Another relapse. I did notice upon looking at an old unused fetish that it didn't actually excite me at all (this is one I've not really thought about much in months). That wasn't the trigger either. It makes me hopeful that eventually my current fixation will eventually go away too. The more I resist the urge to do anything, the weaker it should get and the less chance of it being triggering. That's the hope anyway. One question I have is: Does a relapse remove all progress/put me back to square one? After my last relapse I managed to get morning erections again after just a few days and then got the random boner I mentioned above which makes me think not. Is a one off relapse more likely to just stall progress than undo it?
One quick relapse is just a hiccup. Do it another 10 times in the next few days and your going to have a big setback.
The first relapse I had, I ended up doing it about 7 times in a day. The last relapse was maybe 3. This one, I've lost the mood after just one. So if I leave it at this, I've probably not lost more than a couple days progress right? I actually want to cry so badly. Why do I do this to myself?
Okay make that twice as I just edged to fantasy ( to see if during erection I gained sensitively after a week of vitamin e use) and accidentally went past it...I despise myself. NO MORE! I really dont know how much I'm being set back here and it scares me so much. When you say hiccup Gameover are we talking stalled or more?
Can only say based on myself but I never lost any progress ED wise other then maybe a day feeling shit if I watched porn and masturbated for around 15 minutes or so
That's good at least...a day is nothing. Hell, a few days are nothing as long as I'm not back to square one, right? Actually, I did remember another folder on my computer that I've just deleted that had some old fetishes in. I did quickly scan through some of them and got a reaction from them which is worrying. However instead of relapsing, as soon as I deleted them I put my junk in cold water for half a minute and the urge was gone. Surprised how well that method worked. I think that's all the porn from my bookmarks, history, and laptop gone now. Hopefully no more nasty surprises. Time to hit the gym tonight. Hopefully endorphins will stabilise my mood.
Relapsed again. 5 days seems to be a bloody common denominator. University has started now and I've got issues with that (unsure if I want to do the course, sticking that out for the long haul/3 years), so I figured that would be distraction enough but I slipped :/. Started edging and of course, went too far and accidentally, yeah. Very stupid of me.
Nothing to do but pick yourself up and go again, mate. You've identified day 5 as a sticking point. So this time, beat it!
Thanks dude. 23 is my personal best so far, during which I managed to see some real progress ED wise with a girl I was close to (though there was cuddling beforehand). I think there may be another girl in the pipeline soon so I do need to be prevalent. Dunno why I figured it'd be okay to peek, it really isn't! I guess that was my 'it's harmless just to look, oh wait no it wasn't' realization (that I should have figured before). Feeling a bit glum now but nothing I can do. One orgasm isn't going to undo all of 5 days.
Is there a way to differentiate between stress and a flat-line? I'm really stressed at the moment, and my head is all over the place, but I'm not feeling any urges at all, towards women. Like, I still notice them, but don't really care. Certainly nothing down there. Feels like I'm dead inside.
Right, I'm nearly at 10 days, but this morning I had a lot of fantasy based dreams, woke up, and quickly peeked at porn (talking maybe 2 minutes on a slow phone before I shut it off). I was aroused but didn't masturbate to it, and didn't orgasm. I'm still shaky on the details, but this doesn't count as a relapse, right? Not in the major set-back kinda way? An hour after however, I did masturbate, but there was ZERO fantasy involved. I managed to get almost rock hard for a few minutes but lost it quickly (however, I noticed my sensitivity has increased a little bit, which was nice). So I'm unsure whether the peeking caused a massive dopamine surge in the same way as an orgasm would (hence my concern about relapsing).
I would just continue but if you keep peaking it builds up to a pretty nasty relapse usually. Try cut it out anyway you can. Thanks for commenting In my journal as well.
DAY 17 Two minor updates: I have peaked at porn once or twice since my last post, however I haven't masturbated, edged, or orgasmed from them. Shut them off fairly quickly. I don't 'think' this counts as a relapse (usually my morning wood disappears for a few days after relapse, and it hasn't). Still trying to fight the habit of looking, even if I don't masturbate to it anymore. Also, my 3 month supply of Man 1 Man Oil has arrived. However: Results won't show for some time, if they do at all. I'm in a flat-line, so chances are I won't get chance to test sensitivity. I'm not seeing anyone, so no chance for sex likely in the near future There might be other ways to test sensitivity (shower streams etc), so I'll apply this every day and keep you posted. I've heard more good things than bad however.
Quick question: If you're still getting morning wood, or sexual dreams, can you still be in a flatline, or is this something else? I've got all the other symptoms of a flat line (no libido, or erections when awake), so unsure. Thoughts?
Read this thread: don't see the huge problem here. You can get an erection for 30 minutes making out? Next time you are, grab her, get naked, and give it to her. Don't stop until you orgrasm, because you will.
Dreams are weird, ed. I'm in a similar boat (no libido/erections), but there's often sexual content in my dreams.
Yeah, I'm not sure if it's the brain trying to make up for the lack of porn. Who knows. And Chizzle, it's only happened once. With someone I failed with plenty of times, and having no sensitivity during means I've still never come during sex. Which causes problems of it's own (A being that it doesn't feel great to me, B being that it pushes people away because they feel it's their fault.) If it was likely to be a regular thing I wouldn't need the board, but until I regain sensitivity, lose this potential flat line and make sure that orgasm during sex won't set me back, I will.
Well I beat my previous goal in terms of orgasms. I've not had an orgasm for 24 days so I feel the MO counter on my profile is still valid. Peeking at porn is another problem altogether. I did install K9, but looks like I need to strengthen the security. The only problem is one of the things I'm turned on by is not actually porn in the conventional sense, so K9 can't protect me from it. It requires more willpower (it's nothing illegal, just...kinky). Sensitivity seems to have increased mildly on the top, but the shaft is now very sensitive. I'm not sure whether this is the Man 1 Man Oil doing it or the near month without orgasm, but I can't tell unless I get with anyone. Still obviously in flatline, but I don't expect that'll go before the end of the year.
I think filters are overrated. If we decide we're going to see porn, we'll find it. This battle is an internal one. If we're going to win, it requires that we reach a point where we're not peeking. We've got to get to a position where we're not using the net to arouse ourselves.
