovering. The third thing you can do to help with the rewiring process is keep building the dopamine receptors whether it is by working out, learning, fasting, etc. The 4th and toughest thing to do is to tell your partner the truth. I wouldn't do this with every girl obviously, but if there is one specific gal that you try to rewire with and actually like, why not give it a try. Just keep your options open and try to fuck around with as many girls as possible.

    Have a good long weekend man!
     
  2. ed_nightmare

    ed_nightmare Member

    Thanks dude. Yeah, meditation is something I'm hoping to learn over the summer...would be really beneficial I think. Meant to do it last year when someone else linked me but got so distracted.

    Anyway, happened again this morning. I suppose worrying about it happening yesterday and thinking about the whole PMO thing didn't help. I tend to avoid wet dreams and porn dreams when I'm getting on with life and not worrying about this issue. Gonna need to tackle it somewhen, so meditation is probably my next step.
     
  3. auzzie_mikey

    auzzie_mikey Well-Known Member

    Wow, you've been doing really well @ ed_nightmare

    I did read your post about the Blowjob in May and then you had a wet dream the next morning.

    Did this wet dream set you back? Did you feel brain fog and tiredness? How many days did it take to recover if you did?

    Cheers auzzie
     
  4. ed_nightmare

    ed_nightmare Member

    The main set back is that it started off a mini chain of wet dreams, and occasional porn dreams. Otherwise no real brain fog. Tiredness is something I feel all the time, but it wasn't any worse than usual. Not really sure what counts as recovery, but I'm still having sexual thoughts because of it. If we're talking libido, recovery was probably fairly quick...under a day or so?

    Day 156

    On a different note...something I have noticed which will make things more difficult is my view on sexual thoughts has changed. Before my reboot, they would lead into watching porn and masturbate. Now, my mind equates sexual desire and masturbation as bad things. Concsciously I know that's silly but it's an unconscious reaction; if I think of fucking the girl I was with recently, then I get symptoms of anxiety instead (such as a tight chest, uneven breathing and even tightness around my forehead/temples) and even occasional panic.

    I'm wondering if this is because I was effectively asexual/flat-lining for a few months. I was getting into the mindset of 'maybe life without sex is actually a better option' and then this span it around too quickly.
     
  5. ed_nightmare

    ed_nightmare Member

    Day 158

    Saw something online that peaked a non-sexual interest, which then quickly led to arousal. I don't count that as a relapse, but ergh. Just goes to show that you can never tell when something like that will pop up. Vigilance.
     
  6. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    Stay strong. Nearly 6 months mate.
     
  7. tk8888

    tk8888 New Member

    Damn you're doing well! Keep it up and don't underestimate the triggers even this far out.
     
  8. ed_nightmare

    ed_nightmare Member

    Day 161

    Today, I masturbated for the first time (to climax) since Dec 2013.

    I didn't watch, or fantasize about porn at any point during this. I had occasional thoughts of a girl I've fucked, and a girl I want to fuck, but only fleeting. It was almost completely sensation based. This would have been unthinkable 6 months ago. I would have needed to be staring at porn to cum, or be rock hard. Managed both without it, easily.

    The climax itself was a little disappointing; it wasn't as pleasurable as the orgasms I've had before the reboot. After doing it, I don't feel like it was worth it in itself, but given the fact I keep having uncontrollable wet dreams as of late, I felt it might be beneficial to see how a different approach would affect me; if I can slow them down, that'd be nice. If nothing else, it might also be beneficial in that it's shown me that masturbation isn't as pleasurable as it used to be.

    If there is no chaser effect from this, it might be the case that my brain has settled into a state where it deems masturbation as low priority or pointless. This is what I hope to be the case, especially as there were weeks where I didn't think about it much at all.

    I'll keep a close eye on any brain fog, or change in feeling/libido. I don't think I activated the same circuitry as with porn (definitely didn't feel the same) so I'm not expecting any major set backs, but one orgasm isn't likely to cause too much trouble anyway

    Bit disappointed to have to reset the counter for MO, but it's the PMO one that really counts, no? As far as I'm concerned, especially via the progress I've made and the length I've stayed away, that won't change. Also, the number may drop by 160, but the progress I've made has not dropped back to 0, which leads me to conclude that I shouldn't be too hung up on the number, but focus instead on progress.

    I'll make a 6 month update (as far as I'm concerned, the 161 is still valid unless I fuck up with porn or get addicted to masturbation; fat chance, I can't see it becoming a habit) in a couple weeks with a sum up of my total experience thus far. I hope I haven't failed the people following my posts in some way.
     
  9. chizzleman

    chizzleman New Member

    Very impressive! I'm over 10 months no PMO and still don't see the end of the tunnel to getting hard to my own fantasy/touch. I hope it comes soon.

    Congrats!
     
  10. tk8888

    tk8888 New Member

    I think you should use that chaser to try and get laid ;D.

    It sucks that you MO'd, but you know as well as I do that one MO using very little thought or fantasy will not slow you down all that much if you have went nearly HALF A YEAR with out masturbating. Don't let yourself think that this MO will make a significant difference, but also do not let it happen again.

    Also, I like the idea of posting/lurking less than usual. Have been trying to limit myself as much as possible.
     
  11. auzzie_mikey

    auzzie_mikey Well-Known Member

    Hey man,

    After wet dreams or PMO before, did you feel these effects:

    - Brain Fog
    - Difficulty Communicating
    - Can't socialise properly (there's a huge difference)
    - Can't comprehend and study as well
    - Motivation to do anything is much lower

    Because I feel this effects still after WD or PMO for about 5 days man. Please answer :)
     
  12. ed_nightmare

    ed_nightmare Member

    Day 180

    So I figured now I've hit the 6 month mark, I'd summarize what I've noticed thus far.


    Mental

    Porn addiction.

    Gone. Completely. I don't spend my time surfing for porn, nor do I feel an urge to do so. The closest I ever get is when I'm in a bad mood, or bored, I might think 'Should I look at porn? Hahahaha no.'

    Fetishes

    I actually stumbled upon one of them the other day...instinctively I stopped looking, and didn't feel much arousal. I know if I'd continued looking it would elicit the same reaction as it used to, but I find it much easier to stop thinking about them if they do pop up.

    How I view women

    At the beginning, I became conscious that my brain would be telling me 'go on, have a peek...' quite a bit during conversation with women. Especially at the beginning, I felt pretty lecherous. Now I find it much easier to maintain eye contact with them, I find I relate to them better, and whilst I might appreciate a hot looking woman in the street, my thoughts don't turn to porn like fantasies.

    Fantasy

    If I do fantasize, it's more about vanilla situations now. The closest I get to porn related acts is thinking about a blowjob occasionally. Previously that wouldn't have done it for me, I'd have needed fetishes to make it interesting. Now I'm more interested in thoughts like kissing, or stroking.


    Physical

    Masturbation

    I went 161 days without masturbation. I've noticed that I can now achieve a fairly hard erection without the need for porn related fantasy, and without much fantasy at all. I still have a tendency to use the fast motion method, however I don't use death grip like I used to. Sometimes I still have some trouble, but I think that's down to low arousal more than anything. Now, when I noticed this, I don't force it, but let it go. Which leads on to...

    Libido.

    I don't really have one, at least I'm not sure it's in the right sense of the word. I don't look at women on the street and feel anything down below. I rarely have a major urge to find a woman to fuck (although it's still on my list of wants). If I see vanilla porn accidentally (so like, nudity in GoT, or TV shows) I don't get aroused. I'm almost a-sexual in that regard. Whether this is basically a six month flat line I don't know. It's not majorly important though, because not spending an hour or so masturbating each day is a great thing.

    Sex/Erections with others

    I haven't actually done much rewiring. It's been hit and miss, although the last couple times I've had sex, I've been able to maintain some form of erection. Condoms are still a bit shit for me though and I've never came in one, but I have managed to have my first orgasm with a woman, albeit via a blowjob. There's definite improvement there, and should I get the chance to rewire some more, I think I'll make further progress.

    Sensitivity

    A combination of time, and Man 1 Man Oil has made my penis more sensitive than it's been in years. It felt great getting a blowjob; previous blow jobs were a bit dull, but now there's definite feeling. Not as great as I'd like perhaps, but still an improvement. I might start using the M1MO again until next week (gonna have sex with a friend).

    Wet Dreams/Morning Wood

    Oddly, these have tapered off. I found my wet dreams were mostly around times I'd inadvertently stumbled upon a porn trigger and had to cut off the thoughts. It's as if my brain was cheating as it knew I was unconscious and couldn't resist. Mostly though, they've ceased. Morning wood has also reduced greatly; maybe once or twice a month? Might be related to the porn triggers, I don't know, but could also be due to the flat line.

    Orgasm

    The first orgasm I had after all this time was intense. Like a pressure hose being turned on. Probably the closest a bloke could get to understanding what multiple orgasms were like. Since then, they've died down a bit in intensity, and aren't quite as good as the kind I got with porn, but I'm hoping with time that'll improve. I try not to orgasm too much though; if this is a long flat line, I don't want to extend it indefinitely.

    Brain Fog

    After orgasm? Not as much as before, although there are still minor negative effects. Motivation is lowered a little bit, and I might think of women a little more sexually than I normally do, but otherwise I think the other issues like communication and socialising have mostly sorted themselves out.


    Conclusions


    I've kicked the porn habit. That in itself is a great thing. However, whether I could class myself as rebooted, I'm not sure. Also, am I ready for the rewiring stage. What do people think?

    Eitherway, I'm unlikely to get much in the way of further progress unless I find a woman to consistently rewire with. Until then, I might continue with fortnightly masturbation, or even less. I think that's a fairly healthy amount.
     
  13. tk8888

    tk8888 New Member

    Great synopsis!

    Glad to hear that all is going well for you. It seems like rewiring may help to kickstart those urges to fuck women. Can't wait to jump back on the horse and make my way back up to your level!
     
  14. ed_nightmare

    ed_nightmare Member

    Day 197

    I'm wondering, what really is libido? I can't work out whether I have one or not.

    I don't get erections in the street seeing hot women. I do look at them sometimes and think 'I would enjoy sleeping with her', or even 'I wish I had the courage to ask her out'.

    I've been masturbating more recently. I don't do it to porn, porn fantasy, I don't use deathgrip, and I'm slowing down stroking speed as time goes on. The only mental images I get are maybe flashes of women I've either slept with, or would like to, but the images are more geared towards imagining their faces, or just the idea of sleeping with them. Strictly non pornographic situations (caressing etc). I have had no urge to return to pornography, or the fetishes I used to rely on.

    I feel like I have the urge to do this more, and my body responds to it more than it used to. At the same time, perhaps I should abstain from it, but it was reintroducing masturbation that stopped me feeling a-sexual, like I have done for the past few months. I feel like my sexuality has re-emerged somewhat, albeit in a non fucked up sense.

    I've read that masturbation after a reboot can kick start the libido. Now, I'm not sure whether an 81 day followed by a 161 day streak of no PMO (with one relapse in between) is classed as a full reboot. From what I've said, does this seem like a plausible scenario? Or should I stop masturbating again?
     
  15. ed_nightmare

    ed_nightmare Member

    Day 228

    No real update so to speak of. Chatting to a couple of women recently, something 'might' happen at some point in the future. Just wondering, is it possible to buy Cialis without a prescription in the UK, or any other form of ED pills? Kinda want some on standby just in case something occurs and I have problems.
     
  16. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    You can import them into the UK at your own risk but you won't buy them at a pharmacy in the UK without a prescription.
     
  17. ed_nightmare

    ed_nightmare Member

    Damn. I'm a little bit wary of importing, since you never know what will be in them. Are there any UK based available equivalents? I can't find any via searching online but never know if people here might know more...
     
  18. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    I imported tadacip which is the generic of tadafil (cialis) from India to Australia and it worked perfectly.
     
  19. ed_nightmare

    ed_nightmare Member

    Cheers dude, I'll look into that.

    Also, is it just me that finds now I've reintroduced masturbation (obviously not porn based) that my libido is going up? Also, my masturbatory refractory period seems to have lessened; it used to be really shit (like 5 days) but now I find I can be horny again within 48 hours, my morning woods/nocturnal erections have returned after weeks and weeks of being absent.
     
  20. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    I noticed the same.
     

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